Aibu to not want to move up north

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My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

Are you a London person who believes (but doesn't say it) that London is superior to the rest of the country? If so, you will likely find fault, and annoy the Leeds residents who will sense that. Because you dont want to live anywhere else and are looking to justify it. Or are you a little timid and apprehensive, and maybe afraid of change, but still open to a new experience?
You will see what you look for.

I live in the USA and have no skin in this game. But I have seen the same situation over and over in residents from.the NE (New York, Boston, etc) who are forced to live in the midwest. And when we were in London last year we saw that attitude several times.

So just figure out what kind of person you are and own it. It will save a lot of trouble in the long run.

No she's a country mouse from the SW not a city girl at all.

Funnily enough I have a friend from the mid West who was dragged off to NYC. workwise. They found a lovely rural home outside the city lived there for 20 years and relocated to New Hampshire recently. They're as happy as clams there.

Alternative places to look at within commutable distance from Leeds is Boston Spa, next stop is Thorp village but if you want to be close to a railway station, look at Church Fenton or Horsforth.
Honestly, I'm sure you are going to be pleasantly surprised 😄

Our daughter moved to just outside Leeds some years ago. She and DH rented for a year just on the outskirts of Leeds before deciding to buy in Aberford, which is a small village a ten minute drive from Garforth, which has parking and a good train service into Leeds, which she used every day for work.
Renting for 6 months might be an idea before deciding exactly where to settle down?
I agree with previous posters that the small villages East of Leeds are all lovely, with some lovely country pubs and beautiful countryside all around.
House prices should be cheaper than in the south too.
Good luck with your visit and I hope you like what you see!

You’re getting the opportunity to move to God’s Own County… we have villages up here, and everything. The weather is part of what makes it so beautiful and green up here. The countryside is stunning.

Wilberfoss - village just outside of York is very commutable to Leeds.

How is your DS mixed race?
That confusion over, the weather can be colder in the north. But house prices are cheaper, so you will get a bigger house, and the countryside is both beautiful and accessible. There are lots of cultural things going on and Leeds is an interesting city.
Move. There is nothing to fear except fear itself - and I had not noticed that the south lacks burglaries, car theft, stabbings etc.

YABU, just had a trip up north to see family, visited Cumbria and Yorkshire and my DP kept pointing out places he wants us to retire to. I would move up north in a heartbeat.

I went to Harrogate with my DH and bi-racial DS. We found nothing but friendliness.

And trust me. We've been places where we've definitely felt uncomfortable!

I grew up in Leeds, lived there until I was 16, moved back at 18 and lived there until I was 20.
I've only ever lived in Roundhay, although I have spent lots of time in other areas.

It's nice enough. I've never come to any harm or even encountered any trouble. If you don't look for trouble it doesn't tend to find you.

Ooh am glad to hear I'm not mad !

Btw to the other poster saying we assumes OP was a londoner ... my London reference was just that is where I live and comparing where I live now to Leeds!

Is this really what people think “the north” is like?🙄🙄🙄

Bit wet at the moment isn't it? I still love it though. Just been to Coniston and we live near Yorkshire.

No I’ve already said I don’t like London although only been twice a long time ago now so possibly I might have a different opinion if I were to go back now
yes I am afraid of change I think this is true I find it overwhelming and intimidating being in crowded places and I find change hard
but trying not to let this spoil my family’s wants and needs, so we are going to visit and are seriously considering the move
we are more or less in favour of the relocation and I am feeling more positive and slightly excited by the prospect of a new area new people new opportunities

100% agree with this. That area is lovely and expensive to buy in.

Also there’s some really beautiful places around Calderdale, especially Hebden Bridge. 45min ish drive to Leeds and direct trains. Definitely worth a visit.

Thank you that place looks lovely I think I am going to be pleasantly surprised
I am definitely more looking forward to seeing it

I’d strongly advise you to pick somewhere near a train line - driving into Leeds is not fun even if you know it really well. A 20 minute train journey could easily be an hours drive at the wrong time of day.

I really hope you love it up here!

Driving into Leeds even in the mid 1980s was horrible. I wouldn't consider commuting by car into Leeds now.

I wouldn’t have thought about that but good tip!
still leaves plenty of places to look into. I think we are going to love some of the places mentioned! We probably have the dilemma of which one to choose! Be better for all the children than where we are now it’s a bit too isolated for them

😂😂😂😂😂 brilliant.

Personally I’d add Horsforth / Moortown / Menawood into the mix - Kirkstall is probably a little central for what you’re looking for. Have you considered Harrogate and out in that direction? Tongue in cheek I imagine some people in harrogate would consider leeds very dangerous!

I did find Leeds cold and dark at first and that was even compared to the Midlands, since moving 15 years ago there is more violent crime / theft. I gave first aid to someone who had been stabbed with a machete on a bus (gang related) - but the gangs only tend to be after each other! I think though there are also a lot of sensible honest people about as there are in busier places which means it never feels TOO intimidating.
I think you’ll probably be anxious at first, especially as you’ll be hyper aware - but hopefully all the good stuff about the city / advantages of a city will mean that you grow to love it.

Me neither! Despite living near for 30+ years and knowing exactly where I want to be, they change the flippin one ways and penalty streets so often it’s just not worth it. And with city square buggered up as it is right now and all the cycle/bus lanes, I’d have no chance!

Lots of stations to drive to and park at for free, though. And there’s the park and ride (never used, weirdly doesn’t seem to be open weekends) and buses… bit hit and miss.

Upshot OP - if your husband will be working in the actually city centre, he needs to suss out how to get in without having to drive.

Send us your shortlist when you’ve narrowed it down, and perhaps we can suggest some things to look out for, pros and cons etc

Horsforth is nice, it also has the most delicious Pizza served by the great folks at Trattoria Il Forno.
Harrogate also has the spa, Haks Little Royal Baths, the Fat Badger is civilised too.