Aibu to not want to move up north

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

Leeds is a great city. And it's surrounded by lovely suburbs, smaller more rural and commutable towns and villages and countryside.
The weather is a bit worse than the south maybe but it's marginal.
Everything else is better-cheaper, less crowded, friendly people in general. I moved from Derbyshire to the south east for work when I was 22. Stuck here now as kids in school etc etc, but if not for that I'd move back like a shot. It's a mugs game living in the south east tbh, if you have a good work opportunity and family and friends in the north.

I'm originally from outer London and family now live on the south coast. I know live near Leeds and have done for 20 years.
It is slightly cooler than the south coast but not as wet as Manchester as the Pennines are in the way!
There's lots of beautiful villages near to Leeds your husband could commute from if you want to keep that feel
I think the areas he suggested are too close to the city centre and would put you off.
You'll also get a lot more house and land for your money in this area than in the south west.
Leeds is a great city with lots to see and do. I love living in Yorkshire, there's a great variety to keep everyone busy.

@Bjorkdidit - maybe congested if you live horsforth headingley way, less so in chapel allerton. Here to town centre in 4 minutes! Out to ring road another 5 minutes. No sitting in traffic.

I guess the idea scares me especially after the things I have seen on these communities groups people are talking about it just seems scary and not enticing at all

So stop looking at the community groups. I assume you mean things like Nextdoor? I used to look at the one in our (naice) area and started to believe I lived in some kind of dystopia- then went outside and realised how it was fine.

With respect, you'll have a far happier life if you're more open to what it has to offer. We've moved a few times, all over the country, with my dh's job, and, at the end of it I'm glad we did. The thought of staying in one place all my life is suffocating.

Oh god, not THE NORTH?! Haven't you heard, it's all ex pit villages, literally no one has any money. They just steal everything from shops. The countryside is god awful and it stinks of sewage.
Please, please stay down south.

Also - why don't people just get on a train or car or bus and look at somewhere themselves before reaching a conclusion? It's not like it's the same distance as east and west coast of US.

We aren't in a RL Game of Thrones in UK!
The North is habitable. People can form full sentences. They have TV and telephones (landlines, at least), and not everything comes with gravy.
Flat caps however, are compulsory, as is whippet owning and Woodbine smoking

Manchester is an entirely different story! I live between Leeds and Bradford. I went to uni in Bradford and was shocked I’m at the difference haha. The volume of rain was insane- it has its own microclimate! That said, it can also be blazing sunshine in manc when it’s tipping it down everywhere else.

Leeds is amazing!! So many beautiful places to live nearby. Your kids might be ‘striking’ but trust me you’ll ‘unfortunately’ find in life there are better looking people and their are plenty in Leeds!

i tjink my problem is I only ever lived in small towns or villages and it’s where I also grew up in one and I’m not used to more built up places

Small towns and villages exist outside of the south 😳 there's even green spaces too @time2changeCharlieBrown

Why don’t you give us you list of needs from a place to live and your budget and the locals can suggest some more appropriate areas than the ones your hubby has suggested.

Went to uni in Manchester not Bradford 🤦‍♀️

I loved to Leeds from Devon almost a year ago and I love it.

so much more to do, very friendly and getting places is so much easier.

better transport, excellent shopping and the culture is brilliant.

going to see live music used to be an effort. Now it’s £3 on a quick train ride or a £7 Uber.

OP…you didn’t mention the dragons.

Has no one told you?

There are some beautiful places to live up there, yes the weather is worse than down south, but you’re wrong about your children struggling - it’s pretty multi cultural in Leeds

I wouldn't but only because of the weather, I live in Northamptonshire which is a bit dull but our weather is generally ok, up north is probably nicer place though

We moved from London to near Sheffield 7 years ago and really like it here. The weather is definitely worse though and that bothers me a bit. Also always seems so windy.

The people are friendly but no friendlier than Londoners

Shops?!....@wickerpram
Eeeee I dream of your fancy Shops with a door and a roof...keeping the constant deluge of rain,snow and wind away. We have to hunt in the wild for our provisions up North North....

Yorkshire is lovely v pretty i did 5y uni predominantly based in York, v safe lots of pretty local countryside. Leeds is somewhat confusing a place to navigate though, lost count of how many times got lost on that ring road.

Took me at least a year to understand the locals and patients though, even harder when did placements in Hull lol

Weather is way worse and more snow than my homeland of kent (but equally could say the same of Devon which when I moved there the fishshop man said "yep torquay has two weathers warm and wet and cold and wet") lol

DS lives in Manchester and often comments on the rain

It hardly ever snows in Leeds any more. I think last year might have been one day with a light dusting.

Unless you're on some of the outlying hillier areas, it's not an issue at all, especially if you can WFH when the forecast is bad, which is what just about everyone with a hybrid working pattern will do - WFH unless you must go into work.

Your husband might have been offered a job but you are perfectly right to first want to assess whether the move would be a positive for the whole family.

I would take a trip to Leeds and work out whether you can see yourself living there, then make a decision. There are a lot of things to consider:

• if you have a job too what would it mean for your career?
• what would it mean for your kids' education long term?
• would you sell you house and buy something there or rent?
• would that mean being away from family and how would you cope with that?

Basically it is not just about moving to the North or not, it is about considering the impact on everyone.

But you are right the weather is also something to be considered.

I think people are focusing on you not liking the idea to move North when it might just be that you simply don't want to move and you have zeroed on the weather and crime stories to find a way out...

It is perfectly fine to tell your partner this is not what you want at this stage in your life.

Have a look at Ilkley, Otley, Skipton and surrounding areas. Easy transport to Leeds and a more chilled smaller town vibe if that's what you're looking for. Good schools in all three as well.

Why are you worried about the weather? Surely your focus should be on your kids and how they feel about the move!

OP to say you’re dreading a visit to Yorkshire - a beautiful well known English county - is at best ridiculous and at worst pretty offensive to the many, many people who live there.

Yanbu not to want to move but honestly sound very small minded indeed.

Presumably you don’t need to move to Leeds City Centre, so if it’s city living you don’t fancy, why not just research some of the many lovely villages/smaller towns up there? Or ask your DH to suggest some to visit while you’re up there?