I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

You don’t understand how things work in teaching.

As per our contracts we have to give a half term’s notice by a specific date. You can’t just hand your notice in whenever you like and skip off into the sunset after two weeks like in most office jobs.

To leave at October half term, the OP would have had to hand her notice in before the summer holiday. She’s missed that deadline so the next opportunity to leave is now not until Christmas. Would you like to be forced to keep working in a job that was making you ill for another four months? I don’t think so.

The OP has worked hard for years and paid her national insurance like everyone else so if she wants to take sick leave then she is bloody well entitled to. Stop trying to suggest she is doing something wrong.

If she can convince her doctor she needs a sick note then it's an (unethical) option.

This. (If the school can get supply staff - very unlikely in my area.) So the pupils may well be deprived of a proper teacher for months. That’s why people who want to resign have to give enough notice.

Obviously I can’t judge the OP's mental state, and I know this won’t be a popular view, but being unhappy is not the same thing as being mentally ill and justified in going off sick.

I feel depressed and anxious every day and dread work. I feel physically sick walking to the school as I set up for the day and deal with the bullying and nastiness and that is the staff! Let alone managing the children. I can not mentally cope any longer.

Pretty sure that works !

You don't have to answer this if it's too personal, but didn't you consider leaving before it got so bad?

I was like this in Sept 2018, I resigned on the first inset day in September Worked through to Christmas and that was that.

When I got used to having my evenings and weekends back, free from marking and organising the next day's lessons, I could not return to teaching.

I'm sorry to hear your school has ground you down.

I've worked in several schools. Only one of them was toxic. I went on stress leave 18th September and never went back. Handed in my notice in October to leave at Christmas. As I'd previously worked in 2 great schools, I knew there were other great schools out there. I got my confidence back by doing supply, then got appointed to a part time post in Feb half term. This school was a much better work place. I got my mojo back, ended up going full time again and have since moved on to another wonderful school.

There really are other workplaces out there which aren't as toxic. If you love working with the boys, it's worth giving others a go before you quit altogether imo.

All the best with your journey.

Are you in a union? Feeling forced to leave due to bullying is constructive dismissal.

Don’t stay working somewhere that’s affecting you so badly if you can afford to leave. Life’s too short. Have you considered a different school?

1. you need to speak to a GP next week to see if your plan of "going off sick" for three months is in any way viable.

2. if you enjoy teaching, then this plan burns all your bridges. There are (many!) things I struggle with in teaching, but the management is certainly not toxic at my school, and there's definitely no workplace bullying. Good teaching jobs exist.

Go back in September, it might not be as awful as you've built it up to be, new year fresh start and all that. Speak to your union about your concerns, and they'll give helpful (legal) advice and realistic options moving forwards.

Can I suggest you ask your GP about self referring for counselling. I know you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment but you can be supported through this as you look for another post.

Have you considered contacting your school and saying that due to a change in personal circumstances you are unable to return for the autumn term?
People negotiate early leaving dates or leaving without notice all the time.

As a PP pointed out 4 months sick leave will be a huge red flag to a prospective employer.

As you are leaving teaching you'll be looking at going into a new area where you're likely to need training and mentoring. As we all know recruitment and onboarding new staff is costly so employers will want to minimise that risk.

I wasn't asking you.
Perhaps read your words before accusing others of bullying.

🙌🏼🙌🏼 People who are happy in their life don’t spend Sunday mornings on here tearing people down

I’ve also left teaching 🎉 so I don’t blame you one bit.

I wouldn’t have gone sick for a whole term, though. That seems wrong. I have been signed off before, but that was for four weeks in the middle of a summer term when I was really, really unwell.

I'm asking genuine questions meanwhile the one accusing me of bullying called me a 'sad, sad cow'.

I agree with you, you feel stuck when you’re in that position. Sometimes you don’t realise how bad the bullying culture is in a certain school until it’s too late and you can’t do anything except ride it out or go off on the sick.

@thequickbrowndog Please ignore @Werweisswohin they are clearly on one this fine Sunday morning

Stand by all you like, it doesn't change what it is.
A boys secondary could be private or LA, either way the main points stand.
Let's ignore each other from now on, best all round.

As a PP pointed out 4 months sick leave will be a huge red flag to a prospective employer.

I explained in my interview at the next school that "the school and I just weren't suited and I found it difficult to work there". The reply came back from the teacher on the panel "it's ok. We've seen which school you've come from. We're not surprised"

No. Life is too short to stay in a rubbish job with toxic colleagues.
Leave, write your resignation today ready for next week x

You should hand your notice in ASAP. Schools can let you leave earlier than Christmas amd it would ge best all round if they did rather than you going off " sick ".

Well a doctor will sign the sick note so as they are the professional who makes that decision maybe we should leave it up to them?

Not wholly material but the school is most likely an academy funded directly from Whitehall. However, the absence of oversight from an LEA and its Inspectors together with proper HR etc support may play a part in the toxicity of the place. It certainly did in our local comprehensives.

It's the school's management that's allowed the situation @thequickbrowndog describes. The fact that teaching generally has pretty good sick pay is one of its redeeming features. If using it 'screws over' the school that's left them in their current health condition then there's a bit of Karma.

If they go back next week to 'see how it goes' they'll still off sick within a fortnight anyway. My DP was a supply teacher and it was only the first week or two of the Autumn term that was quiet. By week three schools were scrambling for cover as their staff's Mental Health went into a tailspin.

I left last summer. It has hit me this summer holidays how much of the summer break previously would be filled with anxiety and dread about the year to come. I supply teach now. Awful money, so I've had to cut back, but it's completely worth it for the freedom! Good luck to you, there is life after teaching!