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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do you live where you live?

172 replies

LetsRockityRock · 05/09/2024 07:22

l often wonder how people end up where they live (flat, house, country manor, city centre, rural, next to a motorway, abroad, tourist hot spot, beautiful village, run down town).

I live in a small town outside of a big city. I am from the city, met my DH who is from this small town. House prices were lower here so we got more for our money, and now I prefer small town life to city life. I couldn’t move as have DH family on the doorstep and my family not far away. My town is growing though so I pine for less traffic and more rural views.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 05/09/2024 07:23

I live between where me and DH grew up. It’s a nicer place than where we grew up, not too far from a motorway junction.

Mercedes45 · 05/09/2024 07:29

Other half is a farmer. That's about it really

RandomMess · 05/09/2024 07:30

Mid size town, similar wider area to where I grew up. Persuaded DH to relocate here, halved the mortgage, doubled the size of the house, much cleaner air, friendlier people.

He isn't close to his family or has any good friendships so there wasn't anything to leave behind.

Wwyd2025 · 05/09/2024 07:31

Moved here for DHs family. If it was my choice I wouldn't of moved here. Big mistake.

Hurdygurdy12 · 05/09/2024 07:34

Slightly rundown beautiful seaside town. Grew up near here and prices were cheap which has changed since lock down! Great friends, family nearby. People with same priorities, no one bothered bout what you wear or what car you drive. Just bloody good fun by the sea. Low wages but high living!

bornleafy · 05/09/2024 07:35

I moved here because I love the place. It was a conscious decision, I planned my life, job, everything around it when I was in my 20's (I found a job in the area so that I could be here).

Made a lot of sacrifices to get here really but I knew it was where I wanted to be.

I met my DH here and now we live together.

It's a much better quality of life than where I grew up, the people I meet are more interesting, and there is more going on.

I struggle to relate to people who just stay in the town they grew up in and don't go and explore places that might suit them better. (Most of my family are like that and live within 5 miles of where they were born).

singularcessation · 05/09/2024 07:36

Zone 2, London, small house, no garden.

I live here because I wanted to keep my amazing job and be able to walk or cycle to work and maximise my time with DC (no commute)

I am near family and have a close and strong community here.

I also have access to a lot of facilities and culture which I value a lot.

Big mortgage though!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/09/2024 07:38

Close to where dh grew up - it was a convenient place to look for a house when we first wanted to buy.

Now, we stay because it’s so convenient, everything more or less on the doorstep, very good public transport, and a lot of green space within a very short walk.

ginger2026 · 05/09/2024 07:38

I am an immigrant and went to uni in London, met my dh in uni and we married. He grew up in zone 3 nw london and was living with his mum and sisters while at uni. I moved in after we married and we started saving for a deposit. We decided to buy a flat nearby and also near good schools and which would have minimal commuting costs and this small 2 bed flat was what we could afford.

My dad offered to buy us a doer upper terraced in East London which we could live in for free but dh was very wedded to north London so we bought on our own instead with our hard saved deposit. I love where we live but accept we probably will live in flats forever to live here. Which is just as well as we have fertility problems anyway and would probably just have 1 child or none. So 2 bed flats are fine.

DrRiverSong · 05/09/2024 07:39

Middle of nowhere rural in the NE of England. We wanted an old detached house with big garden and found our place at a great price and leapt. We’d both been up here since uni, albeit in a city, so took the plunge. Love it.

it needs loads of work, but we’re doing it bit by bit

FirstTimeHomeowner · 05/09/2024 07:39

Well connected village in the Home Counties - here because we're in DMs council home as she is very ill and needs the support ATM. Before coming here we were also local because of family.

