Can't be bothered to cook for son

[palmtreesands]

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

This, 💯

£400 is cheap rent and bills. I've explained to my adult child that the rent I charge does not equate to a hotel maid service.
However, he's in a hard place if he doesn't have anywhere to store his ingredients.

No son you can't keep food in my fridge and I won't be cooking my food for you either.

I don’t find it ‘difficult to understand’ and do not tolerate warm weather at all. As the OP had not indicated where she is, for the vast majority of the UK outside of the SE it is nowhere near warm, esp. not for August.

But thanks so much for the condescending reply 🙄

I would only charge my children rent if they could afford it and i would also want my adult children to eat a healthy and balanced diet!

@OneSparklyPeachDreamer give it up mate!

Send him to me, I’ll look after him…..poor lad, works all week and pays £400 a month and just wants a shelf in your fridge.

The obvious answer is to half is contribution to £200 a month to cover bills and let him sort his own food out.

WTF?! 😆
Poor little sod?
he’s a grown arse adult with a fridge full of his beer and snacks. Not seeing where the sympathy is required.
What age do you think grown men should cook their own dinner??

Got to say, I do feel rather sorry for the lad.

You've been given solutions to make this situation better, so hopefully its given you some ideas. We've a small fridge, so do 2 shops every week - one delivered, one from supermarket. That way we can fit what we need and buy as we go along through the week.

I cook every night in the summer - actually 2 rounds as have an autistic son who doesn't eat what the rest of us do. Not always easy, I sometimes move a fan into the kitchen so it doesn't get that bad. I often use an air-fryer as it gives off less heat, or make a huge batch of pasta which can be easily reheated for later meals. Maybe buy him some quick easy to cook options he could do for himself.

But taking £400 off him, and not providing him with at least with the raw ingredients so he can make something himself, is really not right.

I really hope the OP takes you up on this.

Do you realise:

He's an adult
He's not her son
She's 34 weeks pregnant
She has a job
Her partner doesn't cook for him either
She can't use the fridge because it's full of the dad's and son's beer?

Where does it say she's 34 weeks pregnant? I must have missed that.

It’s on her other thread

Thanks

I agree.
His father needs to cook, or make the ingredients available for him to cook. Taking him food shopping & working it out together is a good idea. I had a delightful hour in Lidl with student DS on Monday picking what he wanted & advising. However, at 20 he's a brilliant cook & great budgeter: his DAD taught him to cook & I taught him to plan & budget (DS2 17 is closely following). It's your DS's dad's job to do this, you can get involved if you want. But he does need to have space to store the food & some help to plan. These are life skills that will serve him well.

Can’t believe what I’m reading. He pays you £400 per month. You have a small fridge/ freezer space. You won’t allow DS to go out and buy his own food due to the lack of space but you won’t buy him any either or leave him any ingredients to cook with from the money he gives you. You begrudge him needing ingredients to make food and you go to eat out with your DH but don’t offer to take your DS with you or leave him anything to make for himself! Then when you come home you can’t be arsed to make him anything either.
Your DS likes to have a drink but so does your DH but you are able to provide food for your DH but not your DS! You sound absolutely selfish, nasty, emotionally abusive and as if you just don’t want him around. Poor lad!

You need to teach your DH and DSD one important word - REPLENISH

There can be 4 beers in the fridge at any one time. If they take a beer out, they replenish. Then there's always a cold beer but no overstuffed fridge shelves.

The rest of the fridge can then hold food and the poor sod can actually have something to eat* after work.

*from the weekly grocery delivery you all three sort out together so the last thing the heavily pregnant woman has to think about is fetching shopping

Bloody hell I hope my DD doesn't meet any of the male offspring of some people on this thread!

A young man coming home and expecting a hot dinner - what year are we in 1950!

He's getting a bargain at £400 a month, if he doesn't think so perhaps he should look around for his own place. You need to reset here - give him a shelf, tell him to buy his own food, don't cook any more of his meals and please if you are doing his laundry and all the housework stop this too.

These young men are so entitled, I just can't believe it in 2024!

It doesn't have to be a full on roast dinner every night.

A few ideas from top of head:
Omelette with loads of veg and sausages / baked potato with beans / pasta with a super quick homemade sauce / stir-fry / salmon with roasted veg / pork steak with mash and peas

None of those are expensive, time consuming or you need a freezer for.

I don't understand why people are saying you / he needs to buy a freezer! You (or him) just need to shop once every 5 days or so.

I think the ops son should move out and then she won’t get £400 a month extra.

Simple solution- deduct £150 per month off his rent and provide him with a small fridge.

£400 a month would pay for takeaways every night

Could you waive his rent so he can do that?

Quite.

I would agree with you but what op is saying is that they won’t allow him to buy his own food to cook with because they don’t have the space yet do not leave him any ingredients to cook with either if they go out to eat.

This!