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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petsitter left dead rabbit for us to find. (Some details may be upsetting to read)

59 replies

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 19:43

Hi - it’s a complex one so I’ll try to keep it brief. We had a small family holiday - long weekend away an hour or so away. No extended family available but we rarely go away so bit the bullet and booked a petsitting couple through an agency at humongous expense for the few days as we have a couple of cats, dogs and three (now two) rabbits.
Now the couple were lovely, and I should say I don’t think they caused the death in any way. I am aware that rabbits can go downhill quickly and luckily we have a blink cam in the front garden so could review the footage, but I didn’t do this on the three days we were away as we were getting regular ‘all’s ok’ updates from the sitters and we had explicitly asked to be informed if there were any problems.

On the Saturday he (the rabbit, not the sitter!) looked a bit quieter than usual in the footage that we watched back later, and the sitters did keep them all fed, also replenishing the water (one bottle on the wire run, one inside their hutch that they can go into freely all the time). On Sunday morning rabbit goes inside and doesn’t come back out, at all. Sitter makes a brief check later opening the door and after that visit there is no more water etc put inside, only outside in the outside water bottle where the other rabbit is hopping about. After that only the outside bottle is changed and the inside appears to have been left well alone, like they know what has happened and are leaving the dead rabbit well alone. I should say I said and wrote several times to let me know if anything at all was wrong.
We came back yesterday (Monday) morning to happy dogs and cats, and the sittters appeared to have looked after everything well. But later in the morning when I went to check the rabbits I found him dead and without going into too much detail re: rigor, flies etc it was obvious he had been dead for some time.
I feel from the footage I’ve looked at and the state he was in it is obvious that the sitter/s know but just didn’t want to tell us. I can understand that rabbits can go downhill quickly and that on Sunday a vet may not have been an option, especially as he was probably dead already, and I’m really trying to be reasonable but I really hated finding him like that - and the thought that they knew I would have wanted to be informed, but chose not to. I’m just glad neither of the kids made the discovery first.

I am thinking of letting the company know but I don’t want to be unreasonable and am not sure of my rights in this either. As I say, I’m sure they didn’t cause the death itself, it’s more about being informed and respecting my wishes in that, it really was a horrible shock…

Yabu - they did their best and clearly just wanted to avoid awkwardness, it is best left alone
Yanbu - at the least the company needs to be informed about this.

OP posts:
Lammveg · 03/09/2024 19:48

I agree with you, in both that they wanted to avoid the awkwardness but the company should still be informed. Maybe they can review processes/have conversations with the sitters to ensure that something like this doesn't happen again.

Sorry your rabbit died OP, it must have been really horrible for you to find him like that x

Edit - they also should have told you what happened of course, avoiding awkwardness shouldn't be an excuse

GoldMerchant · 03/09/2024 19:50

You're not being unreasonable. They should have checked on all the pets before they left your property. Do they say anything about handovers in T&C's?

I would say exactly what you've written here - that you don't hold them responsible but you would have anticipated they would let you know before arrival or on arrival about the death. As you say, the kids could have found the rabbit. You expected an accurate handover and you didn't get it.

I'm so sorry for the death of your pet.

comedycentral · 03/09/2024 19:50

I would speak to the company, that's really unpleasant. I'm sorry about your loss.

HolyMilkBoobiesBatman · 03/09/2024 19:50

Assuming that the rabbit was indeed dead then they were technically right to leave the body in the hutch - you are supposed to leave the body so that the other rabbits can understand they are gone so you allow the rabbits as long as they need to groom, fuss, try and rouse the one who has passed until they choose to move away. This allows any rabbits left behind the opportunity to move on. If the body is removed too soon the other rabbits will keep searching for it and possibly become depressed.

Aside from that of course you should have been informed beforehand so you could ensure your children didn’t get there first!

I wonder if th pet sitters panicked that they would be accused of harming the rabbit in some way and perhaps thought they could pretend he died after their last visit?
Did they know you had a camera?

takealettermsjones · 03/09/2024 19:51

That's shocking. Did they take your vet's details etc when you made the booking? When I've booked cat sitters they've been very clear that their threshold for seeking veterinary advice if a pet seems unwell is fairly low. It's what I would expect from a professional pet sitting company. Definitely speak to the company and ask to see their policies.

Blueberry911 · 03/09/2024 19:58

OP this is horrendous. I'd be absolutely livid that:
1 they hadn't told me
2 they had just left my pet's body to rot there

There is no compassion here for either you or your pet. I'd be going absolutely apeshit here at how this was (not) handled.

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 20:07

takealettermsjones · 03/09/2024 19:51

That's shocking. Did they take your vet's details etc when you made the booking? When I've booked cat sitters they've been very clear that their threshold for seeking veterinary advice if a pet seems unwell is fairly low. It's what I would expect from a professional pet sitting company. Definitely speak to the company and ask to see their policies.

Yes the vet details were written down for them, along with the usual feeding instructions etc and they were in the initial form the company asked us to fill in too.

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 03/09/2024 20:09

I used to run a pet boarding business and whilst I hated informing people of the demise of their beloved pet, I did it anyway (not that it happened regularly, just a couple of times over the years). I asked the owner what they wanted to do with the corpse. I would never have not told them. I think it’s disgraceful that they let you find him like that, totally unaware.

TeaGinandFags · 03/09/2024 20:15

Is it possible that the rabbit died overnight? If bunny is in rigor the chances are that death was recent. Call the vets and ask.

I had a bunny conk out on me that way once. His brother was his cage mate so became v v depressed afterwards.

