School not letting my child from the school

[Kutika]

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

Yes, much later and when she’s been asked if he WFH. She still doesn’t use that phrase, just says ‘meetings’. It would have been very easy to clarify on the first page when people asked about the post. I wonder why she didn’t?

I live the fact that so many people think because someone in a school has decided something it must be correct. Do you not think all schools would be doing the same thing if it was?

The “she would never be alone” suggests otherwise.

If the DH would arrive home just after and the eldest child might not be there until a bit later too, then OP could have written “so she would only be alone for a few minutes.” But she didn’t. She wrote “So she would never be alone”. Which indicates that precise timing of when DH finishes work is not a concern for whether there is someone home.

OP also mentioned in a later post that her DH might have meetings at pick up time, which explains why pointing out that he was working, not just sat on his arse at home was relevant.

"Do you not think all schools would be doing the same thing if it was?"

Well they do though don't they? All of the set age limits and rules on collecting children are.

They differ only in the minimum age they will allow pupils to walk home unsupervised etc ( parents written request or otherwise) presumably because of areas / local risks / past history of incidents in the area etc.

Because she’s already said that her DD would never be alone at home. An OP getting into a tit-for-tat with posters trying to pick holes in what they’ve posted just leaves an OP with less time to engage with posts that are relevant and useful.

Bonkers. Children should be walking home from year 3 as long as no dangerous roads to cross. No wonder there's such poor mental health in children and teenagers when they are babied to this extent.

Social services will laugh at the school as there's clearly no safeguarding issue here.

how do the school know who is picking who up at my daughters school they all just come piling out could you not pick her up for a few days in case they check then just have her walk home after that?

Our school policy just says written request for under year 5. However they don’t actually supervise the departure of children from Y3 upwards so it’s pretty irrelevant whether you’ve written it or not!

edit - policy isn’t written anywhere I’ve seen but is what I was told when I asked about my Y3 leaving on her own.

‘lawful’ 🙄
They are not ‘withholding’ her child. They are making her child available for collection by a suitable adult as per their rules.
As I said before, if she doesn’t like their rules she’s free to choose a different school.

@Beeboopaboo She says husband and elder sibling get home around the same time. So what good reason is there for one of them not collecting the 9 year old on their way home?

Her DH WFH, but sometimes he could have meetings at the end of the day. Who knows with the eldest child, adter school activities maybe?

I think the point is that the OP and her DH have decided, quite reasonably, that their almost 10 year old is quite capable of making a simple, safe journey independently on foot and would like her to have that responsibility and independence. The school are insisting on overriding that parental decision.

I am actually astonished how many people on here seem to think it is reasonable that a child that age should not be allowed to do this unsupervised. By the sound of it, the OP does not live in a high risk area.

"Social services will laugh at the school as there's clearly no safeguarding issue here"

Given that social services and the school could be subject to an inquiry and used as case studies in training session if harm came to the child I think this is unlikely.

Many professionals err on the side of caution when it comes to child safety. I'm sure they'd far prefer the occasional snide comment than the alternative.

Exactly this

If you’d read the OP’s posts you would have your questions answered and save yourself this arsey reply too.

These threads always depress me. The total hysteria.

If anything happened to your 9 year old on their walk home, would you be “sad face” all over the Daily Mail?

There wasn’t an age limit at Dds school. They handed to a parent up to year 3 and that was it.

" The school are insisting on overriding that parental decision."

The school disagree with the parents risk assessment and are acting accordingly including advising they may need to refer to social services who override parental decisions quite frequently I'd imagine.

Is that reasonable in this case? Possibly not but no one on here has enough information to make an informed decision on that

They handed to a parent up to year 3 and that was it.

So they let a child walk home unsupervised once were old enough to be in year 3 but not year 2? Sounds like an age limit to me....

.perhaps year limit might be a better term and is more practical to implement in this setting.

And no doubt the child is home safely by now so all is well at the end of the day ( if you pardon the pun) 😁

So, DC has just started year 5, which means presumably, given you’re in Kent, school has been in session for approx ONE WEEK. During this time, you’ve had several conversations with the head, called the police, and submitted a complaint to the trust. Because prior to this DC was in ASC.

You haven’t really given anyone a fair chance to respond in an appropriate and considered manner, the whole tone of your post is extremely combative and not child-focussed, and you’ve given no consideration to any of the other pressures the school may have to consider during the first week of term. Not to mention the fact they’ve already said it’ll be fine from April.

Have you even thought about the impact on your DC - whether they’re ready to walk home alone or not, you insisting on school shoving them into ASC because you’ve got a bee in your bonnet about questioning policy is going to make them feel unloved and unwanted.

Pull your head in, give the school / trust time to respond appropriately, and suck it up til you can come to a resolution.

I don't know whether they would let certain children out without a parent being there if the parent asked for that though. I doubt any one did. Regardless, if the policy was based on any legality or rule set outside the school it would be the same age limit everywhere.

So it's not safe for my pre-pubescent summer-born 11yo child to walk out of his secondary school alone.
And it's not safe for little female me to walk down the road to get him either.
And I can't pick him up directly outside the school because it gridlocks with traffic for 15 mins at school end.

Does DH need to give up his job or should I just send DS to boarding school to keep us all safe? What a pickle to be in! 🙀

DS did safely walk 300m home from y5, let himself in and I returned with older sibling within about 5 mins. I told school, pointed out where we live and how little time he was alone and all was hunkydory because the school was sensible enough to realise that this was sensible and a normal part of developing independence.

The school OP is dealing with is acting beyond their jurisdiction. If they think that OP is negligent then they need to go through the appropriate safeguarding protocols. But they won't because it's not a safeguarding concern, and agencies like social services will laugh such timewasting off.

Just go and get her if it’s 300yds and someone is at home . If your wfh and finish at the same time then you need to manage meetings so that they don’t clash. A large proportion of our colleagues have between 3-4 as a late lunch break so we can nip out and do the school run. It would take you no more than 10 mins.

OP may not be able to do that and why should she have to if it is perfectly safe for her child to walk home by themselves.

YABU

It's school safeguarding policy, not a legal matter. Just pick her up ffs