What's the point of an ADHD diagnosis?

[HelpAGirlOut1234]

Just as the title says... what is actually the point if you have no intention of taking medication, or medicating your child.

@HelpAGirlOut1234 so you understand how it can help at a young age, why then don't you understand that a diagnosis as an adult can go a long way to healing some of the hurt and helping the MH issues caused by not being diagnosed as a child?

@TomatoSandwiches well one of the reasons I'm here actually is because a psychiatrist has told me to seek assessment as they fully believe that I have ADHD... but I wanted to know what the benefit to me would be. It wouldn't make my struggle with day to day life any easier in my eyes.

Or more likely you wouldn't be on the spectrum at all. Because you are able to overcome your difficulties. They don't disable you. People who meet the threshold for diagnosis are 'disabled' by their difficulties.

You're doing the whole 'but everyone's a bit like that' routine. Which is really bloody ignorant and disablist as it attempts to minimise and/or dismiss other people's difficulties. It's disgusting.

Maybe you should have opened your post with this?

@TomatoSandwiches and what external help would be available to me as a woman in my mid 30s? I already request certain things in my workplace, because I recognise that I need my work structured in a certain way.

@Justsewsew Why should I have opened my post with this? Why should that have changed the responses?

I don’t think there’s an ADHD person alive who hasn’t had to deal with questions/statements like:

Have you tried <insert obvious item eg/lists>?
Why can’t you just do <insert thing> - it’s not hard?
I’m sure you could if you just tried harder.
You just need to concentrate a bit more.

No one says to an individual with impaired mobility due to let’s say, cerebral palsy - “yeah, but if you just tried a bit harder you wouldn’t need that wheelchair. I saw you standing with sticks last week - if you just worked at it you wouldn’t need that wheelchair at all.”

We all know that would be incredibly offensive and unfair. But ADHD? Apparently it’s fair game. Same for other forms of neurodivergence such as autism.

And there has been an increase in awareness and diagnoses - but it’s still a minority of people. Just because many people, usually women, were previously missed, it doesn’t mean that it’s a sham diagnosis.

Absolutely sick of these insinuations.

OP, if you do actually have ADHD and haven’t ever felt like there’s something wrong with you, haven’t ever wondered why you just can’t do what everyone else seems to manage with ease, haven’t ever beaten yourself up for trying and trying and trying, yet still failing at basic adult life - then you’re a very rare ADHD-er. Most of us who grew up without a diagnosis felt an overwhelming sense of relief when we found out WHY. It doesn’t mean we “use it as an excuse” or stop trying, but it’s much easier to be kind to yourself when you know there’s a genuine reason why it’s harder for you.

If you have ADHD and don’t struggle at all then you’re either incredibly lucky to have a very unusual lifestyle that can easily accommodate the majority of your difficulties - or you don’t have ADHD. The point is that it’s not just “losing your keys” or forgetting appointments or some other minor thing that everyone does, it’s an amalgamation of everything which is all-pervasive, constant, and disruptive. Strategies help but they don’t eliminate the difficulties - no matter how hard you “try”.

You just sound goady.. under the guise of “wanting to be educated”

@HelpAGirlOut1234 you don't seem to understand that the approach taken by your children's school to have adjustment open to all or for your work place to have adjustments available on request is not how it works everywhere. In many workplaces a diagnosis or OT, GP input is also required, for many people just asking doesn't get them anywhere.

Yes you sound a lot like me I have found coping strategies, but my life has been very up and down, successes and failures! I feel at my stage of life though a diagnosis would do nothing apart from provide me with access to meds, which at pushing on to 50 I can't be arsed with. Plus I'm fortunate I run my own busniess so when I'm struggling I can take tine out etc. I don't need an official diagnosis, I know 100% I would get one its glaringly obvious as do my family. As an aside things have become more aparant and diffciult as I navigate perimenopause.

