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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petsitter left dead rabbit for us to find. (Some details may be upsetting to read)

59 replies

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 19:43

Hi - it’s a complex one so I’ll try to keep it brief. We had a small family holiday - long weekend away an hour or so away. No extended family available but we rarely go away so bit the bullet and booked a petsitting couple through an agency at humongous expense for the few days as we have a couple of cats, dogs and three (now two) rabbits.
Now the couple were lovely, and I should say I don’t think they caused the death in any way. I am aware that rabbits can go downhill quickly and luckily we have a blink cam in the front garden so could review the footage, but I didn’t do this on the three days we were away as we were getting regular ‘all’s ok’ updates from the sitters and we had explicitly asked to be informed if there were any problems.

On the Saturday he (the rabbit, not the sitter!) looked a bit quieter than usual in the footage that we watched back later, and the sitters did keep them all fed, also replenishing the water (one bottle on the wire run, one inside their hutch that they can go into freely all the time). On Sunday morning rabbit goes inside and doesn’t come back out, at all. Sitter makes a brief check later opening the door and after that visit there is no more water etc put inside, only outside in the outside water bottle where the other rabbit is hopping about. After that only the outside bottle is changed and the inside appears to have been left well alone, like they know what has happened and are leaving the dead rabbit well alone. I should say I said and wrote several times to let me know if anything at all was wrong.
We came back yesterday (Monday) morning to happy dogs and cats, and the sittters appeared to have looked after everything well. But later in the morning when I went to check the rabbits I found him dead and without going into too much detail re: rigor, flies etc it was obvious he had been dead for some time.
I feel from the footage I’ve looked at and the state he was in it is obvious that the sitter/s know but just didn’t want to tell us. I can understand that rabbits can go downhill quickly and that on Sunday a vet may not have been an option, especially as he was probably dead already, and I’m really trying to be reasonable but I really hated finding him like that - and the thought that they knew I would have wanted to be informed, but chose not to. I’m just glad neither of the kids made the discovery first.

I am thinking of letting the company know but I don’t want to be unreasonable and am not sure of my rights in this either. As I say, I’m sure they didn’t cause the death itself, it’s more about being informed and respecting my wishes in that, it really was a horrible shock…

Yabu - they did their best and clearly just wanted to avoid awkwardness, it is best left alone
Yanbu - at the least the company needs to be informed about this.

OP posts:
Arrivapercy · 03/09/2024 21:04

My experience is that pet sitter agencies will hire anyone with a pulse. You are better off asking around for a local individual who gets word of mouth recommendations

WimpoleHat · 03/09/2024 21:04

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 03/09/2024 21:01

I would definitely raise it as either way they have acted inappropriately.

They either

  1. Didn't realise the rabbit was dead in which case they neglected to put fresh water inside the cage and properly check the welfare of all animals before leaving

Or

  1. They didn't put water inside the cage as the knew the poor rabbit was dead and left it for you to find

It's one or the other-they are either neglectful of the animal or they knew and didn't inform you.

I absolutely would raise it with them, being clear you don't blame them for the death itself but their behaviour around it

This is very well put. I think your post is well reasoned and entirely reasonable, OP - I would definitely contact the company and make them aware. As @BobVanceVanceRefridgeration says, they either knew and left it or hadn’t been paying attention if they didn’t know.

DinosaurMunch · 03/09/2024 21:07

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 03/09/2024 21:01

I would definitely raise it as either way they have acted inappropriately.

They either

  1. Didn't realise the rabbit was dead in which case they neglected to put fresh water inside the cage and properly check the welfare of all animals before leaving

Or

  1. They didn't put water inside the cage as the knew the poor rabbit was dead and left it for you to find

It's one or the other-they are either neglectful of the animal or they knew and didn't inform you.

