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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School not letting my child from the school

844 replies

Kutika · 05/09/2024 15:59

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 05/09/2024 16:49

Context needed here before anyone can help!

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:50

Apologies for missing some details in my first post. My child is in Year 5, currently 9 years old, and will be 10 in October. We live just 300 yards from the school, and there are no roads for her to cross on the way home. The school is citing a non-existent policy that only allows children to walk home from April. I’ve already expressed my concerns, asking what difference these six months will make, but they are still refusing to let her leave. Instead, they’re placing her in the after-school club, which they are charging us for, without our consent. The child as no special needs or anything. School keeps saying that it is their desition and nobody can change.

OP posts:
Procrastinates · 05/09/2024 16:52

Why can't you go and collect them if it's only 300 yards. I don't think it's unfair of the school to not want a 9 year old going home alone.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 05/09/2024 16:52

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:50

Apologies for missing some details in my first post. My child is in Year 5, currently 9 years old, and will be 10 in October. We live just 300 yards from the school, and there are no roads for her to cross on the way home. The school is citing a non-existent policy that only allows children to walk home from April. I’ve already expressed my concerns, asking what difference these six months will make, but they are still refusing to let her leave. Instead, they’re placing her in the after-school club, which they are charging us for, without our consent. The child as no special needs or anything. School keeps saying that it is their desition and nobody can change.

Edited

Would she be going home to an adult or an empty house?

Reugny · 05/09/2024 16:52

TinyYellow · 05/09/2024 16:47

If both the trust and the head of the school have denied OP’s request, then it is likely to be for fair reason, even if it appears unreasonable to parents. Parents often don’t know the situation in its entirety.

The majority of primary schools in England have had policies for the last 2 decades that children under a certain age cannot walk home to and from school alone.

I known various parents who have challenged it over the years.

Most of them never go to the head or trust to ask. They tell the head what they are doing. They then just let their child if they live right next door or children if they have twins but live slightly further, walk to school and leave the head to continually kick off. They then have refused to pick them up repeatedly.

Eastie77Returns · 05/09/2024 16:53

What do you mean the policy is non-existent? If they’ve told you the rule is she cannot go home on her own until April then it clearly exists?

I agree it all sounds ridiculous btw.

Mainoo72 · 05/09/2024 16:53

School will have their reasons. We can’t possibly know the full story here. Will she be letting herself in the house & be there on her own?

fruitbrewhaha · 05/09/2024 16:53

It’s annoying but it’s only until April. Can you ask for someone else to collect her who walks her way?

Reugny · 05/09/2024 16:53

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:50

Apologies for missing some details in my first post. My child is in Year 5, currently 9 years old, and will be 10 in October. We live just 300 yards from the school, and there are no roads for her to cross on the way home. The school is citing a non-existent policy that only allows children to walk home from April. I’ve already expressed my concerns, asking what difference these six months will make, but they are still refusing to let her leave. Instead, they’re placing her in the after-school club, which they are charging us for, without our consent. The child as no special needs or anything. School keeps saying that it is their desition and nobody can change.

Edited

Don't pay the after school club.

And don't pick your child up from the after school club.

You just have to be more bloody minded then them.

Edited to say: Incidentally everyone I know started it with their kids walking to school on their own rather than not picking them up. The schools kicked off on that but they couldn't force them to take their kids to school - this includes my DDs school btw. Some of the kids live right next to the school in a block of flats.

KrisAkabusi · 05/09/2024 16:55

If it's only 300 yards, why don't you pick her up? Or is it really that you're not there and she would be going home to an empty house?

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:55

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 05/09/2024 16:52

Would she be going home to an adult or an empty house?

No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 05/09/2024 16:55

It’s not just about how far from the school the child lives, it’s about knowing the child is in the care of a responsible adult once they leave the school.
The school would be held accountable if they just let the child go without an adult and something happens to them either on the way or at home before the responsible adult returned. We live in a society where people are so quick to threaten litigation when something goes wrong.school is following good safeguarding practice.

ginnybag · 05/09/2024 16:55

I agree that a short walk with no roads at 10 shouldn't be an issue. However...

Is there someone at home when she arrives?

If so, what is the reason they can't take ten minutes to go and get her?

If not, then it isn't just the walk - it's the fact that she's too young to be home on her own (for how long?) and that there would be no-one to raise an alarm if she didn't make it safely.

Bluevelvetsofa · 05/09/2024 16:55

If they’re saying from April, perhaps that’s when evenings are lighter. From October/November to the end of the Easter term, mornings and early evenings are darker.

Procrastinates · 05/09/2024 16:55

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:55

No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone.

So why can't he just go and get her?

Mainoo72 · 05/09/2024 16:56

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:55

No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone.

So why can’t your husband walk the 300 yards to meet her then. Makes no sense.

Soontobe60 · 05/09/2024 16:56

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:55

No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone.

Is your eldest child over 18? Is there a reason why they cannot walk the 300 yards to collect their sibling?

Topseyt123 · 05/09/2024 16:56

What a ridiculously vague post! Nobody can possibly answer without much more detail.

How old is the child?
Do you mean leave to walk home alone?
Leave early for a medical/dental appointment?
Leave altogether and remain gone?
Any behavioural issues colouring the school's view?

People can't advise if given zero information.

GrandHighPoohbah · 05/09/2024 16:56

Could your older child pick her up? Our school allowed that if the child picking them up was over 14.

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:57

Eastie77Returns · 05/09/2024 16:53

What do you mean the policy is non-existent? If they’ve told you the rule is she cannot go home on her own until April then it clearly exists?

I agree it all sounds ridiculous btw.

There is no policy about it. They don't have it. The only thing that they have a handbook which was issued in Year R

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 05/09/2024 16:57

I don’t think the school are being unreasonable here. If you were at home, it would only take a few minutes to pop to the school for pick up.

If you’re not around, then you’re asking school to release her to an empty home. And that in itself is a safeguarding concern.

Reugny · 05/09/2024 16:58

StormingNorman · 05/09/2024 16:57

I don’t think the school are being unreasonable here. If you were at home, it would only take a few minutes to pop to the school for pick up.

If you’re not around, then you’re asking school to release her to an empty home. And that in itself is a safeguarding concern.

It isn't an empty home there is an older child and an adult who will be at home.

Kutika · 05/09/2024 16:58

GrandHighPoohbah · 05/09/2024 16:56

Could your older child pick her up? Our school allowed that if the child picking them up was over 14.

This is the reason they do not allow it to be an adult. I have contacted their trust and asked for their advice it was mentioned that they have no problem with the child walking home.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 16:58

Presumably they are putting her in the after school club because no adult is arriving to pick her up. So if you actually went to pick her up then you wouldn't be charged.

Just go and pick her up.

HateMyselfToo · 05/09/2024 16:58

Why is this the hill you want to die on? Why can't the older sibling or your DH pick her up?