Inform the company so they can talk to the sitter. Meanwhile, keep scritching the bunnies who survived as they may need physical contact to keep going.

Sorry for your loss. It's horrible.

UhHuhHuH · 03/09/2024 20:19

This must be very upsetting.

Are you suggesting the animal corpse deteriorated within 24 hours, as my experience of small animal fatalities is you’d need to be a vet to know the difference between a couple of hours and 24.

It is not possible the rabbit isolated itself as many do, as they were unwell.

Sorry I’m just not sure what you’re suggesting, it’s their fault for not putting water inside or that they didn’t tell you?

nocoolnamesleft · 03/09/2024 20:20

If rigor mortis hadn't worn off, then probably not dead for all that long. I am sorry for your loss.

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 20:24

nocoolnamesleft · 03/09/2024 20:20

If rigor mortis hadn't worn off, then probably not dead for all that long. I am sorry for your loss.

Trigger warning!
Rigor had definitely worn off, and (unpleasant to read and to think about) there was a smell, there were a lot of green bottle flies and his eyes were clouded.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 03/09/2024 20:29

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 20:24

Trigger warning!
Rigor had definitely worn off, and (unpleasant to read and to think about) there was a smell, there were a lot of green bottle flies and his eyes were clouded.

Edited

Ah. I am sorry, that must have been very unpleasant for you. And does imply longer.

DinosaurMunch · 03/09/2024 20:33

At the very least they must have seen there was something wrong even if it hadn't actually died by Sunday evening (although from what you describe it probably died Saturday night). I think it's pretty grim to leave it like that and not what you expect from a responsible pet sitter. I would make a complaint

Londonrach1 · 03/09/2024 20:33

Sorry for your loss. Certainly a chat with the pet sitters!

TransformerZ · 03/09/2024 20:43

That's disgusting.
How dare they disregard a life!
Don't pay them.
And name and shame them.
Awful people.
Sorry for your loss.

BranstonPickleAndNikNaks · 03/09/2024 20:45

WTF that is awful! I'm not a pet owner, tbh I don't actually like animals at all.
But even I wouldn't leave a dead rabbit just laid in its hutch, with other live rabbits hopping about, for its owners to discover days later. Firstly, because I assume the body could spread disease to the other rabbits, and even I wouldn't deliberately put an animal in potential harms way.
And secondly because you definitely have to be some kind of psychopath to leave a dead pet lying in the house as a horrible surprise for its owner. That is so completely lacking in any sort of empathy or social awareness of how to behave like a normal person. Completely bizarre behaviour.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this OP.

CorvusPurpureus · 03/09/2024 20:46

Yeah, that's rubbish.

I was looking after a next door neighbour's guinea pigs, years ago, & found one of them dead in the enclosure a few days before they returned.

I can't say I didn't have to steel myself to ring her (I knew she'd once kept a cat in the freezer for a year whilst she saved up for a taxidermist...so not a lady to take a dead pet lightly...😬).

She was fine - & v grateful I had tipped her off so she could break it gently to her kids on the drive home. (We agreed I would bury the poor piggy).

Super remiss of your sitters to leave you to find your rabbit like that. As you say, they were unlikely to be to blame for the death - but you were hardly not going to notice that it hadn't been after they left.

hydriotaphia · 03/09/2024 20:54

I’m sorry this happened. How upsetting. However, to give this couple the benefit of the doubt, is it not possible that when they attended although bunny may have been deceased since it was recent they may not have noticed and just thought he was asleep or hiding inside the hutch? Without the flies/smell etc I’m not sure my mind would go to dead if he was huddled up in the hutch. And if they thought he was scared and hiding then letting him be may not have been inappropriate? However, i think it is worth raising with the company that you consider he must have been dead when they attended and this was either not noticed or ignored.

caringcarer · 03/09/2024 20:55

Blueberry911 · 03/09/2024 19:58

OP this is horrendous. I'd be absolutely livid that:
1 they hadn't told me
2 they had just left my pet's body to rot there

There is no compassion here for either you or your pet. I'd be going absolutely apeshit here at how this was (not) handled.

Yep, me too. One of your DC could have seen your poor dead rabbit left rotting. Also it would not have been nice for your other rabbits to see the dead one just left there. They should have phoned you.

nosmartphone · 03/09/2024 20:59

The last visit was Sunday morning but you didn't come back til Monday morning - is that right?

Newfluff · 03/09/2024 21:00

It is actually worse if bunny was still alive, as they should have taken bunny to vets

I think it is awful. I would be taking it further.

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 03/09/2024 21:01

I am so sorry for your loss. And I am so sorry how they were left.
it just makes it harder doesn’t it?
are the others ok? It must be hard on them, as well as a risk with the flies.

I pet sat for a friend and one died on my watch. It was fucking awful telling her, you have to though. I also dealt with the body and the related stuff so they didn’t have to.

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 03/09/2024 21:01

I would definitely raise it as either way they have acted inappropriately.

They either

  1. Didn't realise the rabbit was dead in which case they neglected to put fresh water inside the cage and properly check the welfare of all animals before leaving

Or

  1. They didn't put water inside the cage as the knew the poor rabbit was dead and left it for you to find

It's one or the other-they are either neglectful of the animal or they knew and didn't inform you.

I absolutely would raise it with them, being clear you don't blame them for the death itself but their behaviour around it

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 21:02

nosmartphone · 03/09/2024 20:59

The last visit was Sunday morning but you didn't come back til Monday morning - is that right?

No, there was a visit on Monday morning before we returned, but the hutch was left alone, and only the outside water replaced, almost as though they were avoiding it (!) plus I should say they were staying in the house the whole time as well.

OP posts:
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