UK teens the most unhappy in Europe

[coffeeandteav]

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/29/uk-teenagers-low-life-satisfaction-europe

Why is this? Many reasons discussed in the media today. What do you think has caused this?

I can say as a teacher and having a 16 year old it is sadly very true.

Lots of suggestions some sensible others not so much.
Why are we different to Europe? They have video games and tech. So what is it?

1.	The weather lack of vit d. ( thats not new though)
2.	Rise of the nuclear family. No more it takes a village..... Europe has more involvement with extended families.
3.	Loss of youth clubs. Apparently they have them in Germany and its cheap and relaxed.
4.	Too many organised activities kids can't be bored anymore and all their time is structured.
5.	Cost of living and see the pressure on their parents so no hope for things being better than them.
6.	Strict army style school system vs 90s uk and Europe.Blazer uniforms even if hot. Screamed at if have a coat on in the corridor, silent corridors.  Toilet control.
7.	Affordable houses, some parents can't even afford to buy.
8.	Brexit knock on effect of costs and schemes such as erasmus being defunct.
9.	Lack of resilience and entitlement here in UK.
10.	Helicopter parents and mollycoddling . Kirsey Allsopp highlighted this. A Dutch lady said kids walk to school at 8 in Holland. Apparently since M.Mcann as a nation we are more fearful ( don't know how true)
11.	Nursery from 9 hours a day. Does this happen abroad?
12.	Sewage in water ( that would be adults too though)
13.	Too much homework. 
14.	The diet.
15.15.	Constant media input about the poor pensioners eg. The vast majority of pensioners are richer than the childs parents. ( obviously a lot are not but a high portion are) so shows a lack of understanding for youth. 
16.	Underfunding health and mental heath services.

All of the above? Some of the above?

Anymore?

"On the continent, people seemed more content with who they are."

I think being content is so underrated these days. Everyone has an idealistic view of what happiness is and should look like, and if life doesn't match up, everything is terrible.

I was brought up in a country that did well in that survey and now have a 14 and an 18 year old brought up in the UK.

IMO the biggest difference having a huge impact is exam pressure. For the 2 years before doing their GCSEs, it's ALL school talks about! It stops being a place to learn, it's now a place to prepare you for the exams. The pressure is imense and it completely ruins the learning experience. Back home, we talked very very little about exams, maybe worried about it in the year before uni, but not before in this manner.

When my children were little I heard people talk about 'GCSE year', supporting your child, adjusting holidays, and honestly I couldn't believe it. It turned out to be so much worse. My daughter is very academic and I feel her life has been on hold for 4 years, it's insane, I feel an imense relief that exams are over and she's going to uni. It doesn't have to be like this. I was very academic as well (phd etc) and it wasn't like this, it doesnt have to be. Ds is less resilient, different personality, about to start year 10, and I'm so worried for him 😢

@LaCerbiatta I really worry about this. My dc are still in primary but there is so much focus in yr 6 on SATs and getting good results. My niece has just done her GSCEs, she didn’t do as well in her mocks and the amount of intervention was insane; before school, lunch, after school etc for months. The schools has great results and wants to maintain them. It’s so much pressure.

Teenagers have always been judgemental. Even with no social media.

Yes. Being told they are "so special" and everyone has to listen to their opinions.

Then when they realise they are actually pretty ordinary (nothing wrong with that, most are) and no-one is interested in their opinions it comes as a nasty shock.

I think the difference with social media is you can be bullied and judged by anonymous accounts at all times of the day. This means being at home isn't even a safe space from peer bullying.

For my teens - while at school disruptive classmates, constant substitute teachers and pushing the trans agenda has impacted them and their learning. They feel its wasted time if the teachers don't teach a productive lesson.

My older teens and young 20s can't see much future with housing costs so high they can't move out and start their lives independently despite full time work. They should at least be able to afford a studio by this stage but even they are half their wage or more. They feel trapped. Sadly there is no inherited money and I've been a single parent through the last 12 years so I'm struggling too so no way to help them move on. I've no idea how any of us are going to manage really in the coming years.

