I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

The only bully so far has called someone (not the OP) a 'sad, sad cow'.

I've worked in jobs where I have had a 3 month notice period but I've never had a deadline of when I can choose to resign. If OP hands in her notice today she can't leave in 3 months as that would be the 25th November, if she'd given her notice in a month ago she still couldn't leave until the end of term in December, It really isn't the same as another job with a 3 month notice period.

I've also been able to use my annual leave in my notice period so my 3 months notice actually meant me being in work for 8 weeks with two period of 2 weeks holiday which made it bearable.

@PrettyPinkShoes I'm actually asking, other teachers with experience, should I walk away from the profession I've worked so hard at and lived for many years. But thanks for the nasty comments. Extremely helpful

OP, there's a good book called "Four thousand weeks" that put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Life is short, there are no prizes for self sacrifice on the altar of work.
Look after your own physical and mental health and I wish you a speedy recovery.

She will be seeing out her notice period on sick leave. Which she wouldn't have to take it at all if the senior leadership had fostered a healthy workplace dynamic. They clearly haven't, considering they are emailing during her holidays. She will have enough evidence of stress with those alone and will justifiably get the sick leave.

If the school didn't want this to happen they shouldn't have let her be treated but this way. But as someone who has worked very closely to senior leadership in schools, I suspect they would be happy for her to leave and may actually be encouraging it.

Because teachers are made to feel guilty for taking time off, even when at death’s door. It’s an endemic problem in teaching. I was in A&E overnight once after knocking myself out after fainting and despite being advised by the hospital to take a week off, I was back at work (with a black eye and concussion) in a few hours because I didn’t want to let Year 11 down. That is what the pressure is like.

If you have been a teacher, you would know this.

Thank you so much, and for the book recommendation

At last a voice of common sense, it’s so unreasonable that the poster can just ‘go off sick’ receive full pay and affect the children’s education at the same time.
Just work your notice like other people have to do.

I'm only up to page 5,but the bullying behaviour towards Werweisswohin, on this thread is sickening. Some extremely immature comments too.

We have had one person on here describing how they hoped they would be in a fatal car crash with their children in the car so they didn't need to face a day at school. I've worked in a mental health setting and I am pretty sure that would qualify as a mental health issue. I wish people would stop deciding how other people feel.

I used to teach, and got out after nearly 20 years. I worked in a lovely school with great kids and SLT but I just got worn down in the end and desperately needed a change.

The expectation you'll keep on ploughing through when you're ill is really weird compared with being in the non-teaching world. I had 1 week off for a miscarriage and was then guilted into being back. I put off an operation date because it fell at the start of term and had it the last week before Xmas instead because it was more convenient to school. That guilt tripping and feeling the need to not be ill in schools is very odd and unhealthy.

There are jobs out there: I took a pay cut from p/t teaching for F/T in current role which sort of compensated and it has been worth it.

You asked on AIBU and didn't specify that only teachers could reply, hence you got a variety of responses.
Regardless of my questions, I do hope things improve for you and that you find a role that suits - not sure your subject or qualifications but would there be openings at a local college or something, working with adult learners or tutoring? That might still allow you to teach but in a different environment? Could you tutor privately? Could you write a text book in your subject?

I have the theory that it is because teachers are at the front line teaching but now you have to be very careful around kids in case they make a complaint. After class, teachers - like all human beings - have to let off that steam somehow, so they are bloody to the nearest adult they can relax with - usually another teacher, so they bent all their frustrations on them.

i believe that if the culture of parent and student teacher-blaming stopped, then teaching could be a lot nicer profession.

teachers (and all front line professionals like nurses) should have regular counselling sessions as part of the job. They are humans and they need to offload the huge pressure they are subjected to daily from the threat of ‘complaints’.

@SuePreemly the amount of (unpaid) leave allowed for those suffering a miscarriage is shockingly inadequate in many roles, it's so sad. Sorry for your loss.

Look with the best will in the world none of us know if she is being bullied or what that means.

It could be a personality clash or differences of opinion at work. None of us know.

I've already said many times here that there are proper channels to deal with bullying at work and OP should access those. Talk to snr management, her union or other formal channels.

It would be better to work through those issues even if she still leaves.

I've always found colleagues supportive and many of my friends are former teachers, none of whom have found other colleagues competitive or nasty.

The OP has said she loves the job but not her colleagues. So it seems to me to be shooting herself in the foot to engineer a 3-month sickness when that may count against her in the future.

Exactly this. It was having two months off with a physical injury that made me realise how much work was damaging my mental health and that I couldn't do it any more.

Your headteacher / the governors might release you from your contract if it is clear that you will be off sick then leaving. That is better for them than paying sick but also avoids you job hunting with a chunk of sick leave in your recent history.

I think you should consider looking at other schools if you do enjoy the actual work, as well as being open to new opportunities too. If you can handle the secondary age kids you're ahead of many.

I feel sad that this seems to be the way of the English education system (making an assumption here). I work in a Scottish secondary and I don't find this toxic culture at all. Management aren't always great but there is support there and I have never received a nasty email. My direct line manager (head of dept) is briliant. So supportive.
I echo what others say - surely there's a school out there for you? Teaching really is still a good job. The kids make it. Good luck OP. And you are right to go off sick to get away from bullies!

@PrettyPinkShoes

You said There was a huge debate in The Times on this last week with real MH professionals saying it has to stop.

Do you mean the disgraceful article by Matthew Paris?

@SanctusInDistress gosh so true! This school in particular has a distinct pupil power problem. Numerous times I've heard "I'll report you" or "we'll see what the HT teacher has to say about that" etc from students!! On the whole the kids are amazing, and I have great rapport with them. But there are far too many kids being allowed to make wild accusations and being backed by their parents. SLT are too scared of the parents too

If it's not the job itself and the issue is your colleagues I would try another school. My department is lovely. I've never experienced workplace bullying, everyone is really supportive and friendly.

You could find a horrible group of people in any workplace. Between us my husband and I have worked in 6 schools and mostly had lovely colleagues so I don't necessarily think it's a teaching issue.

If th actual job was making you unhappy, I would suggest leaving altogether but it seems a shame to let a few nasty people force you out of a career you like.

If it's not the job itself and the issue is your colleagues I would try another school. My department is lovely. I've never experienced workplace bullying, everyone is really supportive and friendly.

You could find a horrible group of people in any workplace. Between us my husband and I have worked in 6 schools and mostly had lovely colleagues so I don't necessarily think it's a teaching issue.

If th actual job was making you unhappy, I would suggest leaving altogether but it seems a shame to let a few nasty people force you out of a career you like.

Yes, I had a suicide plan worked out that would have left my young children motherless. I think on balance, it was better that I had nine weeks off sick until my notice period expired - though I remember posting on here at the time and being told I should return my salary to the school. The lack of compassion in some people is very disturbing.

I agree with @Mumoftwo1316 - it really doesn’t have to be like that. In my Dept we have a lot of part timers and in recent years there have been lots of family/health issues and everyone is very supportive. It makes all the difference. I’m really sorry for the stress you must be suffering.

This s so true. The lack of management training for teachers outside the classroom is such an obvious problem if you’ve worked in other sectors (and probably if you haven’t!)