I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

I've seen enough teacher stress, in my own DP and many others to be so near to certain that I'm sure that what @thequickbrowndog says is the truth.

Not the OP’s problem.

This is the problem with teaching. Teachers are made to feel guilty for being off sick because of the pressure it puts on colleagues and students. However the people who should feel guilty in these situations are the management teams who create toxic environments. They are the ones to blame.

The OP is being bullied. She has gone through the procedures to tackle this and the school have done nothing. Why on earth should she be made to feel guilty for not being able to cope with being bullied and for the school’s failure to do anything to help her?

The difference is between genuinely being too ill to work or choosing the option of 'going sick' simply because it's an option. None of us know where OP lies, maybe she doesn't fully know herself (we can often cope long beyond when we should be coping), hopefully a doctor can help assess.

Not the OP’s problem. Yes. I literally wrote that. But some posters seem interested in the real situation in schools.

Way to reveal yourself as one of life’s bullies.

Agree with this

Please dont do this, as HR for a multi academy trust, go and speak to them about how you are feeling, most will let you leave outside of normal terms and conditions.

Going down this route won't always mean that you will get 100 days paid, it will likely add more stress in that you will be required to attend Occupational Health, Management meetings etc and in the long run, add to your stress if work is the problem.

You still don’t get it, do you?

She can’t just leave like in a normal job. She’s being bullied and the thought of going back to school is making her anxious. So her only option to cope with the notice period without ruining her mental health is to go on sick leave. That is her right.

Why you are so bothered about this, I can’t understand.

Schools have insurance for supply teachers. Or they use teaching assistants to cover classes.

Have you never been so unwell that you know already that you won't be fit to work in a week's time?

I have albeit years ago. Soul destroying (work related but not Teaching) anxiety impacting on my physical health too - GP was of the opinion that it left me vulnerable to Impetigo.

She is not ‘choosing in advance’ she is saying right now her mental health is in the gutter.

you are creating a weird scenario where you are coming up with assumptions. It’s very odd.

So 6 weeks paid leave then 3 months sick pay till Christmas? Letting colleagues and children down. Nice.

But why wouldn't you just change school?

There are posters here who have no understanding of burnout. No idea that you work and work, your physical and mental health fraying all the time, constantly feeling that it's you who is the problem, that you just need to snap out of it, ride it out, keep going. This is the career you trained for, the thing you know how to do and you worked so hard to be good at it. So many people are depending on you, you can't fail so you push and push and push and then one day without you seeing it coming, the collapse happens. Maybe it's the morning when you just can't walk out the door to go to work because your legs buckle underneath you. Maybe it's a quiet day in the holidays, when you've had a moment's rest and your body has told you in no uncertain terms that it needs to heal and you cannot go back again.

There is so much grief and sadness in losing that part of you, that successful identity you had, the plan for your future and everything you worked for.

You can't plan a breakdown according to the local authority's notice period, or accommodate their supply issues at the cost of what's left of your mental and physical wellbeing. Burnout is a long, insidious process and so much damage has been done before you even realise you're on fire.

Of course your experience is valuable, but none of us know if a complete stranger is telling the absolute 'truth'.

It's also not even just about telling the truth regarding the bullying situation, but whether that then equates to being signed off sick - it justifiably could, but it's not 100%.
Nobody should be bullied at work, but the answer to stopping it isn't automatically being off sick. Long term bullying may result in needing to be off sick, of course.

Good job a doctor can make that decision rather than someone on the net who has never met the OP and wouldn't know her is she bumped into her in the street.

You can relax and enjoy your Sunday knowing a qualified professional will make the decision.

They cannot* *just change school. If they found a berth on Tuesday in the most heavenly school ever they'd still have to work their notice.

Werweisswohin - When you are in a position and you want out, you just do that, get out. Maybe the OP did not know for sure at the beginning of the holidays and the looming new term is the trigger. Are you a teacher? Have you faced the disruptive, soul destroying atmosphere of so many modern teaching classes? It sucks the very life blood out of you.

I did use some of the days off sick. About 8 weeks.

I was sick. I drove to work on the last day of teaching (which at the time was just a 'normal' day. I didn't know then jr would be my last day) wishing I could crash my car and end it all. With my small children in the car. Was the most horrific day of my life. I broke down in the toilet to my husband at 10am. I carried on teaching all day. I could speak properly. I asked to go home and was told there was no cover.

I just snapped. I couldn't do it anymore. After years of so much stress. Was awful and I hope to god I never ever experience it again.

@thequickbrowndog please if you feel you need it seek help. Have a look on the Facebook page there's lots of advice and support and fellow teachers experiencing the same sadly.

She's deciding to be 'off sick' for the duration of her notice, while she's being paid.

So pleased you are happy to accept that a doctor will make the decision not you.

For those commenting on my health. I will explain. I have two chronic health conditions which are manageable in normal circumstances. The stress and anxiety of my current job is causing my symptoms to exacerbate. The school are aware of this as I've had to have a risk assessment put in place by order of OH. I'm also awaiting surgery.
So I have a legitimate reason to go sick and can be backed by a doctor.

DH left last year and hasn't looked back. He got out by taking early retirement, he had already had one cardiac event with the stress of it all.
We have lots of friends who have quit, some have gone to roles in the private tuition/NHS/civil service.
One is a therapeutic foster carer on £52k.
You have valuable transferable skills!

Yes I agree with this. Waiting for others to fuck up, and watching them do it, when it would have been so easy to help out....