I agree. School seems to be all about ‘meeting needs’ these days, and removing every obstacle or discomfort, without considering that NOBODY will do this for you as an adult. As an adult (especially if you have small kids) no matter how ill/depressed/anxious you feel, you get up and go to work and the day continues. Virtually nobody are really interested in your feelings. It must come as a shock tbh

This is a huge cause of dissatisfaction and being unhappy.

'Im not content'

Well what does that mean, reframe life for yourself, you have more than you dont have, stop hankering after what you dont have

This is a huge contributory factor, I posted this some pages back that you can best teach a child 'you're not special, no one is interested in you, just live your life'

It reduces anxiety and the thought that everything is about them. Most people would see that as horrific and not validating the child. But its helping the child recognise they are one and same as everyone else and thats ok, no one is looking at you, thinking about you, so you dont have the pressure of feeling worried about that.

The other issue is that we have created a narrative in society that 'feelings' are priority, so if you feel something its real, valid, must be acted on and others must take account of it. One of the most useful things I learned in therapy was that feleings are unreliable, they might be 'right' but they might not be and to always act in accordance to them will lead to anxiety and problems. We now say that children's feelings must be validated. Well no they dont. Acknowledged perhaps but not necessarily validated. Its a big problem in creating anxiety

Yes!

You can still be ambitious and aspire for more x while being grateful for what you have. The rise of 'influencers' does not help as now everyone thinks they can start a social media account and make a million pounds while selling, in many cases, a fake lifestyle.

Also, the insidious nature of social media and the need to show up in the algorithm will mean many accounts will also tell you how bad your life is. If you comment "happiness," they can send you to a blog page that will make life better, and be sure to follow it for content. It's rife on the parenting side of social media.

Michael goves narrow and boring school curriculum has not helped. Schools less able to deal with bullying. Families not having money for food due to 5 week wait for universal credit. Parents working several jobs or long hours makes them too tired to help dc. Grandma's retiring at 67 instead of 60 means less help from wider family.

Our children and now our grandchildren had great childhoods, fairly rural Wales, beaches, woodland, Etc all free to explore. We're not al squashed in together as happens in cities and large conurbations.

However, teenagers unless they enjoy sports have little to do socially in the winter so it's Xbox. We have to do a lot of running around to and from their friends houses at weekends and in the holidays.

GCSE and A level study has increased enormously. I had two children in the early 80s revision was books and essays. I had a third child at 45. OMG the studying was so intense hours spent on the computer trying to get to grips with subjects he didn't enjoy at GCSE level. Similar with a level. He and his father arguing because he was messing around.

I was the laid back one worrying about his mental health, which meant his parents were arguing over the amount of study.

It's a bloody crazy system of education we've arrived at in this country. Raising little robots.

It starts with SATS which I refused to let my three sweat over, if they didn't know it, then so be it.

None of your points apply OP IMO.

It is simply down to the over-emphasis on passing GCSEs and A-Levels.

UK schools are cramming institutions for the public examinations. Nothing more. If a child manages to pick up an education as well, it's a happy accident.

I have been teaching for 20 years. We didn't have silent corridors and no coats in the building even 5 years ago.

It was what is different to Europe. This has an affect on all people I would wager.

I disagree with you as I think it’s not any better in Scandinavia. Go to Southern Finland for example. It can be glorious during the summer but the season is much shorter. Snow fall in early May is not unsual and it starts to cool off drastically in September. From late October to March it’s dark and sleet will rain down on you horizontally. Fallen snow in towns and cities is mainly brown due to the traffic.

@coffeeandteav exactly. Schools have not been the same for decades. They've changed significantly in the last 5 years, I would agree.

Schools have changed a lot since covid. I don't think parents realise how badly the lack of staff is biting.

I think 'average' kids are falling through a pretty massive crack in the floor of education and life in general.
It's always been the case to a certain extent that the kids who plod along were just left to get on with it. I speak as an 80s average kid. When I left school, after a brief stint in care work, I moved to factory work. The wages then were enough for me to rent a flat on my own without parental help and get a mortgage with my partner at 21. Not that the wages were great, but there was a sweet spot in the 90s when housing prices were relatively stable, cost of living wasn't huge, etc.

