I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

It anymore they don’t. Shared parental leave!

Contact your union and get support from them. I would try to be part of the change otherwise this bullying culture just continues and other people will be affected. If you are signing off sick with work related stress the school will be in touch with you frequently and having your union to support you may be helpful.

I didn't say teachers were volunteers.

But she can’t go back in time and is mentally unfit to return to work so 🤷‍♀️

@Werweisswohin it's not your money so don't worry yourself

I was in a similar position but left it too long. Ended up with anxiety and depression. Used to walk to work and pray for a car to knock me down.

This is acedotal but I guess like a lot of professions I do find teaching does seem to attract a certain type of person. Much like police etc does. Obviously not all at all! But people of certain personality types are drawn to it. I've come accross alot of teachers. Some are lovely, and good friends. These are the ones who have actually now largely left teaching. They seem to be in it for the children and joy of actually teaching. A fair few however are very teacher type people, bullying, on a power trip and people I avoid.

I think you'd be wise to take the time to find yourself again. Life is too short for jobs that make you feel like this. Bullying really impacts you and can do long term. I put up with it for nearly 2 years in a previous role. I didn't realise how much I was impacted by it. Even now 3 years since I left the job it causes me anxiety and almost symptoms of ptsd. I'm only beginnning to build confidence now.

Maybe don't rule out teaching. But explore other options too. FE colleges, other schools. Maybe also look at civil service type jobs and the NHS. I work in a role alligned with the latter two and we have had 3 ex teachers join us recently. Loads of transferable skills. They've come in lower down but 1 has already applied for and achieved a higher role. I expect the others may well do too at some point.

A lot of teacher burnout is because they DONT prioritise themselves, keep going, for the sake of their exam groups and end up in a bad way. Just like anyone else the OP will look out for her own wellbeing. I went back for a week in July after mat leave so I'd get paid full salary over the August. Made a big difference to finances in my house but some might argue it's unethical. OP I do hope you might think about trying a different school..if you love the actual teaching there are so many different formats out there. Good luck.

Still not actually answering.
OK then.

@Werweisswohin correct

The rewards of a teaching career seem to have diminished a lot in recent years. The relentless pressure from school leadership to perform and achieve results; the pressure from parents to get results for their children and the increasingly litigious culture of parents storming up to the school to tell you how you are personally responsible if anything goes wrong in any aspect of their child's school career; pupils / classes who can be challenging to teach.

I'm not suggesting that this is true of all schools / SLTs / parents and pupils - but it's a profession that can be very draining. This job increasingly feels thankless. If I had the financial means or could find an alternative job that enabled me to leave, I would too. Good luck, OP, with whatever you decide to do.

Correct, I’m not.
Have I accidentally strayed into a thread where only teachers are allowed to respond?
Apologies if I have.

I’ve just had my first summer without this awful dread! I quit after my maternity leave a few months ago and it is the best feeling ever. I started realising in the last few years that despite people saying how lucky we are to have such long holidays etc, the holiday mode feeling has just about worn off by the time I drive home on the last day and I’m back into full scale panic. I ignored all the signs and my body eventually just went against me and basically refused to go anymore. My symptoms included: panic attacks in the school car park, needing to take beta blockers just to be able to get in the building, panic attacks if the phone in my class rang so when I answered it it was like my voice box had been removed, my hearing went in one ear and I went to the doctor about it and was told it was stress, I had a permanent twitch in one eye, I went part time but spent my days off physically being sick with anxiety anytime I thought about work and eventually the beta blockers weren’t enough and I was taking herbal anxiety medication on top of them (which it says don’t take). This then started to spill over into my daily life and turned into some kind of social anxiety. I couldn’t even go to lunch with friends with having a panic attack if anyone asked me a question. I dreaded every social situation. I avoided going to the supermarket in case I met someone I knew and they wanted to talk. It all sounds so daft now but it was like my body was just broken.

On my last day there was a fight in my class and boys threw chairs at each other. I sent for help and as usual no help came. It was in the afternoon. By the end of the day when the bell rang still no one came to see if I was okay, despite being pregnant too. I was so cool about it though. I just shut my door, packed up my things (didn’t have much there as I knew it was a matter of time by the end) and went home. When I got home I phoned the head to say I wouldn’t be in the next day and was going to speak to the doctor. I ended up off until having my baby and didn’t go back. I have never experienced a single one of these symptoms again since stopping. It’s like my body is so relieved and back to working normally again. Do what you have to do to be happy, life is too short to spend every summer filled with dread!

Because she would have had to give her notice in at the end of May. And maybe at that point she hadn't realised how bad it was getting. Maybe at that point she was thinking I'll be OK, it'll be fine, it's not that bad. Then it was the start of the holidays and a bit of space and time away from it made her realise that no, it won't be OK. And then she started worrying about going back. And at this point it was taking over her life thinking about it.
Maybe that's why.

Will it impact your job opportunities if you have three months off sick? We used to have a score here for absence (not teaching) that would be provided in a reference and if it was high you could have job offers withdrawn. Might be better to work your notice if you can. You’ll probably also be fine if you know you’re leaving and it’s time limited.

It's the not working the notice period tbh, that's doubling the cost of teaching those classes.

Would careers service or similar be an option for you? I read recently that there are 850k NEETs (not in education, employment or training and aged 16-24). I would expect the new government to tackle this soon. Your teaching experience would be extremely valuable in such a role.

Why so invested in being nasty?

You’ve nailed it! I’ve been in teaching since I left university many moons ago, so don’t know if this is true of other professions, but there are so many “managers” with no management experience or training in teaching. Yes, we “manage” classfuls of children, but that’s not the same as managing adults.

Genuine questioning isn't 'nasty'.

OK then, so at a point when she's not being paid for a role that she has no intention of returning to?

That point is now. The point at which returning to work is making her extremely ill and she knows she cannot do it anymore health wise. However it's the school holidays. Effectively the unpaid leave time of year. So when she returns officially at the time her contract states she is to work she will follow the correct procedure. Get a sick note and resign.

You're unlucky. Most schools have cultures nothing like what you describe. If you enjoy the actual teaching, why give it up? Just get a job in a different school.

You really don’t have a clue what it’s like in schools these days if you think it is the fault of the OP that the school is in this position.