Getting myself in a state about 2yo speech delay

[bluesacalling]

I’m spiralling this evening and just want some hand holding. My 2y 3m old is a happy, cheeky, energetic, funny boy and is meeting all other milestones but is struggling with his speech.

We are seeing a private speech therapist and are seeing some slow progress, but he particularly struggles with making certain sounds and refuses to imitate sounds/words which makes me think it’s something more than a speech delay. Speech therapist doesn’t suspect ASD (he’s very communicative in other ways and points, shows/brings me things and will look at me for reactions etc) but is concerned about his lack of muscle movement around his mouth (doesn’t purse his lips to kiss, can’t blow bubbles etc) and now I’ve gone down a Google rabbit hole of verbal dyspraxia and I’m spiralling.

Not even sure why I’m posting on here, I’ve heard countless of stories from people whose child/grandchild/nephew/friend/Einstein didn’t speak until they were 3 etc and all of a sudden had a speech explosion. But something in me just can’t imagine this happening with my son and I don’t know why. I’ve recently had a second baby so my hormones/emotions are admittedly all over the place and I’m absolutely exhausted so maybe this explains a lot. I just want to stop being an anxious, worrisome mess and help my boy 😔

Definitely keep going with the speech therapy. As much as you can. My child was speaking by 4 but very poorly. Ended up in a Speech and language unit which was the best place for them. Now back in mainstream and no speech issues but is diagnosed ASC. Very academic . Chats away happily. They always understood everything but struggled to make the correct sounds. Try not to worry - a good speech therapist will really make the difference.

My son was behind in speech, but now at four he's caught up. I know that's just an anecdote, but thought I'd mention it fwiw. Speech therapy will probably help him, and sometimes kids show a sudden burst of improvement mixed in with plateaus.

It's completely natural to worry, as a mum. Children develop at different rates and it may well be possible that your son is having hearing difficulties. Equally, he may just be taking a bit longer - my eldest didn't start talking properly until he was 3 and you couldn't stop him after that! He's now a happy, confident adult. Another of my boys had a tracheostomy for his first 2.5 years, and didn't say anything. Once the trach was out though, literally within months he was speaking in coherent sentences. Keep on with audiology and see how you go. The most important thing is that your son is loved and happy - and it sounds like he has a super supportive mum to fight his corner. Hope all goes well. X

Ds1 didn't put two words together until well after he was three, he went from single words, to conversations in a week.

He never crawled, he went from nothing to walking in a weekend when he was almost 2.

You're doing the right thing getting things checked, but some children just do things differently.

He's due to take his GCSE's this time and is predicted all 8/9's, he has no additional needs.

DS2 hit all his milestones on the early side, he's equally bright, with a diagnosis of ADHD.

Hi OP, please push for the grommets. I was just referred on Thursday for my nearly 3 year old to get grommets. Dr at ENT said they cut a hole in the eardrum to get the fluid out and this is the most important part. She said the fluid can make the hearing all distorted. I'm so shocked they aren't even considering it. My son had glue ear and kept saying his ear wasn't working and couldn't hear. I know its an operation but this will help him so much I promise. Also glue ear for more than 3 months can do damage to the ears. Thinking of you

Hi OP.
Lots of wise advice on this thread.
I will add some anecdotal reassurance: my youngest was completely unable to make recognisable words at 5 yrs old. No one could explain why. It was when she went to school and suddenly developed an urgent need to communicate with people outside her immediate family that it all fell into place. By 6 yrs old we had absolutely no worries. She's now a tweenage chatterbox.

My son was very similar except our specialist was adamant the glue ear was a problem. She said the prime cause of a speech delay was a hearing problem. He got grommets and had some minor speech therapy. He is a medical student now.

Glue ear fluctuates - it can wax and wane. Sometimes a child can hear well enough to hear somewhat but not well enough to form their own sounds. My son was treated very quickly because we went privately - within abot 10 days of comprehensively failing the audiology test - but in the meantime I was told to get down to his level and have him face me when I was talking.

I did a little experiment and standing behind him so he couldnt see my lips offered him a chocolate bar. He loved chocolate and very rarely got. There was absolutely no response and we realised he had been largely lipreading.

I've been in your shoes. My daughter was pretty much the same at 2 years old and was still under SALT up until the end of key stage 1. By the time she got to year 3, she caught up in all areas and now is in set 1 for every lesson in high school. I vividly remember crying on many occasion because all I wanted to hear was mummy. That came when she was 4 years old.

@Newmummy343 @Cleargemlikeflame I am hoping that it’s glue ear so that it’s something that is treatable. But I saw a private ENT consultant who said they wouldn’t operate on under 3s unless he was failing hearing tests. He passed his last test but it was in the summer time so I’ve read this can often happen with glue ear so have pushed for a test in winter. Meanwhile all I can do is keep on with the speech therapy and work I’m doing at home with him but last night I think I just felt so despondent from not seeing a massive improvement. I need to be more patient; both with him and myself.

@AtouchOfCloth thank you 🙏🏼 that’s exactly how I feel. All I want to hear is a proper ‘mummy’

Get a second ENT opinion. You are within your rights to have another one. You know him best and if you feel something isn't right keep asking the professionals the questions. Children will vary though and my nephew didn't really say much till he was 3.5yrs old. Now nearly 6 and chats alot.

