I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

You’ll find a new career, don’t worry about that for now. Best of luck for the future.
Take time to recover. The majority of people don’t realise how toxic schools can be.

I actually quit my teaching job on 30th July after we got our holidays. I’ve resigned with immediate affect and head accepted my resignation. It was for a multitude of reasons and even though I was also part time I couldn’t face going back in September. I completely understand how you feel.

Yes I think you're right. I was very unlucky with my department. The only other teacher in my dept is very jealous and competitive. Always looking for fault and then running to HOD to tell tales. Support staff member is 60 year old narc who loves to stir the pot and causes all sorts of issues. HOD is 27 years old and head of 3 departments - two of which she has no clue about. It's an absolute recipe for disaster and it's making me want to vomit just thinking about going back there.

Well said.

Maybe she's too expensive.
I know plenty of experienced teachers who tried to get another job before leaving but on many occasions those jobs went to someone just qualified.

Have you contacted your union?

I am sorry but not surprised, what you describe outlines some of the many reasons I'm so glad I didn't go into teaching when I qualified.

Ironically we now have an ex-head where I currently work and they are truly awful, hypocritical, selfish, entitled, beyond arrogant, treating us all like ten year olds, never listening to anyone's opinions, not sharing what they should be, oblivious to the larger organisation, and generally focusing on minutiae instead of the strategy and relationship building they should be working on. They don't know they were the only person who applied or just how desperate their senior was to shed the load but if they continue like this it will surprise me if someone doesn't tell them. (Not me, I do my best to avoid them as much as possible which is a bit tricky given the number of pointless empty meetings they insist on having.)

I'm tied in to a university course for a couple of years but if The Head is still there at the end of that time I will be looking for another job. I'd go sooner if I could face having to look.

@SippedAway that's it, it's grief! I am gutted to be losing that part of me, I'll no longer say "I'm a teacher" or have kids calling out "hi Miss" in the street. It's been my life for the last 20 years,

Gosh, are any of them likeable?

Have you considered sticking with teaching but moving out of mainstream education OP? I made the move into a special school two years ago and would never look back!

The fact that a 27 yr old is head of 3 departments is alarming. Definitely something wrong with the leadership structure.

YANBU. I left after 14 years last year as I felt the life had been drained out of me and having two children under 3 made me realise my priorities up to that point had been all wrong. I am so much happier now! I am healthy whereas before I had very high blood pressure and hair loss.

Having said that, if you still love the teaching - it sounds like might be worth trying a different school and finding a better environment before leaving the profession completely.

No I haven't, but will give it some thought. What are the positive differences you have found?

I’d also recommend this. I found it post retirement and so didn’t ‘need’ it.

Lots of advice, support etc.

I could have done with it 20+ years ago when a new toxic head joined us.

Lots of union involvement for several of us. ( lots of union involvement in her last and next appointment too)

A bit of a Paula Vennells character.

I was like you - given a phone number on a scrap of paper ( by her) ‘there’s a job going here’. I’d nothing to loose so I called, interview, got the job. 12 years in a far happier place - until retirement beckoned.

All the best.

I thought everyone was allowed to give their opinion on MN. It’s unreasonable to post your query and then only want people to reply if they are going to give you the answer you want to hear.

I’m not a teacher, but have you considered rather than leaving completely, finding a naice small private school where everyone is really friendly? It could be a completely different experience.

Given you say you enjoy teaching, I would first try and switch schools if I were you. I think enjoying your job is key, and clearly children will benefit from having passionate teachers.

@thequickbrowndog maybe charity work with children, young people or social work

Are you in an academy chain, by any chance?

Too many of us recognise these experiences.

Young teachers promoted way beyond their experience and capability.

Disgruntled colleagues who are not managed effectively because their manager is 20+ years younger than them, inexperienced, and doesn't know how to handle interpersonal issues between colleagues.

For all the teachers saying they don't recognise this picture of school life, there are thousands of us who do.

The crux of it all is pay. Experienced staff cost money, and schools don't have any. Which is why so many people in management in your average comp these days are under 30 - they are very, very cheap as they are still on MPS.

I'm not sure you're 100% guaranteed to find "naice [sic.] small private" schools out there, particularly given the VAT increase on independent school fees is threatening the existence of quite a few of them. That plus many independent schools have pulled out of the Teachers' Pension Scheme because of the mounting cost - it isn't exactly an attractive deal (whereas all state schools have the guaranteed funding to continue to offer Teachers' Pension Scheme to their teachers). And it's not as if independent schools are immune from an unsupportive workplace culture either. I'm not saying there aren't "naice" [sic.] independent schools out there; of course there are. But the independent sector as a whole isn't the haven of perfection that you might assume.

I hope it has all worked out. Before retirement I was a senior HR manager and I've heard lots of stories about how schools manage staff. Some of them were truly horrific and hard for me to understand. I always worked on the principle that I wanted staff to be healthy, happy and able to do their jobs well and I can't understand how bullying and undermining people can lead to a successful workforce.

I agree with this. So many teachers just seem to think it's normal to go off on long term sick and it's the kids that suffer. Left with supply teachers that more often than not teach absolutely fuck all in lessons and it's the kids education that really suffers. Most people, if they are working in a job that has bad management or that they don't like just look for another job and leave for another one, not just go off on the sick.

This was me doing child protection social work. Dreaming of driving my car into a tree onto the way to work. Unless you’ve experienced this level of dread about work NO ONE has a clue of the physical impact. I actually get physical symptoms if I drive along the road that I had to take to work.

But that is putting the onus on the individual teachers as opposed to management. Op has said she raised issues and they were ignored. Agree it’s awful for the children but it can’t fall on the shoulders of individual teachers. Parents will need to go to governors and they will need to look into why management is failing

I came onto mumsnet because I need to leave. Recognise all you say.

Also the difficulty with "just finding another job". Leaping out of teaching is hard. What do you leap into? And most people can't afford time off to retrain. It does seem that many people in more generic office jibs can move around or jump into different types of job but teaching does feel really hard to leap from

Also loss of identity as a teacher and then, especially when in a toxic environment, the fear and lack of confidence going into soemthing else.

Often people are good graduates with years of experience but end up looking at jobs that need 2 a levels at under £30k.

I'm really not sure how to leap as I don't think I can do full time any more and am very burnt out. I've tried half a leap into adult Ed but it's both toxic and lower pay. I do feel compeltely deskilled and no idea how to love. I feel trapped.