I absolutely would raise it with them, being clear you don't blame them for the death itself but their behaviour around it

I don't think it's neglect to not change the water daily... As long as there was water in the bottle

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 03/09/2024 21:12

@DinosaurMunch They only put water inside on Saturday morning and then not again after that (and didn't look again after opening inside Sunday morning)

So they either didn't open to check the water and the welfare of the animal from Sunday morning (having only put water out once Saturday). Or they didn't check as they knew it was already dead

I have rabbits and mine need fresh water every day...but maybe I have thirsty bunnies!

Bluehotairballoon · 03/09/2024 21:16

They probably didn’t realise and thought he was asleep ? Were you suspicious beforehand that you had a camera to check on them ?

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 21:17

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 03/09/2024 21:12

@DinosaurMunch They only put water inside on Saturday morning and then not again after that (and didn't look again after opening inside Sunday morning)

So they either didn't open to check the water and the welfare of the animal from Sunday morning (having only put water out once Saturday). Or they didn't check as they knew it was already dead

I have rabbits and mine need fresh water every day...but maybe I have thirsty bunnies!

Yes, although there was a second bottle on the outside run that is attached to the hutch, and that was topped up. So he could have walked out to if he was alive and mobile, but there was no sign of him moving outside the hutch to the bottle after Sunday morning, although his friend did. And the bottle inside the hutch was empty when I got to it on Monday.

OP posts:
Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 21:25

No Bluehotairballoon, the camera is for the front door/ garden for security and is permanent. And a dead rabbit covered in flies is, I’m thinking, hard to miss and different to sleeping. Plus they avoided checking in on it towards the end, hence the water running out inside.

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 03/09/2024 21:27

Sorry about your rabbit, OP. It sounds like either they knew he had died and wanted to avoid telling you, or they didn't check on him properly for 24 hours. Either way it's pretty bad.

Truetoself · 03/09/2024 21:36

I don't know how you are even thinking about leaving it alone. So when you asked if all the pets were OK at handover, they said all was good? They have purposely deceived you. I know its a horrible position for them to be in but they are adults and should have known how to handle the situation. They could have asked the agency for advise if they didn't

mondaytosunday · 04/09/2024 00:00

Of course tell the agency! Why wouldn't you?
Also moving forward I recommend Trustedhousesitters who look after your pets for free (annual subscription of about £150). I have two dogs two cats and get people no problem.

BestZebbie · 04/09/2024 00:22

I think you need to complain because they left the dead rabbit to get into that state with another rabbit(s) shut in with him.
As people mentioned above, it is legitimate to allow a bonded pet time to grieve and see a body to process a death, but the body should then have been removed long before the stage of flies. Was the surviving rabbit(s) supposed to sleep next to the body overnight?

mjf981 · 04/09/2024 02:52

Definitely complain. This is awful behiavour on their part. I'd be so upset.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/09/2024 05:52

Mm... did they see the rabbit was dead and do nothing or did they think they saw a sleeping/resting rabbit, a water bottle that didn't need topping up and so just filled the other bottle that did need topping up, on the Sunday.

Rigor would come and go in a matter of a few hours in warm weather - flies can lay eggs and the eggs can hatch again in a very short space of time, if you're in the UK, we've had several days recently and over this summer where I'd expect to see fly eggs hatching into maggots in less than 24 hours.

So it is possible the rabbit was dead by the time you found him, for less than 24 hours and they hadn't realised.

Or as you suspect, they may have realised and panicked and didn't want to tell you - perhaps they've previously had a horrid experience with someones pet passing perfectly naturally and the owner reacting extremely badly! Or, maybe they are actually dickheads.

I'd speak to the company and ask if they did in fact know, for your own peace of mind really.

TealPoet · 04/09/2024 05:56

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear pet. Of course they should have told you, and you need to tell the company if you can face it. It’s heartbreaking that they wouldn’t say anything.

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 04/09/2024 06:21

Really sorry for your loss.

Wow that's shocking.

I'd definitely inform the company. Its really bad that they left them for you to find. What if you're children had.