HOWEVER in the process of buying our dream home in a neighbouring small city because I've always loved it there. Atmosphere, shops available, good connection to london/airports, close enough to family without being smothered 😂

DilemmaDelilah · 05/09/2024 07:40

I was lucky enough to get a Housing Association flat when my daughter was 2. Moved to a HA house in the same area when my youngest was 10. I was in a position finally to buy my own property when I was 50 and this place came up in the same area. We had specific requirements - at least 3 bedrooms, at least 2 toilets, parking and to be next to open ground. (for the cats). This has 4 bedrooms, it had 2 bathrooms, it shares a drive so we can park right outside our front door and, best of all, it is bordered by covenanted public amenity land on one side (which is at present a steep field of bramble bushes) and designated nature reserve at the back. It is right on the edge of the city and, when we moved in, it had an excellent bus service. Also there is a local shop within easy walking distance.

We have done quite a lot of work to it since moving in, including putting in a downstairs shower room/utility and having the same flooring throughout the ground floor with no door sills, so there is no need for us ever to move. We even have nice neighbours!

Paisleydad · 05/09/2024 07:40

Job.
Divorce.
Marriage.
Divorce.
Because I just didn't want to live in a nearby new town where. I worked.
Grandchildren

In that order. Stopping here now.

Changeyourfuckingcar · 05/09/2024 07:40

My husband had just taken on a tenancy on the farm we live on now when we met, literally two weeks before. So here we are! It worked out well for me, it’s an absolutely beautiful area, and only an hour or so from where I lived before. The house is a pretty little cottage with sea views so that’s a winner too… if you ignore the damp and decrepit heating system 😂

Destiny123 · 05/09/2024 07:41

Drs have naff all say where they work for the 5y at uni 9-13y post grad training. Rank the country and get dumped somewhere every year/few yrs

TheCentreCannotHold · 05/09/2024 07:43

Affordable 'sink estate' at the time, the only area we could buy in when young professionals. Very green though and good transport links; now we love it. We could move but have put down roots and would really miss our local community. DC have friends from all sorts of backgrounds which we really value. Hence staying.

Danikm151 · 05/09/2024 07:44

Housing association offered me the property.
I don’t like the area as I grew up here but one bonus is that there are really good schools.

ChristmasFluff · 05/09/2024 07:45

I dreamed of living here since childhood, and so when my son left home, I made it happen.

devildeepbluesea · 05/09/2024 07:46

I live in a house about 40yards from my childhood home now, but have lived in lots of different places.

Im within 15mins of open countryside, city centre and beach and it’s a really great place to live. DD started comp yesterday in an excellent school so I’m here for the next 7 years at least. Although I love it here I’m not wedded to it and frequently get itchy feet, so when she’s at uni or whatever she does after school, I may well up sticks again.

the80sweregreat · 05/09/2024 07:46

Miles from where I grew up , but still the same county.
Have moved around a bit though over the years.

Rocknrollstar · 05/09/2024 07:49

We’ve lived in our house over 50 years. We bought it because a) we could just about afford it b) it was near to where DH worked and c) had good transport links so I could get to work. We stayed because because of c) and the good schools, local facilities in the area and easy access to travel North to see family. In all honesty, we stayed because I couldn’t get DH to move, and still can’t.

TheDandyLion · 05/09/2024 07:49

The rent is cheap enough that I can save for a house deposit.

TheOnlyCherryOnMyTree · 05/09/2024 07:51

We lived in a city and when our eldest was close to school age we moved toa town on the outskirts because it was cheaper and more importantly we suspected ds had ASD and the schools close to where we lived were large and a bit unsavoury and we felt he wouldnt cope. It worked out in that ds went to a lovely small primary and is now in a lovely small secondary and is doing well.

I don't particularly like it here but when I was a kid we moved a lot and I never felt like I belonged, I didnt want that for mine so we stay. It is what it is but I do sometimes wonder how things would have been now if we stuck it out in the city.

Mitsky · 05/09/2024 07:53

Couldn’t afford to buy in the part of London we were renting in and this area came up on an episode of location location location.

I’d never heard of it before that point but 7 years later and two houses that have been renovations, we really like it. Zone 3, lots of green space, easy to get to my family and to work and to airports.

Danceswithweasels · 05/09/2024 07:53

Because It was one of the few houses I could afford (auction) in a rural area. The road I live on has become more busy over the years but I know that I will not be able to move again financially or Physically.