UK teens the most unhappy in Europe

[coffeeandteav]

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/29/uk-teenagers-low-life-satisfaction-europe

Why is this? Many reasons discussed in the media today. What do you think has caused this?

I can say as a teacher and having a 16 year old it is sadly very true.

Lots of suggestions some sensible others not so much.
Why are we different to Europe? They have video games and tech. So what is it?

1.	The weather lack of vit d. ( thats not new though)
2.	Rise of the nuclear family. No more it takes a village..... Europe has more involvement with extended families.
3.	Loss of youth clubs. Apparently they have them in Germany and its cheap and relaxed.
4.	Too many organised activities kids can't be bored anymore and all their time is structured.
5.	Cost of living and see the pressure on their parents so no hope for things being better than them.
6.	Strict army style school system vs 90s uk and Europe.Blazer uniforms even if hot. Screamed at if have a coat on in the corridor, silent corridors.  Toilet control.
7.	Affordable houses, some parents can't even afford to buy.
8.	Brexit knock on effect of costs and schemes such as erasmus being defunct.
9.	Lack of resilience and entitlement here in UK.
10.	Helicopter parents and mollycoddling . Kirsey Allsopp highlighted this. A Dutch lady said kids walk to school at 8 in Holland. Apparently since M.Mcann as a nation we are more fearful ( don't know how true)
11.	Nursery from 9 hours a day. Does this happen abroad?
12.	Sewage in water ( that would be adults too though)
13.	Too much homework. 
14.	The diet.
15.15.	Constant media input about the poor pensioners eg. The vast majority of pensioners are richer than the childs parents. ( obviously a lot are not but a high portion are) so shows a lack of understanding for youth. 
16.	Underfunding health and mental heath services.

All of the above? Some of the above?

Anymore?

Hypersexualisation is probably much of it.

And UK has depressing media. Tabloid & social media. Constant negativity.

Are deadbeat dads a bigger issue here? Wouldn't surprise me.

I think you only have to spend a few minutes reading What I wish I knew facebook group to see how insanely over-the-top parenting can be. Kids don't get to make decisions - their parents are insanely interested in their education - parents can't let their kids grow up. We are all micro-parenting every decision of our child's lives - no wonder they don't have resilience, confidence, don't know who they are - they aren't allowed to make mistakes and see that mistakes are no big deal - you learn from them, you survive them - they are what humans do.

@gottoget I'm on that Facebook group. My son is just about to go into year 13 so I'm interested in the financial side of it. It's interesting!

Are you one of the few normal parents because the level of interference in young people's lives is shocking - but it has become normalised. We don't trust them to make decisions - those parents who attend open days are now perceived as normal now - 10 years ago they were an anomaly. Freedom to make your own mistakes and learn and grow from them - realise yo can survive when things go wrong - we don't want them to make any mistakes, we do all the thinking for them.

@justasking111 Same. I'm in South West England. Very safe. Kids are out and about. However judging by the sounds of it, some parts of England are very rough these days and there's a lot of fear.

@gottoget yes I am. Like I said I'm only there for the money side. Gosh no, I've let my son make his own choices. Personally I can't wait for him to go. I'll miss him but what great things that lie ahead for him. The out pouring of grief as their children leave is an eye opener!! I have friends like this and I'm constantly saying they could join the army now.

One parent was asking when the uni holidays were as her child was insisting he couldn't come home that particular week but she wanted to book a family holiday. I mean I'd be hoping mine would be off to Ibiza or Kavos without his mates.

With his mates

I don't think it's interference, it's trying to keep your kids safe or get them in a better space. It seems that parents cannot win, whatever they do.

The stakes are higher and the dangers are far more varied and diffuse. In the 80s and 90s the dangers were in the physical environment - eg it was a lot easier to see if the dc were getting in with the wrong crowd, who the local weirdos were, and where to tell your kids to stay away from.

Internet has brought so many hidden dangers, you are damned if you control them and damned if you don't.

I think the underlying issue is that after two years of exam pressure, kids' options and paths are heavily determined by a set of exams they take over about six weeks when they're only sixteen.

I'm in favour of a more mixed (VE and academic) and broad curriculum until 18, and more staggered assessment. My eldest is in Year 8 and already feeling the pressure of doing well enough this year to be able to be in the sets he needs next year to do triple science for GCSE and to have the best choice of options. In his case he's able and pretty chilled and deals well with stress. For a more anxious kid I can see how it would be a different story.

I don’t think kids care with sewage in the water and being a teacher- they get away with murder compared to my school experience! And I’m in my early 30’s. You’re right about the other things. For me it’s a lack of community from where you live- I lived in a village that was really small- everyone knew everyone and we were always in and out if each others houses, village bbqs for the whole village- inpromptu in the street, my friends in the local town found this really novel and odd!- now I live in a much bigger village I see what they mean, we were definitely outliers and I miss it a lot- it felt like everyone was on your side and you were part of a big family. And so much freedom as you could go in everyone’s gardens! we were never watching tele as we had too many friends to see in the village, and I grew up in the 1990’s and 2000’s. Back 60 plus years ago I think a lot more places would be like this so I think mental wellbeing has been impacted by this a lot- essentially loneliness and isolationism

@gottoget My DD1 started uni in 2010 so we visited unis in 2009. Exeter was rammed with parents. Not just parents either, siblings too. My DD had friends who visited Bristol via train on their own (boys from boarding school) but again, loads of parents when we visited. Exeter was worse as parents had to be removed from a subject talk as the potential students couldn’t get in the room. At most of the information stands, parents asked all the questions. So I don’t recognise the 10 years comment at all. It’s pre uni fees and loans that parents were relaxed. You only have to read the insane detail on MN to realise dc are micromanaged and are very easily put off a uni! Every i dotted and t crossed. Every aspect of living is smoothed for them. So, when something goes wrong, it’s catastrophic. Someone not coping with a normal setback is ultimately not a happy person.

All three of mine visited universities with friends in a small group. We were never asked to get involved. They chose where they wanted to go themselves as did their friends. Youngest went with his older brother on road trips.