SIL wants holiday updates

[Beachdays86]

We are currently away for 2 weeks with DD and enjoying some much needed quality family time together. DH has put a few photos on his family WhatsApp chat, but SIL is messaging every day asking for more photos and holiday updates. I have a strained relationship with her anyway after she has caused problems between myself and DH. I don’t go out of my way to contact her, but I’m getting fed up of the constant requests for holiday updates. She needs to know everything that’s going on and I have stopped her having access to me after she said a number of things to DD about me. AIBU to tell her to fuck off?!

Sounds like he didn’t get the message that she’s the problem.

First post nails it

Leave him to sort it and tell him you don’t want to hear anymore about it. His sister, his problem.

Tell him to stop talking to you about her.

You aren't sending
You don't want to hear about sending
You don't want to hear what she's saying if he doesn't send
You will be annoyed if he's focused on her rather than the here and now.

Make it plain - because he has the ability to mute her, too, and he's choosing not to.

How rude to tell her to F off

I would love if my child had an auntie who was really invested in him and wanted updates. If you don't get on with her let your DH be the one to send the updates that's what my brother would do.

Have some fun with it, put up a series of very boring photos. Your dinner plate, these are the shoes I've chosen for today, our duvet is this pattern, a tree etc, do not include any people in them or anything remotely interesting.

This is genius!

This, in spades!

So your issue is her thinking she has the right to know what you guys are up to, not that she’s bothering you personally, because she’s not even messaging you?

Surely it’s up to your DH whether he thinks his sister is close family enough to have updates?

I’d be pissed if my DH told me not to message my sister. Unless she’s done something so terrible that DH shouldn’t speak to her at all?

People went on holiday before social media. It was nice--a few postcards to the immediate family and then peace the rest of the time. We actually looked at the sunset instead of turning away from it to get yet another selfie.

I digress, but my point is that nobody needs photos of someone else's holiday.

Why is he winding you up by telling you all this?

Just tell him to stick a sock in it and enjoy your holiday.

Just text her in that chat "we are enjoying ourselves and cannot find time to post constant updates to you. #liveinthemoment".
She is just poking to find something wrong on your holiday so she can go full bitch mode. Shut her down.

You could just send her really dull, boring photos and I'm sure she'll soon stop asking

Maybe she's asking because she's sorry for messing up whatever it was in the past and wants to show how keen she is on what her nieces/nephews are doing.

Ignore.
This is for DH to deal with. If he mentions it tell him you don't want to know thank you.

Don't get worked up over some relative of his. You're looking for trouble if you get involved. Step away. It's a non event. His issue not yours. Enjoy your holiday. Life's too short.

Agreed.

As an asides, I've seen quite a lot of 'holiday photos' that are really just a series of selfies.
If someone had done that and passed them round in 1985, people would think they'd taken leave of their senses.

Agree with your DH that you mute the chat for the holiday.

You never know who might see photos and then know you are on holiday. Lovely advert to say house is unoccupied.

Send them when you get home.

Of course you'd be unreasonable to say fuck off, because that's just going to cause drama and you know it. Just mute the group, let DH deal with it. I honestly think you sound very over dramatic, stop reading it and enjoy your holiday.

These types of ppl that cause so much trouble that a couple nearly divorce very rarely care about the kids.. if they did, if they were an 'auntie who is invested' as you say they wouldn't be making the kids parents nearly divorce. Stop being so utterly ridiculous.

She's DHs sister so it's his problem! If he chooses to bend to her will, let him get on with it - you can just ignore. Tell him you don't want to hear any more about it 🤷‍♀️

I can see where you're coming from OP, and understand why it's annoying you.

You're on holiday with your DH and DC. A time to switch off from normal life and concentrate on the 3 of you. Particularly if things have been difficult recently.

If I were you, I'd explain that you feel as though your SIL is far too invested in your holiday.

Perhaps you'd feel ok if he updated her a few times a week with a bland message such as "we've had a few pool days and DC is building confidence in the water" or "went sightseeing and thought Salisbury Cathedral was spectacular". Accompanied by a few snaps.

Your feelings around SIL and her involvement in your marriage clearly aren't resolved and this level of interaction while on holiday isn't helping.

Perhaps you'd feel ok if he updated her a few times a week with a bland message such as "we've had a few pool days and DC is building confidence in the water" or "went sightseeing and thought Salisbury Cathedral was spectacular". Accompanied by a few snaps.

It would be none of the OP's business if he chose to update his sister.

Plus, he just needs to stop winding her up by telling her about the messages.

She's not the one reading them, he is and then he's telling her all about them.

Or you could just ignore it, it only has to be a thing if you make it one she can't control how you feel about something that is on you to own

She's only doing it to wind you up so don't give her any attention back and tell dh you don't want any updates on her or her shinnanigans.

If DH keeps harping on about her begging for updates, why doesn’t he just update her then? Why is this an issue for you? Or are you telling him not to do it because you don’t want her “accessing your life?”