School not letting my child from the school

[Kutika]

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

How did u pick her up last year?
I wouldn't want to be the 9 yrs old girl whose parents "forgot yo pick her up again" .

I can't believe anyone thinks the OP is unreasonable. Walking independently to and from school is something we transitioned to with my DS's readiness (and ours). I'd have been astounded if his school thought they could override us.
Do people also let schools tell you when you can transition to leaving children unattended at home, or start popping up to the corner store, or play out with friends?

My children's old primary school allow children to make their own way home from year 5 if a form is filled out by the parent.

Seems crazy to me as you live so close.

Is there a parent that can 'collect' your child for you, so they can be released from the school?

Schools aren't held responsible for things that happen outside school hours and outside schools grounds.

I can see your point but destroying the relationship with the school for 6 months is in my opinion not worth it. My child would also have been mortified and asked me to drop it. I have had to dial into many meetings on my phone via team app, headphones in and collect kids. It’s just life as a working parent. I’m sure that between you, your DH and other child, that usually one of you is around. If the child can go to Afterschool if not then I’d just do that. It’s still a decent arrangement.

Well no as they have no involvement in those things, they do with picking up the child given it’s on their premises.

But what if the parents are not making their decision based on the best interests of their child? You seem to think that all parents act sensible and with their child in mind.

If the school is concerned, they should contact social services to take the case over.
It just isn't school's role to override parental decision in this question.

Is there any evidence at all that this level of school over reach in the name of safeguarding has any better outcomes than in all the countries that do let parents make their own decision though?
Or do we instead find that stifling a child's natural growth to independence leading to unhappy anxious teenagers?

So do English schools 'allow' children to walk to school independently but just not home again? The whole thing is crazy. It's outside school hours and it's a parents decision.

If the school have concerns about a particular parent's abilities or judgement they should be raising this with the authorities and let them make the decision on what is best for the child outside of school hours and school grounds.

Absolute madness.

The OP is entirely reasonable. So many of you are sheep. You are the definition of a nanny state.

OP

1. That insurance aspect of the after school club
2. Challenge the ht on handing your child over to afc without your permission
3. Discuss that nspcc link someone helpfully provided (which refers to age 8 being a reasonable age to walk unaccompanied)
4. Escalate to the board of governors

Best of luck. How incredibly frustrating.**

Sorry didn't mean to add **

You're quite right, OP.

If your child doesn't mind the afterschool club then you could simply ensure you have a paper trail proving that you did not consent to the school putting her into the afterschool club, that you asked them to release her to walk home, and that you are refusing to pay for the club. Let them take you to court to try to make you pay for a service which you can prove you didn't agree to.

It's more tricky if she wants to be at home rather than the ASC. I like @Takoneko's suggestion of raising the insurance issue to the club, and making sure that the club itself knows you have no intention of paying for a service you refused. Might work.

I live in Scotland. I dont think this is a thing here 🫤

After Primary 1 in our school the teachers just walk them to the playground and they all go off home. Most little ones know if their adult isn’t there they should go back to their teacher to wait but there is absolutely nothing to stop them just walking out of the gate.

I’m surprised to read that it is so different in England.

My eldest was walked home every day from primary school, because he had a younger brother. He's somehow managed to cope now he's in secondary school and walks.

Complying with school policy isn't being a "sheep" for goodness sake. It's simply managing to comply with the policies that you know you were agreeing to when you accepted the school place. Whether through choosing the school or being allocated it.

If you don't like the policy, challenge it through the appropriate process. Challenge it with legal threats if you're happy that the school is being illegal. But there's no need to cause constant difficulties for the school and your child by refusing to pick her up or arrange a suitable alternative in the meantime.

I thought you said the school have no policy on it?

Yanbu

In fact at dd2’s primary it would have been encouraged in year 5 to have that level of independence.

I’m not sure it is - it depends on the school.

OP - do the school actually hand over individual year 5’s to parents then? That isn’t normal either.

If not then can’t you tell dc to crack on and if the school want to call social services then let them?

I don't think you are being unreasonable but I do feel sorry for your child who is caught in the middle of this. I would put my child above a point of principle and would pick her up at the end of the day. It's not really fair that she is being sent to after school because you are in a dispute with the school. If someone is genuinely at home available to pick them up then I don't know why you would take the approach you are as it is directly impacting your child

A kid can choose not to go to the detention, it isn’t forced.

There may be consequences for not going but if they say ‘nope, see ya’ or the parent refuses no one actually detains them on the premises.

It’s a completely different situation.

It is not very nice to put your DD in the middle of all this drama just because you don’t want to pay for ASC to be honest.
Also, most people WFH can easily block 15min in their calendar, as long as they log back on afterwards.

I wouldn't argue with the school, just put your dc in after school club for now as it's unreasonable for your dc to be affected by this argument between you and the school.

The school is very unreasonable though. My dc is in year 6 and has been walking home independently since summer term of year 4. We live about 4 minutes door to door with one small road crossing. Our school was always supportive of this. DC is diligent and like school, I am part of the PTA and the school know our family well in a positive way.

Both dh and I work from home all week. The reasons I do not want nor can collect dc is that dh and I are in meeting after meeting. Dc can walk home in a few minutes after school but it always took about half an hour to pick up form school as you have to wait until the doors open. My team isn't going to schedule large inter-departmental meetings based on pick up times.

I also found that dc loves walking home independently. I finish work at 4pm and am available after that.

Parents were not necessarily aware of the policy when the child started school. They probably didn't let parents know when choosing the school and the policy may not have been in place then anyway. If a policy doesn't make sense there is absolutely nothing wrong with questioning it. Parents shouldn't be forced to pay for an after school club because of an ill thought out policy which is certainly not universal.