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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Herons: shoot them, shoot the statuesque, marriage-wrecking little bleeders

88 replies

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 20:45

I knew that herons took fish from ornamental ponds but when we reurned from a morning out and saw that 20 fish were gone and one big fat fish was stranded next to the pond, I thought that was too much for a heron to manage right next to a busyish street.

So I called the police and reported fish thieves, then phoned my fish-loving DH at work.

Huge row followed -- him thinking that we should lock the gates at all time to keep out thieving yobs and me thinking that we should risk the odd theft rather than be so anti-social.

I hang up, start to doubt that thieving yobs would operate in broad daylight and only nick small cheap fish rather than large expensive ones. I do a little online research and discover that our little crime scene bears all the hallmarks of heron attack. They are especially likely to skewer big fish and then fail to cram them down their greedy throats, so leaving them at side of pond.

Marriage saved.

(Don't really want to shoot them, with their cute pterodactyl lurchings across the sky. But still, bastards, eh?)

OP posts:
joyfulspike · 17/04/2008 20:47

when dh worked at a fish farm, his first job was to learn how to use the shotgun!

BettySpaghetti · 17/04/2008 20:48

I'd like to see herons appear in the divorce papers -that would be a first

On a serious note though you need a plastic heron as they apparently deter the real thing (Disclaimer: I have no personal experience but read it somewhere)

ilovewashingnappies · 17/04/2008 20:49

B@ast@rd Herons.

I have similar issues with aphids and beloved plants. My sympathies.

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 20:51

We might get a plastic heron. But I'm sure they score very highly on the naff scale.

OP posts:
BettySpaghetti · 17/04/2008 20:53

Get a plastic ladybird and butterfly to put on the front of your house. That will detract people from the naff plastic heron

lilymolly · 17/04/2008 20:54

god see my thread about the magpies

here

The feckers where banging like hell this morning.......... they are getting shot at the weekend...... want me to send dp round with the shotgun?

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 20:55

Plus, a ladybird would fiighten off ilovewashingnappies's aphids.

Our local herons now have their own crime number -- 287. Next step is ASBO.

OP posts:
Threadworm · 17/04/2008 20:56

Lillymolly, you can shoot your magpies if I can shoot my herons.

OP posts:
Monkeybird · 17/04/2008 20:56

You could get a pink flamingo instead? It would at least have a little kitsch value?

lilymolly · 17/04/2008 20:59

We have wild herons around here in the country and I love them........so maybe I will change my mind about shooting them!!

You could put a net over the pond?

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 21:02

Wouldn't really want to harm them! We are looking into various anti-heron devices.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 17/04/2008 21:05

they don't work - get a guard................

strong net or metal grid xx

lilymolly · 17/04/2008 21:08

I have an ASDA carrier bag hanging out of every window at the moment, hoping that the flapping will frighten the fuckers away, byt 6am this morning I SWEAR they had a hammer on the window the banging was unbelievable.

ilovewashingnappies · 17/04/2008 21:12

pmsl

Husband just announced he "may as well wear pyjamas in bed now" as I never watch him get undressed due to laughing at MUmsnet....

logging off now......

BigBadMouse · 17/04/2008 21:14

Plastic heron will attract real herons. I rented a house with a huge, but empty, ornamental pond a few years ago. It was less than a mile (as the heron flies) from one of the largest heron breeding sites in ther UK -wish we had realised that before we stocked it with expensive Koi .

Now we are in a different part of the country and we have an 'otter problem'...but he is soooooo cute I can't help but let him off after the occassional bit of sushi

lilymolly · 17/04/2008 21:16

oh god ......herons magpies and otters..... is their no end to MN bloodsports?

stoppinattwo · 17/04/2008 21:19

Plastic heron...that is the answer, stick a plastic one by your pond, it keeps the real ones away

ingles2 · 17/04/2008 21:25

Have you tried wires around the pond Threadworm? my neighbour swears by this, says they can't step over.

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 21:54

Wires around pond: saw these advertised as an anti-heron device online. Will perhaps try. So they land next to the pond rather than in the pond and then get confused by the wire??

We want to restock but can't till we have thought of a solution. Like the flamingo idea, but would probably be plagued by Mary Poppins.

OP posts:
gloriana · 17/04/2008 22:10

Please can I add my desire to shoot foxes after I opened the front door the other day to find the HUGEST turd on my doormat. I was not happy and would cheerfully support riding to hounds through my London suburb

Threadworm · 17/04/2008 22:12

Right, so, it's death to: magpies, aphids, herons, foxes, and (perhaps most controversially) otters.

Anything else?

OP posts:
fishie · 17/04/2008 22:13

SOMETHING is eating my tomato seedlings. what on earth can it be? i am really cross and willing to believe it is a heron. [gathers blunderbuss]

ingles2 · 17/04/2008 22:14

According to neighbour (bit daft tbh) herons can't look down or step over the wire. he's got a wire around his pond, a and a couple in a fan shape over the pond. we've got quite a few wild herons and he's got loads of koi so I guess he's not that daft..

ingles2 · 17/04/2008 22:14

LOL fishie.....

ingles2 · 17/04/2008 22:15

and it'll be slugs, snails or mice.... still lol's

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