Getting myself in a state about 2yo speech delay

[bluesacalling]

I’m spiralling this evening and just want some hand holding. My 2y 3m old is a happy, cheeky, energetic, funny boy and is meeting all other milestones but is struggling with his speech.

We are seeing a private speech therapist and are seeing some slow progress, but he particularly struggles with making certain sounds and refuses to imitate sounds/words which makes me think it’s something more than a speech delay. Speech therapist doesn’t suspect ASD (he’s very communicative in other ways and points, shows/brings me things and will look at me for reactions etc) but is concerned about his lack of muscle movement around his mouth (doesn’t purse his lips to kiss, can’t blow bubbles etc) and now I’ve gone down a Google rabbit hole of verbal dyspraxia and I’m spiralling.

Not even sure why I’m posting on here, I’ve heard countless of stories from people whose child/grandchild/nephew/friend/Einstein didn’t speak until they were 3 etc and all of a sudden had a speech explosion. But something in me just can’t imagine this happening with my son and I don’t know why. I’ve recently had a second baby so my hormones/emotions are admittedly all over the place and I’m absolutely exhausted so maybe this explains a lot. I just want to stop being an anxious, worrisome mess and help my boy 😔

Have you had his hearing checked?

Even if you think it's fine, it might be worth double checking. I imagine at that age the GP will be more than happy to refer based on the speech delay (DD2 was referred at about 22 months because she had no words).

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace Thank you for your reply!

I forgot to add that he has been diagnosed with glue ear in both ears but he passed his hearing test so audiology said this was unlikely to be causing his speech delay. Although hearing test was in summer so we have another one booked for December to see if there is any fluctuation.

Does he have a dummy or suck his thumb? That can cause weaker mouth muscles

@InTheRainOnATrain He does have a dummy but only for sleeping. He doesn’t have it in the day. Although I guess sleeping is half the day…

Are you speaking two languages at home.
Bilingual children are late speakers.

I remember being in your shoes and not being able to imagine hearing DS say a sentence. He got there in his own time though. What he needed was practice but because we (and nursery) were putting well-meaning pressure on him to speak, he just clammed up and would go for weeks without saying anything.

Two things helped - learning some simple poems/books by heart (Bear Hunt and Gruffalo were two favourites) because he was happier just speaking the words to himself or acting out the poems with his toys and also starting school. Being in a new environment with no expectations on him and nobody who had been trying to get him to speak for the last year allowed him to become his own person and find his voice.

My son (2ys 6mths) also had glue ear that cleared. Only I got told it very much impacted his speech because until it cleared he couldn't make "sharper" sounds because he simply couldn't hear them as he was growing. Which in my mind is obvious as it's during those first 2 years they are listening and picking up speech so if your DS couldn't hear properly for glue ear then of course it impacted his speech! It's odd they would say differently for your DS.

Our boy is on a speech and language course through the health visiting service in line with nursery. At home he have some large picture cards and try and sit with him and go through them, only 4 at a time til he gets them. I also bought small ones with a little device he can put them in himself and it's speaks the words out loud to him (I'll find it and link it here).

Remember, he will be learning almost from scratch if he couldn't hear properly before. It will take time but with therapy and help at home he will get there. Patience and persistence is key.

Does he make animal sounds? So many kids I met who were just a bit delayed didn't speak but they did all seem to make animal sounds.

I'm not an expert at all but my son was one of those who hardly spoke until maybe 2 1/2. I looked at a video at his 2nd birthday recently where he is just pointing to things. Meanwhile my daughter exploded in her speech just ahead of 2 and 1 month after 2 puts words together. It could be something if your speech therapist is concerned but do try to keep in mind there's no point really worrying when he's still just a little way past his 2nd birthday and it's relatively common for them not to be talking then. You might have more cause when you know it is a problem (maybe very close to 3 from what I've experienced since they mostly all are talking by then).

Can I give you another story about a late talker / slow developer? He's now 11 and oh my God he does not stop!!!! Lots of input from Speech and Language over the years including sound production (which was awful) but totally fine now except a slight issue with l in the middle of words.

I've been where you are and know what it's like. Please don't completely panic, hard as it is, because it's amazing what can be done through early identification and intervention.

Wishing you and your dc all the best.

my dd was like this 30 years ago in her case it likely was verbal dysphraxia but doesn't stop her talking now lol and she is now a primary school teacher! He will be fine I know easier said than done but try not to worry she had problems sucking through a straw and delayed sound whistling etc etc but she got there in the endx

Oh yes, I remember goggling how to teach your child to suck through a straw! Great website - otmum if I remember correctly.

amzn.eu/d/cfUTxM2

This one! He absolutely loves it and even plays with it independently of us at times.

My son was a late talker. He just listened to everything. He never shouts up now so don’t panic. He don’t really start speaking much until almost three.

