Only taking 9 months mat leave?

[Pinkturtles]

AIBU for this? I thought it would be the norm but most people I’ve chatted to with babies have taken at least 10 months or a full year.

DH is taking months 10 and 11 as shared leave and we already had a month together when DS was born which is taken from the shared leave. The main reason is financial as he will be getting full salary in these months whereas I would be getting £0.

Did you go back at 9 months? I’m worried people will judge me for being a rubbish mum.

I had to go back FT by 6 months, I hope no one judges me for being a shit mum, we’re all just doing our best!

Be lucky you are in the UK. There is no mandated time in the US. My DIL got 8 weeks.

You can be a rubbish mum and take a year off 🙄
Time is not an indicator of successful parenting

Ah please don’t worry about it, if anything your hubby is probably getting the better end of the deal and getting to enjoy the last 3 months before baby turns 1 (which we’re personally my favourite haha!).
One of my close friends went back after 6 months because she couldn’t cope with the lack of routine, another friend took 18 months off because she wasn’t ready to tackle nursery drop offs, another has become a SAHM - we all do what we feel is best for our families and if anyone wants to judge then let them.

Several of my colleagues only take six months maternity leave.

My DH and I did this, I went back after 9 months and he took the last 12 weeks on shared parental leave. It made so much sense for us because I wouldn't be getting paid but his time off was full pay through his company which meant we were back to both bringing money in. Plus I felt it eased my transition back to work knowing he was at home with our daughter

Went back after 9 months and my husband then did 3 months of Shared Parental Leave. Highly recommended for breaking the "mum is the default carer" dynamic. Now, we share the sick days, I can travel for work and know they'll be fine etc. I also had time to settle back into my job, without having to deal with nursery settling guilt, stress and logistics at the same time.

You're not a shit mum. You're a mum edtablishing an equal parenting set up.

I want to take the full year but I don’t get paid for the last 3 months so I’m going back at 9 months. It seems to be the norm around here.

I know a lady who is very well off and de used to switch jobs whilst pregnant- she earns way over 100k and went back after 3 months! It’s about mindset but I’d say finances and boredom are huge reasons why women go back to work before the full year (for everyone making a big scene).

I went back after 6 months both times. Not by choice just because my partner's job pays much less and we couldn't afford longer.

It broke my heart both times, but needs must. It helped that I loved the childcare settings I chose for them

I went back to work full time and DC1 started nursery at 7.5 months. That was the right thing for us.

I went back FT at 6 months. Non financial reasons, just didn’t think I’d like mat leave and I was right.

It’s not that unusual now and until 5 minutes ago six months (7 with annual leave I suppose) was average, so I wouldn’t worry.

I went back at 9 Months for my younger ones (only 6 months leave when my older ones were born). You do accrue annual leave during Mat leave so that enabled me to stay off a bit longer.

I'm taking 9 months, same as I did with my eldest DS

I'm going back then because I want to, I could make 12 months work financially but being off that long isn't for me and I'm a better Mum when I'm not doing it 24/7. I enjoy working and it's good for my mental health

Don't you only have to take 2 weeks of maternity leave by law?

I’m a teacher and I’m going back to work next week, I can only afford 6 months. People who are self employed often have much less time off as they don’t get employer contributions to maternity pay unless they’ve saved up loads for themselves

I had six months when DT’s were born - the normal time then. Felt right amount of time. I wish shared parental leave had been around then. I would encourage everyone to use shared leave

I went back after five. Most people I know took less than six months, the most senior taking meetings during that time.

Yes, which means taking three weeks in total off which includes two weeks of annual leave isn’t sufficient. It has to be two weeks of maternity leave at minimum.

Because his employer offers it as an employee benefit and they can do that independently of the statutory rules. It’s sadly not usual but is becoming more so.

It’s possible one week of the holiday was maternity leave. The PP seems to know a lot about this woman she’s casually introduced for our judgement but hasn’t necessarily seen the paperwork.

If she took two weeks of maternity leave, then fine but the PP went out of their way to make it clear that wasn’t the case.

I went back after 7 months. I just couldn’t afford not to!

Do what is right for you, the family and your baby. Ignore any comments about being a rubbish mum it’s none of their business.

Yes you have to take 2 weeks as a minimum