To struggle with his scalp psoriasis? (attraction)

[VioletW]

My partner has scalp psoriasis and I noticed it on the first date. Obviously, the rest outweighed that issue as here we are.

But a year later it does bother me at times. Some days it isn't noticeable and others it is really bad and flaky, and I have to be honest, looks gross.

Ive spoken to him about treatment and he dismissed it, saying he tried once and it's pointless. Also 'I don't care, I'm not trying to win beauty contests"

But he does have head and shoulders in the bathroom and uses it, so he must care a bit. Am I being very shallow?

I don’t think it’s fair to blame him like this. I’ve had psoriasis since I was 13, I’m now 52. Ir’s always on my scalp and I have small patches on my body, sometimes worse, some times better. It never changes and I’m not aware of anyone in my family who had psoriasis having more early joint issues than other people. Like all things different people will react in different ways.

I don’t think the OP has said her DP has a diet of booze and UPF?

I have psoriasis pretty much everywhere, but my scalp seems to have cleared up. Been using T-Gel shampoo and am gluten free which seems to have helped. I am sure gut health plays a big part so dietary changes are a must. Its hard but try quitting /cutting down on sugar, dairy, alcohol. Keep a food diary to check which foods cause a flare up.

@theleafandnotthetree the OP used the word shallow which is why I used it too. I know nobody owes a relationship time but it's sad she can't look beyond this.

Psoriasis is a horrible condition and I now have psoriatic arthritis - that’s no fun I can tell you. The only thing that ever worked on my scalp was a corkscrew perm in the 80s - think it burnt it off!

Not read many PP but a relative had v. bad psoriasis which she no longer has because she follows a strict diet determined for her by doctor specialising in cure rather than steroid prescriptions. e.g. She eat none of the night shade plants - tomatoes, peppers, egg plant etc and also various other things.

My dry scalp flares up and depresses me, so I got shampoo and cocoisis on prescription from my gp and it really really helped.

I think what I eat also affects it. Haven't worked out what triggers it as yet.

I take a couple of left over takeaway sugars (McD's or whatever, the sugar you get with your coffee in a paper tube thing) into the bathroom and mix it with shampoo and use it as a scalp scrub once a week. Same with my dry legs but I use shower gel to mix the sugar in for that.

No need for expensive products. The sugar helps me greatly but I wouldn't use on broken skin.

Scalp Psoriasis (zscaler.com)

I don't blame him at all. It's just very sad that his life is so affected and there are actually things you can do to stop it progressing to arthritis. A good friend has psoriasis all over her body, she completely stopped drinking, changed jobs to reduce stress and became mostly vegan. Her psoriasis has cleared up.

There's research into immune conditions being heavily affected by our gut and so drinking alcohol and the foods we eat definitely do impact psoriasis. This was just the first three on Google but there are lots more:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9321451/

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8970207/

www.frontiersin.org/journals/microbiology/articles/10.3389/fmicb.2020.589726/full

Given they have no idea what causes psoriatic arthritis, I don't think you can say he could have prevented it. The articles you linked to are looking at psoriasis, not psoriatic arthritis. Severity of psoriasis is not correlated with onset of psoriatic arthritis.

I’M not aware of anyone having psoriatic arthritis in my family but probably 50% have psoriasis on their skin (including me). Some people don’t have psoriasis on their scalp but may have patches elsewhere. I don’t think the picture of progression you are painting is a valid one.

My experience is similar to @brimfulofpacha (brilliant user name btw). I think most of us have been through the process of trying different treatments and shampoos over the years. I was diagnosed at 8, so I've had half a century of trying things out.

For me it doesn't seem to be diet related. I haven't had gluten or milk for over a decade (coeliac) and am as scaly now as I was then. DH will simply brush my back gently if needed and not make a fuss about it. Apart from a definite link to stress levels, there's no real pattern to what works for me, whether prescription or other treatments.

Whatever you decide to do, OP, please do recognize that most of us have tried many things over time. It's not the easiest of diseases to manage.

Also a coeliac , have raynauds and hypothyroid too as well as psoriasis I do wonder if there is a link between them all like a faulty gene or something .

The TGel for psoriasis worked for me. You have to put it on, leave it for a few minutes so he could brush his teeth and then rinse out.

But, I do think you’re being unreasonable and harsh. It’s a chronic condition with flare ups without reason.

I don't have this condition but I do take an immune suppressant which makes my skin dry. I also had dishydrotic eczema for over a year that disappeared when I started the immune suppressant.

My starting point for anything skin related is to look at diet. My skin has always improved and looked better in a couple of weeks when my diet is on point - by that I mean ensuring I hit nutrition targets for everything inclusing calories and macros and eat enough greens. The second thing to look at is stress. I managed to clear up my eczema when I was younger by managing stress by doing yoga once or twice a week. There are lots of other stress relieving activities. I'm not saying treatments to manage it won't be needed too but diet and stress have multiple benefits anyway so worth a try.

Head and shoulders will be making it 10x worse

I have psoriasis, he needs a tar infused shampoo, polytar and t gel are good.

This makes me paranoid of what my partner thinks when I'm having a flare up😂

Is the main issue that he has psoriasis or that he isn't interested in seeking treatment for it?

My uncle had severe psoriasis on his head and some other areas. At its worst it flaked all over his clothes and it did smell wierd too. He also had depression and the two were hugely linked - he always got a flare-up during periods of feeling really down. This was probably due to a mix of factors- not eating well at those points, stress and he would stop using his tar shampoo too.

How is he other than the psoriasis? Encouraging exercise, eating well, finding ways to reduce stress would all be helpful.

I get Alphosyl on prescription for mine, mostly it is now a tiny bit on top of my head.

Mine was pustular so you can imagine how that impacted me as a young woman.

Continually, people recommending things - I’m super happy if they’ve worked for you. For many of us, we’ve tried those over the last 20 years and they haven’t worked. T Gel does not solve psoriasis!!!

The only think that has helped me is immunosuppressant drugs which bring a lot of nasty side effects.

Over 30 years here , different things worked at different times for me , happy to get recommendations but understand they won't work for everyone

Because there is a chance it will work.

Yes it is frustrating to hear what works for other people if it doesn't work for you but it might just work for the person posting.