She should be provided with an alternative education

[mychilddeservesaneducation]

(NC in case this is outing with links to previous posts).

DD is about to start year 10. Due to trauma relating to bullying, she's been refusing school for almost a year (she has panic attacks and can't cope with being in lessons / corridors / assembly halls etc). When this first started, we asked the school to consider allowing her to work in a small room or something but they refused. It's normal timetable or punishment for 'truancy' (even if she's in school they count it as 'internal truancy' if she doesn't turn up to a lesson, which happened frequently as she was hiding in the toilets crying as she was too scared to go in).

She's basically had no education since almost this time last year, except a few workbooks at home that we've bought. School won't set work if she's not in school, they won't offer small group teaching if she is in school and for the last term, we stopped sending her in as the stress and punishments were making her severe anxiety worse. Their line is she needs to be in school and in lessons and if she's not, it's an unauthorised absence. We've been threatened with court for her poor attendance.

We've had limited support from an attendance key-worker and have tried a phased return to school a few times but failed as she just panics. The GP hasn't been able to help much and CAHMS refused a referral request. We've paid for some private counselling but can't afford to continue.

After so long, should the school (or council?) not be offering an alternative education for her like online tutoring or pupil referral unit (not sure if this is appropriate to her needs)? The school will just not help at all. We cannot afford online schooling and DH and I have to work full time to pay the bills, so home Ed would be difficult too. I'm so stuck as to where to turn and any advice will be much appreciated.

But the right to an education that meets needs for a child coming within the s20 Children and Families Act 2014 definition of SEN - which OP's child does - is the CFA.

The specific legislation covering alternative provision providing a suitable, full-time education for those unable to attend school (whether that is for SEN related reasons where DC meet the definition of having SEN set out in section 20 of the Children and Families Act 2014 or not) is still section 19 of the Education Act 1996. If you look at IPSEA and SOSSEN’s websites you would see this.

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken time to respond. I'm so sorry for those of you who are also experiencing the same. It's shit.
I cannot thank you enough for all the help you've given me here and for pointing me in the direction of where to seek further help. I have been in touch with our LA today and hopefully this will be the start of a new beginning for DD. Although I'm under no illusion that this will be straightforward to achieve, I have my pointy elbows ready and willing!
Thank you again.

You've had lots of good advice, but given the length of time this has been ongoing, and the effects on her education, and the evidence build up you have, and that she has a diagnosis: alongside sharpening your elbows and dealing with the LA, I would suggest taking on the hell that is a DLA application for her. There is a clear need and a clear set of things that financial support could help alleviate.

It should not be the case that someone should be bullied to the point their mental health is so badly affected they can no longer access their education, but that is where she is.

It's painful and time consuming, and another battle, and you may not be successful, but if you are, it will at least give you some sort of an education/MH budget towards trying to help her while all the rest is ongoing.

Perhaps you are replying to someone else @Blueybanditbingochilli as I haven’t written anything about ‘no harm.’ I work in this area and know of what I speak. You can take a look at some of the recent research if you need to.

@mychilddeservesaneducation I am glad you’re feeling energised and have your pointy elbows ready! Very best of luck to you and your DD.

Op what did the LA say. Too often school try to wiggle out of their responsibilities

They'll respond in due course (I think legally that should be within 5 days).

Coming from a teacher, this school sounds terrible. They should have pastoral people who can work with her, part time timetable to phase her back in, or let her work in learning support with work from teachers. Can she move schools, not alternative provision, just a nicer mainstream!

I was questioning your ability to make a sweeping statement about a child’s mental health without assessing them. So perhaps the “ wow” should be redirected to yourself. The op state wher child has anxiety , has experienced bullying but nowhere does she state her child has suicidal thoughts. What she did say was two other children had suicided. We have absolutely no idea what attributed in those cases.
mots a huge jump from school refusal and anxiety to suicide.
In answer to your question about what I would suggest, as a very experienced mental health clinician I offer no direct advice on a child I have not assessed and neither should you. You very unhelpfully diagnosed this child with other conditions.
I did not suggest she done nothing as you put it.
You have escalated a situation you have only been given little bits of information on.
would you really take advice from total strangers on the internet?