Now my son has ADHD he went down several pathways in primary school but I didn't want him formally labelled or medicated. I have terrible real life experiences in my family with adhd medication, including a death, which influenced my decision. The school however put all the support in place (espcially in primary) and he did all of his exams (GCSEs and A Levels) on a laptop as handwritting is another big issue and in a small quiet room. However my son now has an educational psychologist diagnosis of ADHD along with dyslexia since being at uni (there is possibly more going on too) which gives him suppost via dsa and specialist laptop software, he is considering a psychiatriast diagnosis and he wants to try meds, he's found 1st year at uni much more challenging than he imagined. It's all a bit of a mindfield and i don't have all the answers. I have always advacated though that whatever label an individual has they still need to find a way to function and navigate through life and, to try and follow a path suited to your strengths.

It’s great that you’ve been able to put strategies in place to help with the things you found hard, it also sounds like perhaps you wouldn’t meet the diagnostic threshold.

A person who is short sighted and finds it hard to drive can put strategies in place, they can get glasses and avoid driving in dim light or darkness for example. That doesn’t mean everybody with a visual impairment can employ those same strategies to be able to do the same, nobody would expect a person who is completely blind to be able to find the strategies needed to drive.

ADHD is the same. It’s a broad diagnosis and doesn’t effect everybody the same and the strategies that can help one person won’t necessarilly help another and for some people there won’t always be a strategy which means they can overcome every area of difficulty. Also bear in mind that some people with ADHD will have other diagnosis's as well which can make it more difficult to find the right strategy, for example I have autism and dyspraxia as well as ADHD plus have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and depression so there can often be other things than just ADHD making tasks difficult for me.

Psychiatrist or your Psychiatrist?

That's entirely dependant on you as an individual and your needs.

I'm not sure how old you are but symptoms in ADHD affected women can become worse in the menopausal years, creating issues with your MH and capability to work and maintain homelife.

Legislation takes time to make changes and implement accommodations for disabilities,,,, if you do not have an official diagnosis then these avenues may be closed to you in the future.

You should also consider that if you have ADHD then your children are more likely to have it and or another ND, if they seek a diagnosis they will be asked if they have family members with ND as well.

Perhaps you should take the assessment, this isn't just about you.

But mental health can be managed in some cases by "effort". You're never going to be less visually impaired but your mental health can be improved by diet, exercise and sleep as well as recognising triggers for causing the condition to spiral, taking medication on time etc. It's all about degrees of severity and there are a lot of milder MH conditions that require work on the part of the sufferer.

DS and DSIS have MH conditions (and she is a psychiatrist) so we have a lot of discussions about the rights and responsibilies that come with diagnosis. There is a culture now where people want the rights that come with MH diagnosis but they don't want the responsibilities e.g the challenges to self regulation.

Yes, there is a risk of this, but on the other hand, there is also a n almost guarantee of somebody’s self-esteem and life chances being unnecessarily damaged if they find it difficult to manage life in all of the ways (not just education) that ADHD impacts a person, and they don’t know why. adhd is an invisible disability in a world that is not set up to accommodate it, kind of like going through life carrying heavy weight and not realising it. There seems to be an unspoken presumption in your post that it would be possible to have undiagnosed ADHD and not be significantly disadvantaged by, it I find that difficult to imagine. Information is power, understanding how we work, and what makes us tick allows us to do better in personal relationships, education, and work, managing our own lives and so on.

@HelpAGirlOut1234

There are levels and subtypes of ADHD. DS1 has a diagnosis of 'moderate combined-type ADHD'.

@SpidersAreShithead I have struggled with all of those feelings, still do on occasion, but I guess I'm just stubborn, competitive. I struggle a lot with what I perceive as failure in myself so push myself maybe too much at times and yes, it's exhausting, but I feel satisfaction from overcoming my own shortcomings and knowing they're not impacting my family.

For example, I'm naturally incredibly disorganised. If I lived on my own, I'd likely live in a complete mess. But I don't, so I can't.

