To think it's just me that doesn't want the 6 weeks to end !

[seasonalnamepending]

Reading on here and on various other different social media platforms has me thinking that I am quite alone in not wanting my child to go back to school tomorrow.
I have absolutely loved the summer holidays - it's my first one after the first year in reception, and I just don't want her to go back!
I'm going to really miss her!
All I saw before the summer holidays was parents saying how much they were dreading it, and midway through saying they were counting down the days until September..
And now, all I am seeing is posts and videos of parents joking about how they will be at the gates early, practically shoving their children through the gates and skipping home afterwards.
It makes me quite sad. Why have children if you don't want to spend time with them??

Anyone else going to miss the time they get with their children during the holidays ?

Why would you have that many?

Its the third week back for us, and yeah, still missing the holidays, especially as our oldest is nine so it won’t be too long until he doesn’t want to spend most of the holidays with us.

Well knock me down with the worlds smallest feather. Woman who doesn’t work and has 1 NT, well behaved child enjoys the summer holidays more than those of us juggling multiple kids and full time work, where even a 3 day trip to Cornwall had leave refused (yep, that’s us!).

Any more pearls of wisdom for us inept, loveless mothers?

So the only parents you’re referring to are the ones who are SAHPs with tons of spare cash to do fun things in the holidays? Bit niche.

I love DD. I love spending time with her. But yes I bloody love it when we have the routine of school. She’s happier, I’m happier, and the time I get to spend with her is better quality because I’m not juggling work at the same time. It’s great. The holidays are fun but 9 weeks of them are a struggle.

I can see both (or several?) sides of this.

If you’ve got the time off with them throughout, live somewhere nice where you can have easy days out/ let children play outdoors, or the money to entertain easily (or children who like doing at home things) it can be wonderful.

If you’re trying to work at home whilst children rattle about the house - either due to no holiday clubs in the area or no money to pay for it - it can be hell on earth. Almost as bad as Covid lockdowns (although at least no requirement to home school at the same time).

My situation is that my exh has half the holidays, and I take as much a/l as I can in my half. I often book holiday clubs for the remaining few days to a week, but my parents actually asked to have the 10 yo during that time, and my older one was on an exchange.

So the time I had off with them was absolutely lovely, and the rest I didn’t have them. I realise I’m extremely “lucky” (or perhaps have very specific circumstances, as it’s not exactly lucky to always not see your kids for a big chunk of the holidays, I miss them), and not everyone could do the same.

Another way of saying - yes I really like the holidays but only if I’m off work!

Then you’re talking about an incredibly niche set of parents then. Regardless, anyone is allowed to have feelings about something they find difficult. And finding school holidays a challenge for whatever reason doesn’t mean that some me shouldn’t have had children.

Children will also go through different phases where they are less content be off school and out of routine. We don’t struggle being working parents – we have a nanny housekeeper and enough money for activities. We have been abroad, to Legoland, day trips to London, farms, parks, national trusts, play dates – you name it. We have filled their time and given them adequate chill out downtime. But they have generally been out of sorts and not content with being off school which they vocalise to us, which makes them disregulate easier, crabby and squabble with each other.

Is someone not allowed to find that challenging? Does that window of the year mean I shouldn’t have had kids?

If you are NOT one of those parents that sits there, complaining about their children, saying how annoying they are, saying that you can't wait for the holidays to end, and that you can't stand half terms when your children are off, this does NOT apply to you

You don't know what everyone is dealing with in their life though, so if you can't be kind then be quiet. Because all you're doing is digging yourself into a bigger whole demonstrating your naivety to real world life for many parents.

A lot of the people I see are absolutely not well off at all. There are some that are, granted. But there are people like this out there, and they have no shame in it

I do think my DS needs to go back to school before he forgets everything he ever learned though 😂

And to see his friends - between one thing and another he hasn’t spent much time at home so only saw school friends on three days of the holidays!

It makes me quite sad. Why have children if you don't want to spend time with them??

You didn't put your numerous disclaimers in your op, because you didn't think beyond your own, very narrow, view of the world.

I would have a lot more respect for you if you just admitted your post was tone deaf, and makes you look like a bit of an arsehole rather than try to backtrack with "oh but I didn't mean you" every other post.

