SIL wants holiday updates

[Beachdays86]

We are currently away for 2 weeks with DD and enjoying some much needed quality family time together. DH has put a few photos on his family WhatsApp chat, but SIL is messaging every day asking for more photos and holiday updates. I have a strained relationship with her anyway after she has caused problems between myself and DH. I don’t go out of my way to contact her, but I’m getting fed up of the constant requests for holiday updates. She needs to know everything that’s going on and I have stopped her having access to me after she said a number of things to DD about me. AIBU to tell her to fuck off?!

Ignore or leave it to your DH.

I am guessing that she resents you for taking her brother away from her and that that was the basis of her previous interference trying to split you up.

And now she can't bear the idea that he is doing something without her and she doesn't know what. Hence the insistence on so many updates.

She's not trying to build bridges, she's trying to prove that he can't go a day (or an hour) without thinking about her, and making sure you can't have him all to yourself.

If I'm right, and I accept it's a big if, then your problems with her haven't really gone away, but you and DH have tried to shove it under the carpet. Maybe you need to revisit a discussion about your relationship with DH and his with her. And if he won't stand up to her then it may be time to revisit the divorce discussion too.

You're giving her way too much headspace on your holiday. Tell your DH you muted the chat for a reason and you don't want to hear any more about it. Job done.

Would you really? An auntie who badmouthed you to your child and behaved like an asshole to you? Don’t think you’d love it much at all actually.

You ask your dh if he’s deliberately trying to spoil your holiday, and tell him not to mention her again.

Whatever her intentions are it’s very annoying when someone demands holiday reports and pics from you.
I don’t like it personally. I had this problem with loving relatives but I moved to short txts : we are ok, too busy to take pics, love you, bye. and they got the hint.
With not nice relatives I would cut out “ love you” and move to very short txts: we are ok, just busy, bye.
I don’t like to give out many details to people who are not nice to me. I know it sounds funny but it’s spoiling my fun for some reason. I wouldn’t want them to know anything apart from very generic facts, and definitely very generic pics.

It sounds like your DH is a bit of a shit-stirrer.

I wouldn't have my husband tell me I couldn't send pictures of my kids on holiday to my sisters or brother.

Why is your DH sharing photos of your DD with a woman who said things to her - a child! - about her mummy?!? She should be cut off completely she sounds deranged

Did you miss the part where this woman was saying things to OP's DD (a child!) about her own mummy?!

You nearly divorced over her.
She's now demanding pictures and updates of YOUR family holiday.
It's so weird.
Is there some creepy entanglement between her and her brother and she resents you getting in between them?

I'd ask your husband 'why are you telling me this?' He must know it'll upset you. If he acts clueless tell him you won't get involved at all and don't want to hear it mention again.

YABU. Your dh has a right to share photos with his family if he wants to. Just tell him to stop telling you about it and enjoy your holiday. Sounds like you need to let some stuff go regarding your SIL.

Why can’t DH say ‘having a great time, enjoying being able to switch off - we’ll tell you all about it when we get home!’ And then ignore her

(It’s really odd to want daily holiday updates from anyone - holidays are people’s opportunity to switch off and relax. If she’s really pestering daily for information - she sounds unhinged!)

Why can't your dh just text the chat with 'I'll update you when we get back, I'm switching my phone off now as I want to spend time with my family and not sit on my phone all day. Catch you when we get back'

Or he simply does the same as you, mutes the chat for the two weeks

This.

What happened that led to you nearly divorcing your H over his sister?

Tell him not to send any pics of you.
I would not be impressed by this level of harassment by someone who almost wrecked my marriage.
shes “virtually” intruding. Your DH sounds like he’s saying oh look she still wants to be involved in our lives.
how much do the wider family understand about the situation? Maybe it’s time to say “after what you did you do not deserve any access to us or our lives. We will communicate with you as we are wish not on your demands.” Then tell your DH to do what he wants but not to send pics of you.

I always wonder if posters like you actually read to comprehend or read to talk. Did you not read that op said she nearly divorced over this woman, she says bad stuff to dd about her mom, yet this is what you contribute to the thread?

A crushed Coke can,an overflowing ashtray,a selection of door handles;the possibilities are endless.

This, all ops said is d I have stopped her having access to me after she said a number of things to DD about me. could have been anything?

You are making dramas for nothing…..block the WhatsApp …tell your DP not to mention her and he can send photos if he wishes…..if he carries on then your have a DP problem not a SIL problem

So how do you know about the messages?