She should be provided with an alternative education

[mychilddeservesaneducation]

(NC in case this is outing with links to previous posts).

DD is about to start year 10. Due to trauma relating to bullying, she's been refusing school for almost a year (she has panic attacks and can't cope with being in lessons / corridors / assembly halls etc). When this first started, we asked the school to consider allowing her to work in a small room or something but they refused. It's normal timetable or punishment for 'truancy' (even if she's in school they count it as 'internal truancy' if she doesn't turn up to a lesson, which happened frequently as she was hiding in the toilets crying as she was too scared to go in).

She's basically had no education since almost this time last year, except a few workbooks at home that we've bought. School won't set work if she's not in school, they won't offer small group teaching if she is in school and for the last term, we stopped sending her in as the stress and punishments were making her severe anxiety worse. Their line is she needs to be in school and in lessons and if she's not, it's an unauthorised absence. We've been threatened with court for her poor attendance.

We've had limited support from an attendance key-worker and have tried a phased return to school a few times but failed as she just panics. The GP hasn't been able to help much and CAHMS refused a referral request. We've paid for some private counselling but can't afford to continue.

After so long, should the school (or council?) not be offering an alternative education for her like online tutoring or pupil referral unit (not sure if this is appropriate to her needs)? The school will just not help at all. We cannot afford online schooling and DH and I have to work full time to pay the bills, so home Ed would be difficult too. I'm so stuck as to where to turn and any advice will be much appreciated.

I have a daughter the exact same age, starting Y10, in a very similar situation. She was bullied in Y8/start of Y9 and became too anxious to attend school, resulting in months of trying to get her in, various half-hearted attempts to help by the school, but ultimately led to threats of fines and a huge amount of stress for our family.

We tried another school, but that didn’t work out as her self-esteem had been damaged by her previous school, so in the end we deregistered her and are home educating. It’s not perfect and not what I imagined for her, but she’s recovering from the trauma of being in school and starting to make plans for the future.

Do you think your daughter would work at home on her own, or in the evenings and weekends with you? I know you said you can’t afford an online school but there are other options. You could have a look at £2 Tuition Hub on Facebook - they have a large range of classes including GCSEs/IGCSEs, both recorded and live lessons. There are lots of other online courses/providers - some with live lessons, some recorded, some self-paced. Some of these are much more affordable than the big online schools, but it’s a case of finding something your child will engage with. There is also lots of free stuff out there, including YouTube.

You don’t have to do as many GCSEs as she would have done at school and there are subjects you can do that aren’t usually available at school. Many home educators just do as many GCSEs as their child needs for the next stage - so some just do maths and English as they are needed for level 2 college courses, others do 6 subjects to allow entry to 6th form or college for A levels. You do also have to pay for exams, which can be as much as £250 per subject, so that’s worth bearing in mind.

I sometimes wonder whether we should have pushed the school and LA harder, but I felt like we were running out of time with Y10 approaching, so we are doing (probably) 7 IGCSEs from home using a range of online providers, which will hopefully leave the door open for whatever she wants to do next.

If you’re considering home ed, have a look at these Facebook groups:

HEFA (home education for all)
Home Education Exams and Alternatives

Feel free to PM me if you want any more info about course providers etc - happy to help as I know how lonely this situation feels.

Home education is a huge undertaking though and the law is actually on your side here OP. The trouble is that it isn’t always implemented :(

Sharp elbows are essential. Get used to quoting the law and statutory guidance at anyone who will listen.

Look at the big picture here.

First - her mental health is far, far, FAR more important than getting GCSEs at this stage. She can study later on, part-time, evenings, at college, there are options. It does not all have to be done in one go at the end of year 11.

DON'T send her back to that dreadful school.

What was the plan for after year 11? Does the school have a sixth form or would she be travelling to college?
If she can get to a college - ask them about what provision they can offer for under-16s; many colleges have a course.

If there is no college that she can travel to, she will have to home-educate.

Does she know what area she want to work in? Forget getting a big fistful of GCSEs, think about what she needs to learn to do A' levels, BTEC, Apprenticeship, or whatever her next step would be. Involve her in researching her post-16 options, then plan accordingly.

Once she is over the worst of the mental health crisis and motivated by thinking about her future, she can teach herself on-line and from textbooks - if she is at all academic she should be able to do this. Your role would be to buy the text books (if needed) and revision guides, and just prompt and encourage, not teach the material.
If she is not academic and would struggle to self-teach, ease her into the world of work with a part-time job as soon as possible, with the goal of getting an apprenticeship eventually.

