UK teens the most unhappy in Europe

[coffeeandteav]

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/29/uk-teenagers-low-life-satisfaction-europe

Why is this? Many reasons discussed in the media today. What do you think has caused this?

I can say as a teacher and having a 16 year old it is sadly very true.

Lots of suggestions some sensible others not so much.
Why are we different to Europe? They have video games and tech. So what is it?

1.	The weather lack of vit d. ( thats not new though)
2.	Rise of the nuclear family. No more it takes a village..... Europe has more involvement with extended families.
3.	Loss of youth clubs. Apparently they have them in Germany and its cheap and relaxed.
4.	Too many organised activities kids can't be bored anymore and all their time is structured.
5.	Cost of living and see the pressure on their parents so no hope for things being better than them.
6.	Strict army style school system vs 90s uk and Europe.Blazer uniforms even if hot. Screamed at if have a coat on in the corridor, silent corridors.  Toilet control.
7.	Affordable houses, some parents can't even afford to buy.
8.	Brexit knock on effect of costs and schemes such as erasmus being defunct.
9.	Lack of resilience and entitlement here in UK.
10.	Helicopter parents and mollycoddling . Kirsey Allsopp highlighted this. A Dutch lady said kids walk to school at 8 in Holland. Apparently since M.Mcann as a nation we are more fearful ( don't know how true)
11.	Nursery from 9 hours a day. Does this happen abroad?
12.	Sewage in water ( that would be adults too though)
13.	Too much homework. 
14.	The diet.
15.15.	Constant media input about the poor pensioners eg. The vast majority of pensioners are richer than the childs parents. ( obviously a lot are not but a high portion are) so shows a lack of understanding for youth. 
16.	Underfunding health and mental heath services.

All of the above? Some of the above?

Anymore?

@Blueybanditbingochilli I agree with a lot of that- when we were living in Copenhagen , so much was so right and functioned well that the stuff that for me was a bit shit ( no Uber, no Amazon , expensive) kind of balanced out and as you say re shit weather- we had a few extra odd trips on money saved by my cheap compared to UK superlative geothermal heating ( immense )

Think you are underselling Germany a bit though-we've always had decent warm summer weather right from April ( and go a lot for work) no way was weather as consistently crappy as the UK- scenery in some parts is very lovely indeed too - and yes many do go on holiday a fair bit because there seem far fewer really struggling partly due to far more good social housing options and a lot more well paid manufacturing jobs still

As you say in the UK - there are few areas of excellence as things stand and a lot of below average performance in many areas. The problem is you will get people who own a big Hampshire pad , pay private health, private school - rarely use public transport and eat and holiday well who don't seem to notice or give a shit that they are in a small and privileged circle and that for many it's like the Wild West out there

Information overload. For everyone. The 70s and 80s were much simpler, in that respect.

Not a popular opinion but I suspect that some of the unhappiness is down to being given so much and having so many rights but very little in the way of responsibilities.

I think we are, quite possibly, a nation of whinge bags. Just look at the threads on here!

I think we are a nation in depression. People used to be a lot more stoic, a LOT funnier, much more polite, and complete strangers were a lot more willing to speak to you. Now they are all staring at their phones, looking depressed. Many are also fairly aggressive where I live, so you have to be on your guard. Going out isn't fun like it used to be.

@NowImNotDoingIt that's what it is though-- it's a discussion as to why this might be the case based on what we all know through our ears and eyes and teens experiences -

Yeah everything is ‘why should I have to…’

I agree with this. I love the chat you get in Britain and you certainly don't get that in Belgium. Perhaps in South Belgium but certainly not in Flanders.
France and Belgium lack that lighter attitude to things that we have.
They also still drink drive in a way that I find horrendous.

Well its more nuanced than that in my view, there are low expectations in terms of what is expected from kids in terms of behaviour and ability, but high expectations in terms of lifestyle and wanting this that or the other, I dont just mean material things, I think that the introduction of 'making memories' and other vacuous concepts are part of this, everything has to be an 'experience' or special, or amazing, or social media worthy, relationships and friendships have to be perfect (see it all the time on here with people advising to go no contact at the drop of a hat), little acceptance of people's flaws, unless its really poor behaviour and then there are acceptances of someones trauma or difficulties which mean everyone else has to adapt around that person.

We are topsy turvey in that respect.

People don’t have mental health issues because it’s “fashionable” 🤦🏼‍♀️

It is not helpful to blame league tables? - not helpful to pay schools per pupil so schools on a low birth year that don't attract the pupils are defunded. You think a Gov directed and funded education system that fails children is blameless and it's not fair to blame Government policy. I think that's quite insulting to the Dept of Education to call them completely inert but if that's the case maybe that is the problem - should they be so utterly useless?

@soupfiend I totally agree with all the making memories BS. Parents are bending backwards to afford to pay for Xmas eve boxes, light walks, seeing santa's grotto, elf on the shelf, memory boxes, matching PJs, picture perfect holidays, new cars, the list goes on and on. After a while expectations get so high, nothing is fun anymore and the level of disappointment when completely normal things happen is immense. I have lived in 5 countries and the UK has definitely been the worse when it comes to milking parents to pay for things that is completely fake and unnecessary.

