To not want dp to go on stupid stag do

[Blipitydoo]

He goes on Wednesday. He went on a “lads holiday” last year and pretty much ignored me while he was there. Also found some texts between his mates saying how many “fit women” there was there. Childish

Sorry but it's pretty daft to stay with someone whose behaviour is only good because their mates aren't inviting them out!!!!

He's not going to change, you're not compatible. Dump!

I don't think it's worth worrying that he'll cheat...like a pp said, he could cheat in his lunch hour.

In terms of resentment...what's he like ordinarily. Does he pull his weight? Help with the kids? Can you go out or go away with friends for the weekend too?

It's not really the time to say there's an issue, you should have said that when he booked it. He can cheat anywhere if he's going to

Yabu, he's allowed to go on a stag do.

Either trust him, or don't. Being on a stag do makes no difference if he wanted to cheat there is plenty of opportunity to.

You just sound jealous tbh, which is understandable. Get your girlfriends together and book a break for you.

So there’s no specific reason as to why I don’t want him to go. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him, apart from the strip club and “fit women” comment but I know that this wouldn’t bother some people.

We got together at 17, both 29 now. When we first met and even up to I’d say 3 years ago, he’d absolutely decline any invitation to a lads holiday or stag do. That would be his choice by the way. I feel like over night he’s changed.

If you were both 17 when you got together and he hasn't had any holidays with mates, big nights out, etc as an adult perhaps he feels that he's missed out on something. That doesn't mean he's going to cheat though. I think it just needs an honest conversation.

It is always "only because everyone else did!" - don't forget he is someone else's everyone else!!!

I think this is a recipe for resentment for both sides tbh. Not a good situation.

How old are your DC? Maybe 3 years ago he felt they were old enough for him to go away.

DH and I generally only send a brief daily text when one of us is away. We appreciate that the one away is having time off from parenting.

@MinnieMountain 8 and 3.5yo. One has severe autism

I would like time off from parenting😁

Book time off then? Go for a spa weekend or a girls holiday? Only fair

YABU.

An untrustworthy man will be so, home or abroad. You can't hold him hostage to prevent him doing Lord knows what.

YABU. It's fine to be miffed and jealous, but the solution is that you also book a few days away.

You were together from a very young age. It’s understandable that he would change in that time. Let him go and have fun, he will only resent you if you don’t. If he is someone who would cheat he can do that anywhere. Make sure you take some time for yourself when he gets home.

@userid81 I nearly didn’t but he kept apologising and sent me flowers then I felt bad

Nope that's all I got!!!!!!!!🤣

@Meatwallet abroad

I would be happy for my husband to go away with his friends, because we have a strong relationship and I trust him and I like to think that he's enjoying himself. Of course he's always happy for me to go away with my female friends too.

If I was feeling the way you are about it, I think I would be questioning the whole relationship.

Not sure why PPs are suggesting you should LTB (other than because that’s what people suggest on MN). Can’t see he has done that much wrong from what you have said. You definitely need / deserve your own break from parenting though!