The school has misinformed you.

Don’t electively home educate. Under section 19 of the Education Act 1996, the LA has a duty to ensure compulsory school age DC unable to attend school still receive a suitable full-time education. This should have begun a long time ago. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use to request this provision. But if you EHE the LA is likely to say you are making suitable alternative arrangements thereby relieving them of their duty to provide provision.

Alongside this, request an EHCNA. IPSEA also has a letter for this. The benefit of an EHCP is it can include far more support, including therapies, than DC would otherwise receive and far more than most parents can fund. Although you may have to appeal.

Neither s.19 provison or EHCPs require a diagnosis or the school to agree.

You should also check what the absences are being recorded as.

This! I’m horrified for your poor daughter and for you and disgusted by their attitude (but sadly not surprised). She’s definitely better out of that situation though - even a little bit of learning you can encourage at home is vastly superior to the trauma and bullying of the school. Even if it means it takes a bit of extra time she can get good education. Please don’t stop fighting for her however hard it is. She needs you. Sending hugs.

Would a local college accept her for English and Maths.

This really doesn’t seem like the type of school that is worried about safeguarding children.

I seriously doubt that.

While I am very sympathetic to the OP's position, the situation from the school's point of view might look rather different.

Schools simply don't have the staff to have people circulating to find teenagers roaming the corridors or hiding in the loo and anxiety is (sadly) suffered by a great many DC these days.

Solving it all takes paperwork and sharp elbows, as a pp said.

@EndlessLight is 100% correct here.

good luck OP.

A GP won’t prescribe such meds to a child. A specialist consultant might prescribe Fluoxetine

Have you got any colleges near you that do the 14-16 option, they do the English and Maths GCSE and a vocational. I know it does not sound like a lot but it seems your DD has had such a gap in her education, this may be beneficial to her.
I removed my daughter due to unresolved bullying this year (she was over half way through year 10)
We got to the point that I felt the school could no longer keep her safe, she had stopped talking and was literally terrified of going in.
I did do King's Interhigh for a term (my mum helped us - it is absolutely extortionate, I agree with you) tbh it didn't work for my DD, she already is waiting on an ASD diagnosis and being at home on her own all day and struggling to focus online was too much for her.
We have just started her at a local college, first day today, she made friends with some girls during the inductions etc and they kept in contact all summer and she is like a different child.
Don't get me wrong it isn't where I thought I would be at this stage and I am angry that she was so let down but she is happy and thriving.

Whilst you have my sympathise and the situation must be very difficult, it is also not an easy fix.
There are many, many students like you DC and sadly they take up a massive amount of resource which often the school don't have.

Ultimately the crux of it is:

1. Your daughter needs to receive an education
2. The current school environment is very challenging for her
3. There is no quick fix. You're DC has to accept support and understand that the school has confines which they have to work within. Conversly the school should have a support plan in place.
4. Students can not just wander corridors/hide in toilets as this is a huge safeguarding issue.
5. Your DC has likely missed huge amounts of learning which is going to exacerbate anxiety around going into lessons. Them not going in further compounds the problem.
6. Places at alternative provision are like hens teeth (certainly round our area) and they are expensive.
7. It doesn't sound like you'd be able to transport your dc to other schools so even if there were an option, you wouldn't be able to get them there?

If I were in your situation I would think very strongly about what outcome you want from this and the work out a path to achieving this alongside the school and your DC. If it were my DC I would be requesting a clear plan with specific goals in place. I would request a modified timetable initially. I would be wanting a designated key person and a safe space where they can access if they feel overwhelmed. I would want them to access counselling through school and wellbeing/nurture support to help them build resilience and manage feelings of anxiety. This needs to be a two way process though and you, and your DC, need to be on board with the end goal of getting them into lessons.

Sorry for all the typos!

There’s 2 perspectives here.

1. you as her parent, who would move heaven and earth for her, and see no measure as too much/expensive to give her what she needs

2. the struggling school system which currently is overwhelmed by children with varying levels of ‘need’, and is facing record numbers of SEN and school refusing pupils, where implementing a tailored system for every individual pupil simply isn’t financially possible or realistic.

I feel like nobody considers part 2 any more - we’ve all slipped into a mindset of ‘I need X, why can’t I have it’.

She is entitled to an education. Speak to IPSEA. This might help enquire.org.uk/parents/attendance/missing-school-due-to-anxiety/

www.redballoonlearner.org/

I'm not sure if this has been posted but Red Balloon will give you advice. They have an online school for learners who cannot access their centres in person.