*shuts

My eldest didn't speak till 3 except maybe , 5 words
2nd from young
3rd from really young but not clear
4th 2.5

*didn’t 😱

NHS advice on helping your child to talk is to aim to not use a dummy after age 12m: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/play-and-learning/help-your-baby-learn-to-talk/ so definitely stop that. Otherwise just make sure you talk to him most of the time you're together (even if it's just "look there's a yellow bus", "shall we go to the library?", ie don't spend all your time on your phone - sure you don't but it's noticeable how parents talk less to their kids these days due to phones. What about singing? Can you get him to join in with some nursery rhymes etc, whether it's at home or at something like RhymeTime - some kids will sing more words than they will say.

DS hardly talked until his sister started school when he was 2.5 (she talked a lot and so he didn't get much chance!) but when he did, he went from almost nothing to full sentences immediately. (Unfortunately he has selective mutism, so speaking outside the home is a constant issue, but that's anxiety causing him not to be able to speak rather than a physical or intellectual reason.)

Hey OP,
I saw your reply about glue ear. My son had it in both ears and had same issues as your son. He was seen by SALT and they said until grommets are done there's not much more they can do as the sounds are all muffled etc so no progress can be made. My son couldn't speak or hear and then ended up with repetitive ear infections from age 2-3. In the end he was having ear infections every week that antibiotics didn't stop.
He had grommets done and adenoids out at 3 1/2yrs old privately after the NHS well and truly screwed us over with every excuse in the book they could think of and delay after delay.
As soon as my son had his surgery he could instantly hear and smell and taste properly so it was extremely overwhelming for him. Some noises even now are. A year on his speech has basically caught up and now he is obsessed with numberblocks, alphablocks and starting school next week.
Keep pushing for help for him. Youre doing amazing. I had a newborn going through all this with my son and hormones definitely didn't help but keep going. You're doing a fab job and be kind to yourself 🫂

Op don't stress just try and use stragety.

How was he fed?

DS and I did some research when he was about a year into language and relationship between feeding. Basically babies that are spoon fed don’t develop develop their oral muscles as quickly as babies who are fed less soft food and have to chew more. So they do get there (obv) but often they seem delayed compared to peers.

My son had severe speech problems. He did a year in mainstream school before moving to a speech and language unit. It did him the world of good. He's nearly 13 now and has been back in mainstream for years. He's bright and has no other problems. He still struggles with some words. I know how hard it it. Also, look at claiming DLA, which might help with the cost towards the private speech and language cost. I know its a worry, and it's hard when everyone around them of their age seems to be so different. I learnt not to compare in the end. He will get there. He just needs the early intervention he seems to be getting?

As a parent of a child a nearly 12yo boy that had speech delay OP, and subsequently a diagnosis of Verbal dyspraxia (the same condition that Chris Kamara has) I’d say trust your gut.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your child, however, explore all avenues- referral to ENT, possible glue ear, cleft pallet, get the roof of their mouth checked for hole, tongue tie.
there’s lots of good groups on Facebook for speech delayed children- Mikeys wish, apraxia, dyspraxia are a couple.
good luck.

@Gummybear23 just the one language at home unfortunately!

@HolidaySwears I’m pinning my hopes on it being the glue ear (SALT think it’s a factor) but doesn’t help that audiology are telling me it’s not! My main concern is that he won’t attempt to even copy a word. Just shakes his head at me. I know I shouldn’t force it, and we are seeing some progress with the techniques SALT have given us, just not quick enough for my liking!

@RickiRaccoon he has a handful of animal noises - cow, monkey, duck, tiger/lion/dinosaur (all the same sound!), sometimes sheep. He loves nursery rhymes and doing the actions (on his terms) and likes doing puzzles, matching colours etc.

@abbs1 ENT have said they would only consider grommets if he was displaying moderate hearing loss but he passed the last test (and this was a private ENT appointment) I’m going to see how he tests in the winter and if he is displaying some loss then I will pursue grommets. Thank you for your kind words.

@PandaOrLion he was breastfed and we did baby leg weaning, very little spoon feeding.

@Alwaystired23 I’m finding the comparison the hardest, seeing other similar age children chatting away and having conversations. Makes me feel so sad for my boy even though I am doing all I can for him it doesn’t feel enough.

@Sammyk85 he has glue ear which is being monitored, although apparently no hearing loss. He had tongue tie snipped as a baby and the practitioner at the time said he had a high palate. I told ENT all this but they weren’t particularly interested and said he was a boy and to just continue SALT if I was concerned…

Where about are you based? We didn’t really get any help towards a diagnosis or speech until infants school and it was by chance he had a sessions with a private school salt where she mentioned dyspraxia- we were then referred to the Nuffield hospital (London) who have some of the best consultants in (UK/Europe) specialising in VD and speech delay, however I believe the referral process has changed.

We are just north of London. Our therapist is part of the Nuffield Dyspraxia Programme so hopefully she is best placed to help us. We’ve been seeing her every six weeks and have a session next week so will ask more then.