Now, the average kids have got no hope. There's fewer factories/manual jobs available, the wages won't get you anything. It's all very well people talking about 'trades' but not being academic doesn't equate to having the aptitude for skilled trades. Added to that, many trades have become more academically demanding than they were.

When my mother left school, she went straight into nursing at 16. When I was in care work, I could have trained to be a state enrolled nurse, which was more practical - based and you didn't need academic qualifications.
Now, to get into nursing college you need A levels or Btec.

There's far less employment 'for the masses' now that actually pays a living wage. It's one reason why kids now end up doing some Mickey mouse degree. What options have they really got? There's no 'reasonable adjustment' for just not being very good at stuff.

Our kids are under pressure to be good academically or have a reason why they aren't. Because, frankly, if you are an average kid, there's not a lot out there for you. Once, you would have been on the factory floor, maybe you would have moved up to supervisor or middle-management. Now it's much harder to start at the bottom and work your way up without much in the way of qualifications. Chances are you'll end up in a zero hours contract position or working 'part-time' for a big supermarket that really wants full time workers, but knows they can get people working 'overtime' whilst only having to give them pro-rata holidays, etc.

There's no respect for the working masses any more. My parents respected the fact that I got off my arse and worked for a living. They weren't disappointed I was on the factory floor. I was a productive member of society, making my own way in the world.

Who wants to do that now, even in the few places those jobs still exist? It barely pays enough to live on without government top-ups, people call you lazy even if you work 12 hours a day doing heavy lifting, everyone wants their kids earning six figures even if they really haven't the brains for it, and the kids who would have once been 'factory fodder' are now dropping into a big hole of doing Mickey mouse degrees to get a minimum wage admin job because at least that's a bit more respected than McDonald's.

No if you read two of my pp's no she is not happy.

Yes the data may not be robust. Sampling os a thing though. I never got asked who I voted for in the election but the poll samples were correct.

All my friends kids have had issues. Someone even asked tongue in cheek, gallows humour , when discussing their year group. When was Fukushima?

We didn't have compulsary blazers - we had compulsary coats - why? because staying warm mattered more than appearances - the uniform is set now to improve the corporate brand of the school.
During my kid's GCSEs there was a massive downpour - all the kids were soaking wet - we got a letter from the head explaining the importance of wearing coats - it was bloody laughable - the kids had never worn coats - there was nowhere to put them, they weren't allowed coats in the building but suddenly when it's exam time it's the parent's fault they aren't being worn. Rules are being made for the school's image not the children's comfort or welfare.

@coffeeandteav

We don’t have any of those things where I teach and we still have huge numbers of kids with anxiety so bad that they don’t come to school. The only identical factor between these kids is vast amounts of unmonitored time on the internet.

COVID led to a huge chunk of kids being patented by screens (and that it totally understandable). Parents were online working, not able to pay attention to what kids were doing (again, no fault of their own), kids were spending weeks tied to devices for school/ entertainment. And the behavioural issues post COVID have been horrific. I genuinely believe it’s because of online habits and social/ emotional damage cause by fewer IRL interactions. Social media is a fair environment and it encourages anti-social behaviours that don’t work when interacting in real life. Kids are confused about the gap between what they were taught is how to behave online and the reaction they get when they act out those behaviours in the real world. That causes social stress and anxiety.

I’d like to see a total ban on smart phones under the age of 18 and a total ban on social media under the age of 21.

It's a mindset too.
We've always had a pretty moany and negative culture. You only need to look here and anyone who posts positively about their life is accused of being smug or rubbing peoples noses into it.
People aren't encouraged to see the positives and those that post positive snapshots of their day eg on Facebook are accused of being fake or cause resentment and feelings of insecurity in others.
People don't realise that they too have those positive snapshots in their day and could also show off those moments (if they wanted to) and be comparatively similar.

I don't know what it's like in europe but I also think that the threat of being recorded and posted on social media if you do anything embarrassing, or get into an argument or whatever, must create a huge undercurrent of anxiety.

I do agree re the school system but others on here have said it's similar in their country if not stricter.

The school system is so underfunded too. 36 in a class etc.