Birth order-middle child

[Sizeofthatcroc]

Do you believe in middle child syndrome and different characteristics due to birth order?
I’m the middle child and have also got a couple of friends with three children. I notice something with the middle child, they are often the butt of the jokes in the family, not exactly in a mean way, but they’re often a bit separate from the rest.
incidentally, in these families, the middle children are my favourite/the most likeable

With 3 of more children the oldest is subconsciously more 'precious' as the first and they are used to having parents to themselves for first few years. The youngest is the 'baby' and may get special treatment because of this. Middle ones have neither 'priviledge'. And as I result I think are often the most relaxed and easygoing. Every 3 child family I know, the middle one is the funniest and most motivated.

@Bushmillsbabe Or they feel left out/scapegoated perhaps? I’ve noticed with these families the eldest and youngest seem to get on more and almost gang up on the middle child

I feel this but don't expect I'll get any resolution.

Mine take turns getting on with each other, currently the middle and youngest are getting on best. Middle child is xh favourite, eldest gets blamed for everything by xh. I was the middle child, but because of siblings developmental delays I was mentally the eldest, the most responsible, the one that always helped out. I wouldn't say either growing up or with my kids we had that dynamic. XH family growing up the youngest was the favourite, he might have had that dynamic a bit.

@IridescentShadow Same, this is why I’m curious

I always think it would be interesting to see how my middle child would have turned out if he had been the youngest.

@PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister How did he turn out?

Like @EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness , mine take turns about who gets on best - I think it’s an age gap thing. At certain points age gaps seem to get bigger and then smaller again - they matter more and then less.
It will be interesting to see when they’re adults.

The middle child is the only one who changes birth order. Demoted from baby to another kid 🤣

@Sizeofthatcroc well he’s only 9 at the minute, but he’s very conscious of his place. He likes things that are his rather than communal. He seems to fight for his space in a way the big one and the little one don’t need to.

My middle daughter (now 18) used to be the most draining. She has now passed the baton to her 15 year old sister, who is doing an absolutely sterling job of turning my hair grey.

I noticed at a friends house the other evening, that the eldest boy-11 and the youngest-6, seem to gang up together a little. We were all playing card games and the middle boy-9, asked if he could play, they said no and he said to me ‘Yeah, they hate me’
Also, the mum made jokes about him, obviously not in a mean way, but that collective family way, little one was babyied (spelling) obviously and older one had the freedom and power of being the eldest and able to do more, middle boy didn’t get the choice in the film he wanted to watch, without arguing his point, I felt for him and find he’s the one I like the most

Personally I don't believe in it.

I have three girls, and my middle child and eldest seem to get on the best (and argue the most), even though my middle DD is closer in age to my youngest DD.

To be honest I'm a bit in awe of my middle DD (14) - she studies hard, is talented at art and sport, is empathetic, has loads of friends and is very responsible and capable for her age.

It's her sisters that I find hard work 😂

@JMSA But was there a reason for this, was she trying to gain attention at all?

My eldest is the most sensible headed, and the most shy, he's very chilled, excellent with the youngest. Either best of friends or enemies with the middle child.
My middle child is kind of a cheeky chappy but very sensitive and the more social chappy. Can have a 'I didn't do that vibe' when we all know he did and will eventually admit the same day. He winds up the youngest, they're chalk and cheese. He's also very independent and imaginative.
My youngest is a devil, especially at the age he's at, loves a good tantrum, very sociable to those who are familiar to him, very chatty and also fairly happy to be doing his own thing. He has the blondest curly hair too, with blue eyes, so he fools EVERYBODY! 🤣😂

I am a middle child and I have 3 dc and I think the problem with middle children is they struggle to get noticed. The elder always has an only child stage and then spends the rest of childhood being the oldest, doing things first etc. Then the youngest is forever the ‘baby’ of the family and gets treated differently because of this, the middle child is just stuck in between being ignored.

I try really hard to make sure my middle dc gets a fair share of attention but she is far more independent than the other 2 and always has been. She always reminded
me of Matilda in the film where she can get herself dressed and things as a toddler because dc2 has always been like that too and it makes me wonder if I am a terrible neglectful parent like the mr and Mrs wormwood or if it’s just her personality!

I'm a middle child and I have 3 - bgb. I don't think it's just birth order that has an effect, sex, age gaps and personality are just as important and my dynamic is complicated by the youngest having SEN. My boys have a close bond and often gang up on DD but DD and DS2 also have a close bond and he will seek her out (he will go and get into her bed if he can't sleep). DD (middle) is very confident, independent and argumentative, my boys are more laid back, prefer solitude but get anxious.

It wasn’t like this in my family (I’m the middle child) and it isn’t like it with my middle children now.

I'm the middle of 3 girls. I'd say I'm quite typical middle-child as I'm generally happy, easy going, low maintenance and never required a lot of attention.
But I was also (and probably still am) the funny one.

My middle child of 3 boys is/was by far the easiest, happiest, sociable, kindest, most thoughtful of mine! And still is aged 40. Not that the eldest and youngest were difficult, they were/are all lovely but middle one never gave me a single minutes worry. And he was the youngest for 7 years so was a big change for him which he took in his stride.
Eldest could argue black was white, middle would say “ ok mum”, youngest was more like eldest!

Ah my middle is such a special little girl but I think she’s my most sensitive. I will try hard to make time but it’s hard with 3 and life and ND (me and 2 kids). She knows I adore her.

I'm a middle child (GGB) and am the "performer". Growing up I was the funny one, the entertainer, the "challenge" but I was also like that before my brother was born apparently (I was 3 1/2 when he arrived).

I'm sure I would have been the same if my brother hadn't been born.
As an adult I'm the one that wears my heart on my sleeve but as siblings we all got on very well generally. My parents never visibly favored any of us (no matter what I declared as a disgruntled teen) and we have a very close and supportive family.

I have two boys but would have loved a 3rd. I look at my youngest and wonder what he would have been like as a middle and figure he'd be exactly the same! Chilled, emotionally intelligent, funny as hell. My eldest is more highly strung and affectionate but how much of that is birth order and how much of that is personality?!

I think birth order has a huge effect. There's data to show that eldest children are more likely to earn well and be CEOs. Only children are often quite noticeably less compromising and I believe they are the highest earners of all.

I was at a swimming playdate/ class with 3 siblings & their parents the other day. Kids were 4, 2 and a baby and it was their first time in a pool. The eldest was desperate to get in and kept leaping in so the mum was holding him in the pool making sure he didn't drown. The Dad spent most of his time with the baby because she was so little so obviously needed to be tended to. As a result the middle kid, who was 2 years old, was basically left crying at the side for the whole playdate and never got a chance to even go in! I'm not criticising how the parents dealt with it because i can see they were doing their best but I did wonder how much that dynamic is repeated every day in their home.

Number 3 of 4, so I was briefly a middle child. Out birth order goes bbgg. As children the "gangs" were boys and girls, but as teens it became b1g2, b2g1, abd has re since so into our 50s. We all make jokes about all of us! The eldest and youngest are by far the most confident, outgoing etc.

My middle child is probably the naughtiest but also the most capable (in life skills) and outgoing.