Serendipity12 · 04/09/2024 07:31

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. It’s helped give me some perspective and I’ll contact the company today to point out what happened - hopefully the same thing won’t happen to someone else later on. In a funny way I also think I owe it to the rabbit to do that at least!

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 04/09/2024 07:38

Yes I'd agree you need to raise this with the company - if just to avoid it happening in the future and someone's children finding their pet dead. I'm very sorry.

LittleMG · 04/09/2024 07:42

You went on holiday and left your pets with a sitter, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume they should all be alive when you get home! And vets are an option on a Sunday they should have taken him to a vet if he looked ill, that’s the idea of a pet sitter!

LaLoba · 04/09/2024 07:43

Serendipity12 · 03/09/2024 20:24

Trigger warning!
Rigor had definitely worn off, and (unpleasant to read and to think about) there was a smell, there were a lot of green bottle flies and his eyes were clouded.

Edited

That’s horribly upsetting for you, and completely unacceptable for a paid pet sitter. I would definitely be complaining, and if the company didn’t take it seriously would be writing some honest one star reviews on Trust Pilot, Google reviews etc.
So sorry you’ve come home to this OP. I have rabbits and wouldn’t blame my pet sitter for a sudden death, but leaving the body like that is awful.

SphinxOfBlackQuartz · 04/09/2024 07:44

I would say the absolutely bare minimum to be expected from a pet sitter is to hand back alive animals or tell you why not.

Yes I would tell the company. It's bloody appalling they would not tell you and ask what you wanted them to do re the body and instead leave it for you to discover.

That's just cruel.

Humdingerydoo · 04/09/2024 07:49

They were there to care for your pets. Do you think it was in the other bunnies best interest to be in a hutch with a dead animal? It obviously wasn't, so they therefore didn't care adequately for your pets. I would complain.

ultraviolet4753 · 04/09/2024 07:50

That's awful, I'm so sorry.
Poor rabbits who were in there with their dead friend, flies and all. Must have been awful. Even worse, they were staying in the house and not just visiting, so had time to do something.
Did they know you had cameras?

When I was a kid we looked after a friends rabbit when they were on holiday, he sadly died. I still feel terrible to this day even though it wasn't anything we did. It was pre- Internet, I can't remember if they asked to be phoned or not, but we would have definitely done so if that was the instruction. We most certainly would not have just left it in the cage for them to find!
Please tell the company, this is terrible.

charlieinthehaystack · 04/09/2024 07:58

As someone who runs a very long established pet sitting and dog walking service may I comment?
firstly the care seems very brief; for rabbits we always check the beds, add fresh hay if bed seems flattened or eaten or clean them out, we always spend a considerable time getting to know the rabbits so hopefully can spot any who have changed in behaviour etc, if the worst happens we would contact the owner straight away. if they require us to bury the animal as we have done so the children would not be upset by seeing it, or if they prefer to do it themselves, cremate it etc we would carefully wrap it up and put it somewhere safe. we have had to do with budgies and a guinea pig but thats all. if someone booked daily visits and we had any doubts about health we would go back to keep checking without cost to the owner. we cannot think of anything worse then coming home after hopefully a good break and finding this situation.
sending a big hug

Soontobe60 · 04/09/2024 08:07

At the end of the day, you really don’t know if the sitter had noticed the rabbit was dead or not. You’re just making assumptions.

SphinxOfBlackQuartz · 04/09/2024 08:23

Soontobe60 · 04/09/2024 08:07

At the end of the day, you really don’t know if the sitter had noticed the rabbit was dead or not. You’re just making assumptions.

So then, why didn't they look at it or give it fresh water for over 24 hours?

Either way, the company needs to know that something has gone very wrong here, that a sitter staying at the OPs house to look after her pets seems to have been in charge of a rabbit that deceased some hours before the OP returned. Either knowingly or unknowingly.

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