Not to be harsh, but I can't believe your daughter has now missed out on school for a year, stop wasting time and just change her school. A half hour commute isn't that bad. Given all her issues, home-schooling etc will probably make her anxiety worse. She should be socialising with other children her age. How is she going to cope as an adult if she is isolated from other people? Don't get me wrong it's terrible she has been bullied, but all this stress and dragging things out is probably not helping her or you to move on

Place marking for the morning op as I’m exhausted but going through very similar with dd (year 9)

Not much advice OP but this must be incredibly stressful for you and your daughter.

If I was in that situation, I would probably take her out of school and let her self educate with the huge resources available online / books. She's obviously not going to learn at school if the poor girl is constantly in the toilets upset.

Only issue would be paying for her gcses.

I hope your LA get their shit together and the school sounds absolutely terrible.

I think you are being unreasonable, only because its a different school, doesn't mean she will suddenly start socialising with other children, she's obviously got trauma.

It's like saying if you have a serious accident in a car, just get a new one and crack on! That's not how it works.

I'm not saying she doesn't, but this way she's got no chance of trying to rebuild and make friends and the longer it goes on the worse it will be

There are over 800,000 children currently missing school for non medical reasons. There is zero hope of providing them all with the level of service expected on here because there are so many of them now and there are no resources to do it. Threatening judicial review all over the place seems to have become the knee jerk reaction for almost everything.

Agree. And a lot of the responses to threads like this are an indicator as to why we have councils literally going bankrupt - school transport for kids with tricky needs in rural areas has been cited as one of the biggest factors behind this.

The OP needs to facilitate some sort of schooling here - either move, or find a way to drive her daughter to another school (which might mean one parent has to talk with work and find a way to accommodate this), or find a way to finance online schooling (which might mean downsizing something, selling something, taking on extra weekend work). Her daughter needs to be in school of some kind, and it’s already been a year.

would you really take advice from total strangers on the internet?

What is the purpose of this thread then?

What is the purpose of mumsnet, why do people post on mumsnet asking for advice from total strangers?

Did you even think that bit through, before posting? You realise you ARE on a site designed for people to ask strangers for advice, yeah? smh 🤔🙄 We're all offering help and advice to the best of our ability. So please back off with your attacks and judgements and bullying and leave me alone if you have nothing worthwhile to add to this thread, and go sit in judgement of yourself instead.

I dont think you've been very proactive to be honest in supporting your daughter so why should the school bother?
Did you consider a private tutor, home schooling? Therapy at least?

Have you explored where there are any bursaries for kids with MH issues from families on low income? Or compassionate grounds?

Any grants available? - not just LA - any private grants - as in people have left funds after death for the benefit of young people in the area (or some such)

Can't your GP refer to CAMHs if your dd is having suicidal thoughts?

@mychilddeservesaneducation have a read of these documents about what school should be doing to support you. I'm sorry for you and your DD that they are being so shit.

hsm.manchester.gov.uk/kb5/manchester/directory/advice.page?id=17Mj5WlOnyE

My DD is not having suicidal thoughts. She was been referred to CAMHS but the referral was rejected (they're completely overwhelmed and so I believe are only able to take on the most serious cases).

Not everyone can afford those things, unfortunately. I've already explained that we don't have the finances for private tutors, online school etc. DH and I have to work full time to pay the bills so unstructured home education would be a last resort as DD would be home alone each day and I'm not sure she'd be motivated enough to do her work.
We are paying for a private counsellor and just about manage to afford this with some sacrifices.
We literally have the tiniest amount of disposable income once the bills are paid each month. Not everyone on Mumsnet is well off.

Try writing to your MP, the Director of Education, your local councillors and anyone else who could intercede on her behalf. Your daughter has a legal right to an education and the school has failed spectacularly in their duty of care. They need to have clear plans to safeguard her or the LEA needs to offer alternative provision.

It’s very clear that the school is terrible and isn’t going to support your child. You can’t continue sending her in if she’s that traumatised by bullying. You said there are no other schools in your area and you can’t afford transport, so it sounds like home schooling is your only choice.

Kings Interhigh is £6000 a year. You might have to get credit card debt or get a personal loan or remortgage to pay for it for two years. You might have to switch jobs and work from home so you can be there to motivate your child to engage with school.

Alternatively you may find that taxis to another school will work out cheaper once you factor in not having to change jobs.

What you can’t do is just sit there letting your child have no schooling, because basically you want someone else to sort it out and pay for it. Yes I know they’re supposed to, but they aren’t and won’t.

Who educates her though if she not doing online and presumably op can’t afford to pay for tutors either?