I used to feel like this every year except this one. My DC1 behaviour has been awful and being hit, kicked, bitten daily because routine has been disrupted isn't joyful and everyone (GP/CAHMS) said to me to wait until they were back at school to get support. I am elated they are back at school and I'm finally getting one person to take me seriously. I've also juggled work and lots of other personal issues.

I'm very pleased you've enjoyed your summer with your DC but try and imagine why others may not enjoy it as much as you.

It really wasn't my intention, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry to those I've offended. This was not meant to provoke an argument, I just felt very alone in how I was feeling about back to school, amongst other posts on social media.
I know I am not alone, and I now know how I should have better worded my post to avoid upset and conflict.
Apologies

I am sad but also glad. My little one has complex disabilities and is total dependent on adults for absolutely everything, he can't sit unaided, he doesn't walk or talk, he can't even hold or play with a toy, he's often awake from before midnight and only naps for around an hour in the morning. I won't lie, school is respite sometimes.

Maybe we need some time to ourselves?

I certainly do, but I will still miss the holidays. I prefer it when it is like this. No rush around every morning, nothing to necessarily remember, no tight schedules and times we have to be in certain places etc.

It’s fine, I’m just feeling super sensitive about how difficult our summer has been and feeling like a bit of a crap mum for finding my dd so difficult.

We’re all struggling with something aren’t we. I hope things get better for you and you’re able to sort out some work x

Fine. Maybe I’ve just never come across these swathes of school holiday hating, rich, stay-at-home-parents of NT DC. Who made you the person to police their feelings and tell them they shouldn’t have bothered to have DC? There may be many factors you haven’t considered.

You don’t have any rush any morning OP, you don’t work. What tight schedules do you have bar a school run? I’m not being mean but the self awareness is really lacking here. If I had 1 child and the school run was the only hard commitment of the day, I would feel like I was at a 5* resort in Antigua.

Well I think I will leave it here for now.
If you are offended, I sincerely apologise.
I have tried to explain my point of view, my understanding and update my initial intent and aim of this post.
I have given you a bit more of my life to put things into perspective as some had gotten me totally wrong.
But still, I seem to have started an argument, and for that I am sorry.

One thing you haven't thought of is the toddlers missing toddler groups which are on only in term time. My youngest really needs them again.

In the nicest way you only have one. Two might make you change your tone.

One little girl at home is going to be MUCH easier than two or more. And a whole bunch of other factors!

Nooo! 2 kids with SEN and a tiny house and garden. It’s felt claustrophobic and relentless. We had a family holiday in the first week which was great but wish we didn’t take it so early, would have been more ideal mid-way through. I need the routine of school runs and pick ups! I only work p/t so get the benefit of enjoying the break when they are at school.

If I had a bigger house with lots of living space and a nice garden, a car and able to make lots of plans to see people/do things (both kids can be very hard work out and about) then I would definitely love it.

No the holidays are to long and stressful trying to cover childcare and cost of activities and extra food

@seasonalnamepending I didn't read that you were privileged OP - in fact I imagined quite the opposite . I've got a friend who is genuinely a really lovely person but she doesn't get why some of us don't have all the time in the world for cheap weeks camping in funky summer camp type of places at the coast , loads of time for park picnics in the day etc- this is because she does about 8 hours a week work, ( and isn't really hassled to do more either) gets all her rent paid, full UC entitlement and a really good amount of monthly child maintenance on top- would she seem privileged- ? not really if you met , HA flat etc - but she has way more disposable cash than many of the partnered up Mums I know and an absolute ton more time- so yes, she loves the holidays. - and I guess in her own way she is privileged- but wouldn't see it. I think the problem is many mums simply aren't in a position for having not to worry about work and care , or for it to be an option , short of divorcing or leaving their partners ( and then other issues like housing may become an issue or too many assets to be able to claim ) and so they muddle through as well as they can and hence it's easy for a post to seem a bit smug when I'm sure you didn't intend it that way.

I’m the same. Hate the school run, i
dint like school taking over our lives. Rushing around, plus my SEN child gets tired and overwhelmed. I actually wish all the holidays were longer. The summer one is the only holidays I really think they get to
fully wind down and relax.