It can only work if there's some common sense , some experience of other countries and their systems ( not just a vague stereotype) and a willingness to look further than shit dads, shit parents, shit schools.

I gave one main reason between at least one country I know well (born and raised there) and the UK, that being the different life stages 15 yos are at in both countries.

Who will be happier? A bunch of teens in their second year of highs chool with 3 more to go before big exams or a bunch of teens in the middle of the GCSE stress?

P.S. There's no way in hell my country is as high as it is in that table in reality, so the results are dubious anyway.

Where I'm from , there's also International Children's day (actually celebrated, gifts, parties etc ) AND an extra gift session for St. Nicholas. A few other extras too, and yet we are near the top.

Maybe it's because we don't have a Father's day.

Agree 100%. I hate to sound Daily Mail but all the families posting on Facebook about being skint or asking after the next CoL payment, will be asking in the next post about expensive local attractions or the best tablet for their toddler.

Do you work with children? I do, and within the teens, it is social contagion with regard to this or that self diagnosed disorder, the main ones being ADHD, ASD and bi polar. Mainly girls that do this. When offered to be assessed they dont engage.

You see a lot of that in other countries now too ime. A lot of Europeans have bought into the whole SM bullshit just as much as we all have, sadly.

The Flemish are some of the worst for this; it's all about the new car, the perfect architect built house, the holidays...I think it causes a lot of stress and one of the reasons so many of them split up.

@soupfiend ha- you've brought up one of my most hated expressions 'making memories' matched only by 'the one' - I see this in expectations by my sons ( lovely) girlfriend. I guess I'm an older cynic these days but the expectation that things in life will always be amazing means many younger people have a lack of stoicism when life stuff goes shitty because the expectations are so high. I see this in everything from careers to motherhood to marriages and family relationships - you only have to be on this site to be aware that there's often plenty of amazing mixed in with plenty of not amazing at all grind.

@NowImNotDoingIt oh I agree about the exam thing totally!!

Schools are an absolute shitshow. Kid are expected to spend a large part of their week in a place where the adults are in constant churn, there aren't enough resources, classrooms are often too hot or too cold, and the buildings are often tatty and filthy. We've had to make most of the learning support assistants redundant, they're regularly in cover lessons where the class just piss around and they learn nothing, sometimes their teacher doesn't know what they're doing, and if they form any sort of relationship with a pastoral member of staff, like a form tutor or head of year, chances are that that member of staff will leave the school at some point. Even little things like the library where nerdier kids might spend their lunchtimes are now often closed at lunch as librarians have been let go.

Lunchtimes are now reduced to about half an hour to save the school money and to counter behaviour issues. Clubs that used to happen at lunchtime are now severely curtailed, particularly sports.

There's no wonder that we have a major issue with non-attendance at school, and when kids do turn up to school, we have major issues with them just not attending lessons.

Aside from this, children's mental health services have collapsed under the weight of referrals. It is very difficult to be seen by a professional even if the child is considering suicide, if they haven't made an active attempt. Any dealing with the children's mental health crisis is merely firefighting at the extreme end.

Making memories with this one. Can't stand it.

But yes is that unique to UK?

Those of you in other countries is mental health risen as rapidly as her post pandemic?

We lie to our teens. We tell them that success equals a good job and that you can only get a good job if you go to a good university. That you can only get into a good university if you get good A levels. That you can only get good A levels if you get good GCSEs. That you can only get good GCSE's if you get into top sets in a good school. That you need to live in catchment for a good state secondary or have parents who can pay to send you private or fund a tutor for 11 plus. That you need to do well in your SATS to get into top sets (that one is most definitely not true, but is widely believed).

We tell children that they are destined to fail from Primary and wonder why their mental health is shit. And it's mostly bollocks. Happiness doesn't need a 2:1 from an RG Uni. Nor does being a decent human being.

We pile pressure on children. We solve their problems when we should be teaching resilience. We don't let them decompress after school. We don't let them be silly and we don't let them be children.

@soupfiend I agree on that too- I think people are naive if they don't think 'some' young people like these labels simply as a form of attention seeking at that particular age or an excuse for piss poor manners/ behaviour - basically the 'don't be nasty to me or put expectations on me ' method . Yes there are young people who genuinely have mental health problems - but equally there are others whose real problem is not wanting to feel left out ( which I guess might be a problem in itself)

They have had phone ins on LBC all day regarding this.

This is what bothers me about the study.

One cohort will be incredibly stressed, exams looming, prep,with a lot of expectations, threat of not getting on their A level course , considered nearly a grownup , again more expectations (from peers, society, parents) etc.

Once is basically a year out of (upper) primary, their first big exam (maths, native language and history or geography)is done and dusted(before entering high school), and they have to go to school and not much else. Longer school hours where I am.

It's not exactly comparing like for like is it?

But we know that our kids are massively unhappy. We know there's a mental health crisis in children. We have our own figures to back this up.