School not letting my child from the school

[Kutika]

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

Not all ASC provision is run by outside companies.

And if they are the head is probably giving the child to someone without PR without permission.

And you can't do that!

We have a password for each child and must be informed in writing or verbally of the name of the person collecting (and relationship - including if family friend) and they must collect from the office with the password.

You can't just hand a child over to anyone if you haven't been informed they are leaving independently.

If you read the OP's posts you would see that she has said, repeatedly, that there will be someone at home. The child is not returning to an empty house.

So as soon as a parent says they want their 5yo to walk home alone. Immediately you have the info.

That maybe 8.50am or maybe when I rent doesn't turn up, you ring and then they say it.

You refer as safeguarding.

But we aren't talking about a 5yo.

Do you honestly think that teachers and headteachers have the time and capacity to make a detailed assessment to decide which children are capable of walking home by themselves, taking into account how far away they live, whether they need to cross any roads, the general safety of the area and whether the parent will actually be at home. How do they assess that you will actually be at home and are making the decision based on your child's maturity rather than because it is inconvenient to pick your child up. Trust me, there are plenty of lazy and neglectful parents out there who would let their children wander home from a much younger age. Do you not have any concerns about them or appreciate that it might be good to have some safeguarding measures in place?
Instead you seem intent on winning some sort of battle. Why do you think that safeguarding rules shouldn't apply to your child? There will always be some frustrations from some with these policies. But they are broadly right and cover a range of children in differing circumstances. You come across as rather combative and entitled.

If you read the OP's posts you would see that she has said, repeatedly, that there will be someone at home. The child is not returning to an empty house.

Precisely.

But here we have another AIBU where invent their own facts and laws just to prove that the OP is BU.

Even if she isn't!

I don’t think you’ve read them. She hasn’t said that. She started saying her husband finishes work about the same time as school. Later she claimed to have already ‘mentioned’ that he has meetings he can’t interrupt. Despite this nit being true she hasn’t gone as far as to say she or her husband are actually in the house at the time school finishes.

You either live in a dangerous area or your children are very young. It is normal for 10 year olds to be outside with their friends where I live.

Can you quote even one post where she says this?
Look at her first post.
She changes this story a bit later.
Even then she hasn’t, as far as I can see, actually said someone is there.

I started puberty when I was 10. My kids are adults. I can safely say they were absolutely fine going out alone at 10 (and younger 😱) and made it to adulthood unscathed.

What are you going to do when your child starts secondary school, take them to and from school? Do you never leave the house alone? Do you always have someone with you to protect you? How does that work when you're taking your kids to and from school? Is there always 2 adults picking them up?

They don't need to do a detailed assessment. The parents can decide. If they are not able to do that the walk home from school will probably be the least of the problems.

She did, she said her DH usually finishes work when her child gets home, he WFH. She also said her older child gets home around the same time.

"Yet, they are holding my child. The last email I received stated that if I don’t collect my child, social services will be involved"

So the school are acting reasonably here as they have advised parent they will contact the relevant authorities if their child is not collected. Clearly they have concerns about harm and are acting legally then....

Did you miss I've been collecting children from several different schools over my time as a childminder and all have been handed to an adult including any year 6 if they haven't had permission....permission can be given from summer term year 5 for children leaving at 3 any staying to clubs ending at 4.15 must be collected.
If I go for a 10 year old on a day I don't normally get them it's even questioned.
We regularly get notices saying children have been approached

I had a similar issue with school and had them release my child to another friendly parent in the playground who just let them come home alone.

Yes, I think some of these responses are from people with very young children as they sound a bit clueless.

Your DH is entitled to a break - he can use it to collect your DD

I can see why school don't want her to leave - imagine she never made it home? It's only 300 yards but she could be abducted or assaulted and the school could be held in sone way responsible for for not ensuring she was safe

From year 5 my daughter got the school bus to her school. We live in a small rural village. She was 9, 10 that December. She walked to the bus stop, got the bus to school. Got the bus back then walked home. She, and the rest of the children in the village were absolutely fine. It's been the norm for years and will continue to be.

This is exactly what she said:
No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone
Why mention the husband’s finish time if he is at home? It’s irrelevant. t the start of the thread I read this that he would arrive home just after her and I’ve not Essen anything to suggest otherwise.

If she had put the relevant information in the original post, that would save everyone time and spare me your arsey response.

She says husband and elder sibling get home around the same time. So what good reason is there for one of them not collecting the 9 year old on their way home? All of 300 yards from their front door. Unless perhaps they actually get home slightly later than the OP is implying.

I agree that the school is being very unreasonable. I had a similar issue with SD, I wanted her to walk to meet me at the bus stop as the way the buses worked meant I would have to arrive a whole hour early in order to walk to meet her at school in time, and I was heavily pregnant. It was a 10 minute walk with no roads to cross in a very safe area. They said she could not walk home alone until Year 6, even though she is an October birthday and some of the Y6s were only a couple of months older than her.

However, you can't just refuse to pick her up. DH needs to request some flexibility to pop out for 10 minutes to pick her up for now.

"She, and the rest of the children in the village were absolutely fine. It's been the norm for years and will continue to be."..

Your village is safe I guess and the governors share your confident assertion she is safe travelling alone.

The OP lives in a different area and the governors of her school assessed their risk differently...

In another post she mentions her DH WFH and has virtual meetings that he can't just drop.

Today @16:55
No, there is always someone at home. My husband finishes work around the same time, and our eldest child arrives home at a similar time, so she would never be alone.

Today @19:48
Yes, there is someone at home and the Child will not be alone

I bet they won't contact the authorities though. They know they will look pretty incompetent if the child is 9 or 10 and the parent has said they are happy for them to walk 300 m home by themselves.

@cardibach