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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ND hate comments

7 replies

WhyRPeopleShite · 27/08/2024 21:25

Have NC for this.

Is disability hate crime still a thing? And how do you prove it? if someone is in a wheelchair or something, then their disability is obvious. What about people that are ND? My boyfriend is autistic, and he has been revealing to me how much shit he gets out in public. It is breaking my heart.

Today, I met up with him and he told me about his experience in a cafe just earlier today. He goes there a lot, and he is friendly and chatty with staff and anyone else really. He will talk to anyone, and shows interest in them all.

Today, someone walked past him, and uttered something about being a "window licker" and "thick in the head".
My boyfriend has a MSc, so the "thick" comment was bull, but he does struggle in other ways (hence his ASD diagnosis).

We have been together for about 18 months now, and I hear comments from passing people about how we are "just wrong". There is an age gap (a whole 9 years!).

We are happy, both happy with each other. It seems like some random pricks in the public feel free to comment about our relationship.

I am not really sure what my AIBU is to be honest, I am just upset that he gets comments from twats in public. Who is feeling the need to do this in 2024?

OP posts:
Glassfullofsquash · 27/08/2024 21:42

Thats really random. Why would anyone say you are ‘just wrong’.

Original poster
WhyRPeopleShite · 27/08/2024 21:50

Glassfullofsquash · 27/08/2024 21:42

Thats really random. Why would anyone say you are ‘just wrong’.

I think it is because of our age gap.

OP posts:
WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 27/08/2024 21:53

If people are making comments that is disgusting and could be considered hate incident yes? Not necessarily a crime? (you'd have to check specifics).

I'm really surprised to hear that people are automatically assuming he's Autistic (on what basis?) and that your relationship is 'wrong'

WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 27/08/2024 21:54

9 years age gap isn't always that obvious unless for example you are like 18 and he's 27? Or you both look very young/old for your age

Original poster
WhyRPeopleShite · 27/08/2024 21:57

WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 27/08/2024 21:54

9 years age gap isn't always that obvious unless for example you are like 18 and he's 27? Or you both look very young/old for your age

Ha, no. We are 40s/50s.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyRPeopleShite · 27/08/2024 21:59

WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou · 27/08/2024 21:53

If people are making comments that is disgusting and could be considered hate incident yes? Not necessarily a crime? (you'd have to check specifics).

I'm really surprised to hear that people are automatically assuming he's Autistic (on what basis?) and that your relationship is 'wrong'

I don't see it TBH, but some folks say he "looks" autistic. I am not sure what that means.
He does have an usual gait, and maybe that is what people mean?

OP posts:
Glassfullofsquash · 27/08/2024 22:00

Pay less attention to people who don’t pay your bills or have an impact on your day to day lives.

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