She should be provided with an alternative education

[mychilddeservesaneducation]

(NC in case this is outing with links to previous posts).

DD is about to start year 10. Due to trauma relating to bullying, she's been refusing school for almost a year (she has panic attacks and can't cope with being in lessons / corridors / assembly halls etc). When this first started, we asked the school to consider allowing her to work in a small room or something but they refused. It's normal timetable or punishment for 'truancy' (even if she's in school they count it as 'internal truancy' if she doesn't turn up to a lesson, which happened frequently as she was hiding in the toilets crying as she was too scared to go in).

She's basically had no education since almost this time last year, except a few workbooks at home that we've bought. School won't set work if she's not in school, they won't offer small group teaching if she is in school and for the last term, we stopped sending her in as the stress and punishments were making her severe anxiety worse. Their line is she needs to be in school and in lessons and if she's not, it's an unauthorised absence. We've been threatened with court for her poor attendance.

We've had limited support from an attendance key-worker and have tried a phased return to school a few times but failed as she just panics. The GP hasn't been able to help much and CAHMS refused a referral request. We've paid for some private counselling but can't afford to continue.

After so long, should the school (or council?) not be offering an alternative education for her like online tutoring or pupil referral unit (not sure if this is appropriate to her needs)? The school will just not help at all. We cannot afford online schooling and DH and I have to work full time to pay the bills, so home Ed would be difficult too. I'm so stuck as to where to turn and any advice will be much appreciated.

Yes. Speak to lea officer dealing with kids missing school

Dd attended small group sessions then hospital school as day pupil.

Ask what the options are

Various f b groups eg not fine in school

www.gov.uk/government/publications/children-missing-education

Is there any other school, smaller, better with SEN/additional needs etc that you could move her to? Do you think a different environment might help, rather than the one where the bullying has happened?

She's been traumatised by their failure in their duty of care to her. The bullying was under their supervision.
They couldn't provide her a safe and happy environment for her to manage, let alone thrive - I certainly wouldn't hold out any hope for them making special provisions at this point.
Sorry your daughters been through this, the school sounds awful. To now punish her for their failures too? They should count their lucky stars this didn't end in tragedy. Bullying ends lives.

We're very tied due to transport issues. We live rurally and LEA will only provide transport to the school she's currently at. There's no public bus and we can't afford a taxi (would be £40 a day). DH and I would struggle to drive her to / from another school due to work commitments.

Thank you - this is very helpful.

Yes. You've written exactly how I feel. Sadly at least two children from the same school have ended their lives in the past year.

Oh that's awful!

Have the removed the bullies?

@carrotcard - no!

Unacceptable I'm so so sorry

Could you consider online school like Minerva or Kings' Interhigh?

Unfortunately we cannot afford the fees.

I think you're a bit stuck then!

Sounds like you've no choice but to try to pressurise the school a bit.

Firstly, has DD ever had a needs' assessment? First step towards an EHCP. Takes ages but at least there's a procedure to follow.

Have you had a meeting with school recently to discuss reintegration?

What options are there for college? Some will let you attend from 14 I think.

Would a managed move be something to consider?

"Not Fine In School" is a useful website.

www.annafreud.org/resources/schools-and-colleges/school-attendance-and-mental-wellbeing/ this resource could be useful.

I'm not suggesting you get into debt, but is there no way you could manage the fees for these online schools for the two years - remortgage, loan, any relatives that might help even a little?

Can she not move to another secondary school?

www.nahe.org.uk/support-advice/ some useful links on here - the Dfes "Arranging education for children with health needs" could be relevant if she's had any hospital admissions

With things that bad I would be moving school, and home and jobs if necessary. Things are unlikely to improve so you need to take action and protect your daughter

natspec.org.uk/colleges/search/ alternative education providers (some will need an EHCP to access); searchable by area.

If you're rural you may luck out with a country-based organisation that's suitable. You may be surprised what's available. Places like this don't advertise much.

Not really. We wouldn't get accepted for this amount of finance - it's several thousand per year (plus exam fees etc.) so not a small amount.

So:

Re the GP, if she is having panic attacks then medication like propanalol or diazepam might help. Even if the GP isn't willing to prescribe (and she is young) then get the diagnosis on her record.

PRU is unlikely to be appropriate for someone with anxiety related mh issues. They tend to be full of boys with semh and major behavioural issues. She will not benefit from being exposed to violence. In addition most are full.

Some FE colleges run year 10 and 11 programmes that are aimed at previously home educated kids or kids that have missed out on education due to illness. They usually do English x2, maths, double science. It may be worth looking to see if there is a programme like that anywhere near you.

There are often other places students can go - the standard solution is usually to try another school as there are fewer triggers there for the student.

I'm not sure how this would work though I f you literally cannot get her anywhere but her current school and can't afford any kind of online school.

I’m so sorry, OP. Good luck xx https://notfineinschool.co.uk

There's a Facebook group called not fine in school or similar for parents of children with emotionally based school avoidance. Might be worth a look there for advice.

Sounds like you need an EHCP to get funding, support and possibly more time for her to complete her education, and I think this would be easier if you had a diagnosis- possibly of trauma. You’ll have to go private for this. It might be one to work with an OT or psychologist, the anxiety means she has SEN, this needs addressing. There’s an organisation called send family instincts that might be a good starting place, also as others have said Not Fine In School. good luck, school sounds absolutely shocking.

Have you considered home educating? I mean, without online high schools.

Not that you should have to obviously.

To be honest in this situation id probably be thinking about moving house? I mean this isn't a small thing is it. Your child hasn't really been in school for a year. If the issue was caused by bullying then a new school could be the solution and your daughter is at a pretty critical point in her education? Is there no way at all you can make a school move happen?