My son got grommets at 13 months old. The watch and wait period is 3 months - he had fluctuating tests for 6 months - some passed/some failed. I was so scared I was putting him under GA and they would find nothing there. But I had to rule out it was a hearing problem. Following the surgery the surgeon said we 100% made the right decision, his glue ear was so thick and there was so much of it, it would never have cleared by itself. It was a huge risk we took as nobody wants to put their child through surgery but without doing that, I couldn't be sure if it was a hearing issue or something else. Winter time it is likely to be much worse which sounds like you already know. I joined NDCS and had some calls with an audiologist who was so helpful and explained the tests so I knew what they all meant before any consultant appointments. My son also had a temporary hearing aid prior to the surgery and we did see improvement with it which added to my thoughts that it was his ears.

My son babbled nonsense until he was 3 and then started nursery and it all started coming together from there.

I have twins and dtd2 didn’t speak until over 2 years although she walked before dtd1, who was chatty. We went to see the health visitor and as we walked in the door dtd2 started speaking in sentences and hv thought I’d muddled the identities twins as dtd1 said nothing. Good to check him out but I wouldn’t stress yet.

Thank you! I’m going to speak to the NDCS next week as I’m a member of their glue ear Facebook group which is super helpful.

That’s interesting that your son passed hearing tests too despite having glue ear. He had flat lines on the tympanogram back in June and then last week, so he definitely has fluid in there which isn’t shifting. I have a history of ear problems so I’m hoping its that and not something more serious.

I would add understanding is more important than speech that's what we were told so if they can understand simple instructions like bring me your shoes etc then no worries and speech will come
someone with verbal dysplasia will have week mouth muscles this gives them something called delayed sound where they say the wrong sound at the beginning of words so for example for ages my daughter would say yem for them or at for that etc etc I could understand every word at the time when I look back at old videos now I can't understand a word!!

to add my son didn't say anything until he was 2 years 8 months but was very switched on and always understood everything you said within weeks he was speaking in full sentences

Thank you! This sounds exactly like my son, he’s very switched on and understands what is being said to him and can follow instructions. He probably has about 20 words but uses them quite inconsistently. Speech therapist said he is very good at getting what he wants without speaking so he hasn’t quite grasped the ‘power’ that comes with speaking!

My eldest was soooooooo slow to speak. Like at all. Barely made noises that sounded like words and wasn’t even much of a babbler when little. But could follow instructions so you knew they understood you. Honestly they were nearly 3 by the time they did much talking at all.

they are now an incredible chatty, articulate and funny child. We get comments on how good their vocabulary is all the time. It was very slow and then like something just clicked all of a sudden and fell into place. (And no, no evidence of ASD)

I always wondered if was because of being quite quick to walk… they never needed to learn to ask for things because they just got it themself!

It really is possible to have fluid in the middle ear and still have hearing "satisfactory for speech". Hearing levels do fluctuate with glue ear but ENT will be very reluctant to do grommets on a child who has hearing within normal limits. It is not risk-free. It's a GA and cutting into the ear drum risks infection and scarring.

If there is a suggestion that hearing is being affected, ask whether audiology would consider a bone conduction hearing device. This is a hearing aid which bypasses the glue, transmitting sound through the temporal bone direct to the cochlea. It works whatever the level of glue and there is no down side to them - except getting the child to keep it on. Not all hospitals are as proactive in providing them - especially as there is no clinical evidence of hearing loss in your case - but they might respond positively to a direct request.

My daughter (now nearly 5) had very few words until 3. She’s had glue ear but with moderate hearing loss’ and grommets privately. I raised concerns from about 18 months and I was right so trust your gut. Her Speech is still a bit unclear / disordered but she talks constantly (I honestly never thought she would!) and I understand everything and no other areas of concerns. We have an nhs SALT now who is great but I’d say more useful now on focussing on specific sounds. When she was younger the SALT mostly focussed on trying to get her to talk and I didn’t find it overly beneficial as I think we did mostly of the things naturally.

My advice, try and get any support you can and at least get on nhs waiting lists. Google ‘home of can do’ - it might be a helpful resource. Easier said than done but try not to compare or worry. Makaton helped us for communication and my nursery got me on a free course through the local authority which was great. My daughter who is the best problem solver now and I think it’s in part because she had to be as she couldn’t communicate her needs.

good luck!

I had speech therapy when I was about 4 (uggy baggy saggy war= humpty dumpty sat on a wall) and now I'm a teacher doing a masters, they will be fine!

My daughter had speech delay but they weren't actually concerned until she was around five, at your son's age it's very very normal. Hers turned out to be linked to dyslexia.

Thank you very much for the advice. ENT did say it was likely that he’s had fluctuating hearing since the winter which was the time when his speech should have been developing which could be a reason for his delay. I’d be happy to try a hearing device but I can’t imagine him keeping it on for a second…

We had a very late speaker - at age 2 he passed his hearing test so we started speech therapy - but I wasn't convinced about the results of the hearing test ( even at the time) but it took another 9 months to get another hearing test and this time he failed dismally and when he eventually saw the ENT doctor he said it was the worst case he had ever seen of fluid build up in his ears and he started talking with in a week of recovery from the op - so sometimes it's worth double checking the hearing

I think k it's a it early to worry about it. None of mine e had more than 6 words by the time they were 2.5 and it made o difference to their lives. They were fine by school. Apparently I couldn't talk at all before my 3rd birthday but could read well before i started school