Only taking 9 months mat leave?

[Pinkturtles]

AIBU for this? I thought it would be the norm but most people I’ve chatted to with babies have taken at least 10 months or a full year.

DH is taking months 10 and 11 as shared leave and we already had a month together when DS was born which is taken from the shared leave. The main reason is financial as he will be getting full salary in these months whereas I would be getting £0.

Did you go back at 9 months? I’m worried people will judge me for being a rubbish mum.

Not everyone even takes the 9 months My DD2 was back when the baby was 4.5 months.

This was her choice not through financial need. She did not like being at home full time

Which bit is illegal. I know you are supposed to have a fortnight off as a minimum after birth but can't see anything illegal on what you quoted

Yes agree.

This entirely. My best friend planned 9 months and went back after 4 months for her own sanity. I thought I would take 6 months but decided to take a career break and took 5 years until my daughter went to school (I was very lucky to be able to afford to)

Neither of use are shit mums as neither of use are great mums 😂 we do the best we can for our families.

I went back to work 4 days a week when DC was just about turning 9 months old. I would have rather have taken longer but I was the breadwinner even though in a not-far-above min wage job as my DH was a FT student (on a long terms/placement vocational PG course so not one that he could have worked alongside). I didn't have a choice basically, finances dictated it, but it was absolutely fine. I had PND and it improved so much once I'd returned to work and was completely gone within a few months of returning. DC1 went to nursery 3 days a week and my DM cared for her once a week.

With DC2 it was a bit more complicated as I changed jobs whilst on leave. They started nursery 3 days a week at 10 months but I wasn't fully back to work until about a month later and I had dropped down to 3 days a week too. It was fine and I managed to get a lot of admin, deep cleaning etc done in those few weeks before I was properly back at work so that was useful too.

With DC3 I have no idea what we are doing yet tbh as looking to take SPL with my DH but both of our employers have no idea what they're doing. Bit stressful as they're due in October. I've just given notice that I'm planning to take the full 12 months leave for now as I know we can change it with a couple of months later down the line. Ideally we are thinking I will take approx 6 months ML, then RTW whilst DH takes approx 3 months SPL and then I will go off again to take the remaining 3 months as SPL. But depends how much DH will get paid as his employer still won't confirm.

My advice would be to go back when you want to and don’t explain yourself too much. Just do what is best for your family and don’t get into discussions about what everybody else thinks.

I did it because I'm a secondary school teacher so I didn't want to return in the middle of the autumn term.

Also, I needed the money! No shared leave then.

I was an older mum (40) and in my 30s colleagues were only getting 18 weeks. People forget how much more generous it's got.

Google “compulsory maternity leave”

I'd think 9 months is a pretty common time to go back, since maternity pay only lasts that long. A bit of time before the birth plus accrued annual leave tagged on would put you about then.

Hi OP

For my eldest, I took one year of leave and for me personally, it was too long. My MH was in tatters and I was really struggling.

This time I am taking 8 months and my husband is taking 2 months SPL. Suits us all much better!

I just did. And as I previously said its 2 weeks after birth

Employees do not have to take their full maternity leave. But they must take at least the first 2 weeks following the birth. This period is known as compulsory maternity leave. If they work in a factory, they must take at least the first 4 weeks following the birth.30 Jul 2024

OP you might be totally ready to swap when the time comes! Dont second guess it and don't worry.

9 weeks here! People who run their own companies often can't take more and being self employed without a cushy maternity benefit package means a lot of us go back to FT work far earlier than those who are employed. I don't think any woman should be judged on how long they spend at home with a baby as there are too many variables.

I took 9 months and then my holiday. I couldn't afford the last 3 months unpaid.

Had to go back part time at 6m, went half-hours until a year. Shared leave wasn't a thing then (not useably anyway).

ONLY 9 months? That sounds like a very long time to me.

I live in the US and got 6 weeks paid maternity leave. I took another 2 weeks unpaid, so went back after 8 weeks, and this is completely normal here.

6 weeks here. It would have been 8 weeks if I'd had a C section.

I'm only having 9 months too. Simply cannot afford any more than that unfortunately

I seem to remember a French government minister a few years ago was back in work after a few days!

No, I went back at 4.5 months, we got less then and I used some AL.

Yabu because do what works for you and not others. In ten years' time no-one will give a shit how long you took off for maternity leave.

I took 12 months (6 months full / 3 months stat and 3 unpaid which we covered with savings). My DH got 20wks fully paid leave too through his work. I'm glad I did as have ongoing complications / health issues that were caused by my pregnancy and birth. I also did a ramp up return using accrued annual leave along with dropping my hours to 4 days. Appreciate this is a very good situation to be in and would've been royally screwed if we hadn't been in this position.

10/12 months seems to be the 'norm' in my circle and DD settled amazingly well in nursery.

HOWEVER

If I was to do this again I would be looking at shared parental leave options as about month 8 my brain went in the bin 🗑️

Two weeks' maternity leave? Read again...

@quilte Yes.. that person took her 2 weeks maternity leave and used it to go on her summer holiday rather than sit at home. She said her annual summer holiday.. not annual leave entitlement. I doubt the colleague saw her payslip to confirm exactly what kind of leave she was taking for those 2 weeks.. or am I missing something ???

I went back after six months because I only got six months of full pay maternity leave. SMP wasn’t going to cut it because I was the main earner. You do what you can!

Where I live now, your employer doesn’t need to give you anything, so many of my friends and colleagues have taken 4-8 weeks and that’s totally normal here.

The fact you’re even worrying about it means you’re not a rubbish Mum, and other people might be in more privileged positions.