They are excellent.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation OP. I have a DD the same age (just starting year 10) who has missed big chunks of school since starting secondary due to extreme anxiety. She hasn't been in school since Christmas.

Our experience has been very different though. School have been very supportive and once it became clear back in the spring that she wasn't going to be able to get back to school anytime soom, they referred her to our LA who put in place a total of 7 hours weekly 1-2-1 online tutoring across the core subjects, all arranged within a week. There is frequent communication between us, the school and the LA, and the school are always open to trying whatever we suggest in terms of trying to support her back into school, including her coming in just for break time and lunchtime from time to time to see her friends.

I hope that we will be able to get back into the classroom over the next year, but the school and LA have reassured us that the online tuition can continue all the way through to GCSEs of needed (and they will up the hours next year) and that they will provide her with a private room for her exams if needed.

It is still and utterly shit situation and my heart breaks daily for my DD. But reading some of the responses here I'm very grateful for what we have.

She doesn't have an EHCP btw, this was all put in place off the back of how she was presenting in school coupled with me filling in the gaps. The school knows she has had both NHS and private support but they haven't required any formal evidence or diagnosis.

I really hope you find a way to get your DD the support she deserves.

Section 19 of the education act 1996 says that all children not in school for whatever reason, should be provided with alternative provision. The local authority will likely try to wriggle out of this. I had to go to the Local Government Ombudsman to get mine to do it. But your first step is to write to Head of Children's services to request this.

Make sure you email in any absences as off sick for mental health reasons, and ensure its being logged as illness. They have to log as illness unless they have reason to.doubt the voracity of it, in which case they should inform you and request details from Go. Try again with camhs. Go back to gp and explain she cannot attend school due to her mental health difficulties so at very least it's logged in her notes. Also write to the school and say they are not meeting her needs and suggest she needs a formal plan of action (ie and Additional Needs Plan).

Notfineinschool is great. Also join local SEN or EHCP Facebook pages. Other parents who have been there are so helpful at guiding others. Work fast, put everything in writing. And don't be afraid to make official complaints. I also recommend IPSEA for advice.

Personally I would also write to my MP and county councillors, especially in light of the suicides and bullying issues.

So what's she doing whilst you are both at work Op?

Why did CAMHS refuse referral? I'm a SENDCO and that's highly unusual. I don't think ever had one refused. Did they give you a reason @mychilddeservesaneducation ?

Surely you need to change schools if the bullies are that bad, you need to move if you can't work out transportation

I would contact a local martial arts school and explain the circumstances and ask if they would consider her doing a term at a reduced rate. Doing martial arts is wonderful for confidence as the person learns how to stand etc in authoritive confident way which deters bullies. We did this for my cleaners son who was being bullied (like an evil kid put a plastic bag over his head type of bulling) and it was wonderful for his confidence.
Do you think maybe it’s better she stops down a year to a new cohort of kids?
concentrate on maths and English

Surely the best option would try and find another school so she can thrive and make some friends? Does she have friends or do anything else where she meets people like a sport? I'd be concerned about this aspect if she's not socialising as being isolated will surely just make her anxiety worse

I'm not in the UK but don't they have correspondence schools? There used to be such a thing where I am called School of the Air for rural kids that live hundreds of Ks from a school where you attend phone-in lessons and online/email/ zoom etc. Correspondence school also called Distance Education. Same thing as above. That you are threatened with court is horrific.

I think you need to go back to your GP and have him/her write a letter specifically outlining the seriousness of the issue and that your daughter is AT RISK OF SUICIDE. It needs to be spelled out in the strongest, and I mean fugging STRONGEST possible terms. Just saying 'anxiety' is far too weak. That means absolutely nothing, considering every single high school child has anxiety. She has severe/major Depression. Major Depressive Disorder. Suicide Ideation. Etc. That, is what needs to be said. Not 'anxiety'. GP needs to state she is on Suicide Watch. And you need to contact the school and say that you are withdrawing her and doing homeschooling. Send a copy/copies of all this including GP letters to the school and notify the school you are sending them to SS and to your local Member of Parliament. And that if the school continues to harass you, you will go to the media. They won't want the bad publicity.

Can you get the GP to provide a report saying your daughter is unable to go into school for mental health reasons? If so, send a copy to the council and ask them to make arrangements immediately for education other than at school (EOTAS) under section 19 Education Act 1996. If they don't do it, or try to fob you off with 5 hours a week, threaten judicial review and consult SOS SEN who have a scheme under which they send pre=action letters without charge. https://sossen.org.uk/about/jr-initiative-the-pap-project/