I have periods of hyper focus when it comes to work, and then long long periods of total distraction, where I can't even face looking at the task I'm supposed to be doing, it's almost upsetting. If my family didn't need my job, I would likely be unemployable. But they do, so I have structure my work around these behaviours and get on with it.

I struggle with remembering absolutely everything. If i didn't have family and friends who would be hurt by me forgetting important dates, I would just not bother. But I do have them, so I have to have a detailed diary and schedule to keep track of these.

I struggle with active listening and could have a tendency to talk over people. If I wasn't aware of how hurtful this is in my personal life, and how unprofessional it is at work, I would do naturally do this all the time. But I am aware, so I have a strategy for active listening in place.

The list goes on really but I just know I have to manage these things so I don't impact the people around me. To me, it's just been a common sense approach to my shortcomings.

I don't see this with many of the people diagnosed with adhd in my immediate circles.

If I were to receive a diagnosis, then maybe I would be a rare, I don't know.

Not all ADHD requires medication (although it’s often vital).

Having a diagnosis was life changing for me. Before I ever started taking medication it gave me the astonishing gift of knowing I wasn’t a bad person, wasn’t selfish or thoughtless, wasn’t an idiot who failed at basic tasks.

It gave me the gift of knowing that my brain is fundamentally different from the brains of neurotypical people, and that the world is largely designed for them and not me. It gave me access to resources and knowledge that helped me develop strategies to cope.

ADHD is not a MH issue or an illness.
It's a neurological difference.
People with ADHD are already trying our hardest at the things which are difficult for us, but we will never be "cured" (and neither would we want to be) and we don't need to imitate NT behaviour to contribute to society.

What we need is to be accepted for who we are and for our strengths to be embraced and harnessed.

@ZenNudist I agree with a lot of what you have written. There IS a responsibility, and improvements CAN be made by putting in more effort in certain areas.

Unfortunately, I have people who re in my immediate circle who will just throw their hands up and say 'Ah, I cant do that because ADHD', 'Oooops, sorry you've reacted badly to my shitty behaviour, but I have ADHD you know'.

Maybe I'm unlucky with the people in my surroundings though.

If you can just stop being ADHD when it's inconvenient, then you don't actually have ADHD. Do you think everyone with ADHD who has ever lost their job due to distractibility just didn't need the money?

Currently finishing going through an adult diagnosis process, after going through it with DC1 and learning about ADHD

what will a diagnosis do?

well I won’t be telling many people, but now I know what it is, it puts a huge amount of my life into perspective. My constant feeling of being wrong, failing etc since childhood and not understanding who I can’t just do what others do. It reframes your thoughts about yourself.

going through this has also meant I’m no longer just trying (and failing) on a constant loop. I’m finding new coping strategies.

will I medicate as soon as I get that prescription? For sure with the hope it does for me what it has done for others. But it’s not just medication that I’m after.

Being able to put in place strategies to overcome disorganisation and forgetfulness and then consistently maintaining those strategies (without medication) is essentially the opposite of ADHD.

But @MrsSunshine2b if someone with ADHD knows that their traits and behaviours are upsetting to their loved ones, for example the partner who is terrible with money, housework, planning, whatever it may be, why would they not want to put the effort in and eradicate these behaviours? Why should their partner just have to suck this up, accept this and just embrace their strengths, when effort on their part could avoid this hurt in the first place?

@MrsSunshine2b I didn't once say I can just stop my behaviours, it's a constant, sometimes exhausting effort. But I do it continuously because I don't want my behaviours affecting those around me.

Do I fall off the wagon? All.The.Time. Do I get right back on it as soon as I can, or as soon as I see it affecting my loved ones, my job etc? Yes.

@HelpAGirlOut1234 "eradicate these behaviours" 💤💤🤯 honestly just go and educate yourself before coming on here slating people with ADHD and blaming them for their DIAGNOSED CONDITION. If a partner can't cope with someone with ADHD they shouldn't have got together with someone with ADHD.