Friend should pay me back?

[sneezethemoment]

There was a discounted spa deal for two people and so I paid and friend said she’d pay me back.

Then she got asked to go on holiday and said she couldn’t make it anymore, but she’d still pay and I should take someone else. I asked a different friend, we went, had a nice time.

Original friend came back from holiday and said she’s not paying me back and should get the money off the person who went.

Friend 1 is a complete dick.

Saying she won't now pay is deplorable. I couldn't come back from this. She is no friend.

If this was written differently I'm sure there would be a lot less people suggesting friend 2 should pay.

Imagine friend 2 wrote it:
"I was recently invited to a spa day with a friend. I wouldn't usually be able to afford it but she said it was already paid for and I could go along for free as another friend had cancelled.
Now that I've been to the spa, I'm being asked to pay my friend back. I can't afford it and wouldn't have gone if I'd known, what do I do?"

Obviously friend 2 shouldn't be asked to pay after the fact for what they were informed was a free trip to the spa! I wouldn't even let them know this was happening as I wouldn't want them paying out of guilt!

You certainly shouldn't be paying. I think if the other friend went she should pay. But first friend was still out of order cancelling

This.

Friend 1 should not have said she would pay for someone else to go.

Friend 2 shouldn't have accepted a freebie. I'd always offer to pay in those circumstances as I'd had the value of the treatments. Or at least make a good contribution.

Are you ok???

My opinion is DIFFERENT to yours

You think friend 1 should pay, i think the friend who went should pay

It really is not that much of a big deal !!!
I really do not care

Have a lovely day 🌵

I think it's really weird and wonder if there's a miss understanding as in "of course I will pay" so you don't end up paying the whole cost and the second part was of course invite someone to fill the place else if you can meaning she can't ask someone you don't know.

Did Friend 2 go on the basis that it was a free holiday? Would she have paid to go (or can she afford to)?

Was there a misunderstanding, and did friend 1 assume that if you took someone else, then they would pay?

Could friend 1 and 2 split holiday cost 50:50?

Just to clarify there was never a throught or intention of me ever asking friend 2 to pay, I offered it up as a spare place.

Friend 1 has said she’ll pay after I confronted her, as of yet no money has been transferred over.

Are some people ok? Is the OP difficult for people to understand or?

Your friend isn’t being unreasonable.

If you couldn’t fill the place then yes she why have paid. But you did fill the place so it’s for the new person to pay it. It’s weird if the old friend pays and someone enjoys a spa day on her 🤣

I agree with this. The place was filled. Why should friend one pay for somebody else's day out. Not on.

OP, you've been perfectly clear, but there are always some who either can't understand or choose not to (because they enjoy stirring the pot).

I hope Friend 1 realises she's in the wrong and pays what she owes you!

Because she said she would pay?

She said to find someone else law to go and she would still pay.

I'm assuming the substitute friend went as it was going free as OPs friend said she would pay. To me that's the difference. The alternative would have been OP go and friend would lose her money? It's actually quite rude of the friend. I wouldn't said can you see if someone else can go in my place, but if not I'll pay for it. Unless she's a great friend, I'd actually phase her out or at least never pay for anything again.

Good update OP, I hope she follows through. She needs to learn not to give false assurances and also be less flaky.

A friend of mine booked a weekend trip with her boyfriend at the time. I don’t know who paid for what but by the time the trip came around they’d split up and she asked me instead. I offered to pay and she turned it down and said I could come for free.

Had she turned around later and said I had to pay and why did I think I could have a free trip etc, I’d have been annoyed because she’d have reneged on her earlier promise.

Different situation but the point is you don’t go back on your agreement. It’s that simple.

Your right op. Friend 1 needs to pay as it was booked with her. It would be unfair to ask friend 2 when this was offered as a free space. If she doesn't pay I'd be wary of the friendship going forward

There are some weird takes on this and it's really simple.

Friend 1 said SHE WOULD PAY and to take someone else in her place. Because she said this -

Friend 2 was offered a free spa trip, asking friend 2 to now pay because friend 1 is being a twat and trying to go back on what she said would be ridiculous.

Whether you get the money back or not OP, time to ditch this 'friend'.

The 2nd friend may have gone on the basis that it was a freebie, if so you can't ask her to pay now.
Friend 1 should pay really if that was the agreement

It just seems really odd for friend A to say "I will pay for a friend to take my place" and more logical for friend A to say, " look I will pay my place so you're not out of pocket, try and get someone else" meaning if you get something else then they can pay you back.
OP obviously thought Friend A was going to pay her back regardless, but unless friend A is completely loaded it just sounds completely very unusual and seems a misunderstanding.

Person 1 should have paid at the time however I wouldn’t have offered it free to person 2, I would have given them at a reduced price to get some money back for it, rather than it going to waste.

as a friend I also wouldn’t have pulled out of paying in the first place but I also wouldn’t have accepted it for free as friend number 2 did.

Original friend should have said “if you can get someone else to go see if they can cover the costs, if not I will pay”

Original plan was to go with friend.
OP might not want to go alone.
Original friend had committed to pay, and should not back out.
Had OP managed to recoup all or any if original friend’s costs, that would have been a bonus for OF.

OP: yes, she should pay.

But the point is it wasn't a freebie. Only a freebie because op decided that the first friend would pay for the second friend to have a free spa day. Not on IMHO.

Where are you getting that from? OP said: "she got asked to go on holiday and said she couldn’t make it anymore, but she’d still pay and I should take someone else" and she's repeatedly clarified that first friend said she'd pay, not that OP decided it.

I’m with you @sneezethemoment

Last year, I had theatre tickets booked with a group of friends. I had to pull out on the day due to illness. Very unlike me to do so.

Luckily, one of my friends was able to invite a friend of hers along in my place. She checked with me before asking and I was happy that the ticket wasn’t going to waste. I had already paid the ticket and would never have asked nor accepted any money for the ticket.

Your first friend agreed to go, changed her mind and assured you that she would still pay. If she couldn’t actually pay, she should have asked you at the time to sell her half of the day. 2nd friend went along as it was a freebie. I would give 1st friend a wide berth from now on.