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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Arse!

67 replies

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:30

So, invited my friend and his children to my parents house abroad, meaning they only had to pay for flights. According to my friend, his kids were buzzing for this holiday of 14 nights. I've fed them, done all the cleaning, taken them on days out when all they did was moan, asking when we were going back, then slothing around on beds on phones. They then accused us of not doing anything with them, but when we do, we get the attitude and disengagement. Ps I have two teenagers of a similar age who are very grateful. My friend asks his kids what they want for lunch every time, even if it's separate. I made the mistake of making everyone sandwiches without asking, and instead of a thank you, I got "wow I didn't know I wanted a sandwich", then get called an asshole. AIBU to expect a bit more respect. My friend has now booked flights 4 days early than planned to get his kids home. Just feel a bit used 😓😓 I'm glad they're going early as they're dragging everyone down, but now lost transport as he was driving and we are remote. Would you be angry? 😓

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:32

Your friends' teens called you an arsehole?😧

DustyLee123 · 22/08/2024 21:32

Has he offered any money for their food etc?

LadyGAgain · 22/08/2024 21:33

YANBU
he needs to parent his children. Step up and say NO.
They're off home early? Another example of his shit parenting.
So sorry you've had to find out this way.

CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:34

I don't understand how you are cleaning and cooking for rude DC who are not your own or even your step children!

ThatTealViewer · 22/08/2024 21:35

CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:32

Your friends' teens called you an arsehole?😧

This. What on Earth?!

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 21:35

We offered to take ds's mate to Portugal years ago. Free trip. Cost his dps a passport.. The most amazing private beach... He declared it just a beach. Ungrateful shit... He and ds got sent home after the first week.

Spirallingdownwards · 22/08/2024 21:36

Tell them they need to find somewhere else as your place isn't up to standard.

Is your "friend" a boyfriend?

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 21:36

Why isn't your friend doing his share of cooking and cleaning, and why isn't he dealing with the poor behaviour from his teens? Has he apologised to you?

Everyoneisdifferent · 22/08/2024 21:37

So what did your friend have to say about his children's appalling behaviour.?
Unless he was extremely apologetic to you and demonstratively trying to get them to behave in a civilised manner towards you he would no longer be a friend of mine.

PamelaD · 22/08/2024 21:38

Arse in the title, asshole in the text. Is this more bot activity?

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:42

CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:32

Your friends' teens called you an arsehole?😧

Yes an he turns 18 in a month! Called me allsorts, claiming I'm trying to be his Mum, I'm an asshole, and I only wanted him here to be babysitter. If he decided to stay home, most nights and some of us wanted to go out (2 nights out of 10 max) that qualifies 😓 oh and now he knows he's going home, he's back to being angelic 🤬🤬

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Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:43

Spirallingdownwards · 22/08/2024 21:36

Tell them they need to find somewhere else as your place isn't up to standard.

Is your "friend" a boyfriend?

No just a friend and we've away camping before. His own dad is shocked x

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:43

PamelaD · 22/08/2024 21:38

Arse in the title, asshole in the text. Is this more bot activity?

?

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Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:44

DustyLee123 · 22/08/2024 21:32

Has he offered any money for their food etc?

Yes, their Dad is lovely, he's ashamed of his son x

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Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:46

Everyoneisdifferent · 22/08/2024 21:37

So what did your friend have to say about his children's appalling behaviour.?
Unless he was extremely apologetic to you and demonstratively trying to get them to behave in a civilised manner towards you he would no longer be a friend of mine.

He forced him to apologise, and he refused initially, but did it in the end. I didn't accept it x

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GedEye · 22/08/2024 21:46

You’re a saint.

I’d have lost my shit way before this.

That is beyond rude and shockingly bad manners. I hope you told him and the parent in no uncertain terms. Minor teenage grumbling about walking say, maybe. The rest is outrageous!

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2024 21:46

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:42

Yes an he turns 18 in a month! Called me allsorts, claiming I'm trying to be his Mum, I'm an asshole, and I only wanted him here to be babysitter. If he decided to stay home, most nights and some of us wanted to go out (2 nights out of 10 max) that qualifies 😓 oh and now he knows he's going home, he's back to being angelic 🤬🤬

WTAF have I read? I would have kicked him, his sibling, and their useless father right out the fucking door. And I mean it.

I certainly hope this "friendship" is over.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:47

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 21:36

Why isn't your friend doing his share of cooking and cleaning, and why isn't he dealing with the poor behaviour from his teens? Has he apologised to you?

He has a severe case of Psoriasis and I didn't fancy eating skin 🤢

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Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:47

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 21:35

We offered to take ds's mate to Portugal years ago. Free trip. Cost his dps a passport.. The most amazing private beach... He declared it just a beach. Ungrateful shit... He and ds got sent home after the first week.

Good x

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GedEye · 22/08/2024 21:48

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2024 21:46

WTAF have I read? I would have kicked him, his sibling, and their useless father right out the fucking door. And I mean it.

I certainly hope this "friendship" is over.

This.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:49

DustyLee123 · 22/08/2024 21:32

Has he offered any money for their food etc?

Yes. It's not him, it's his ungrateful brats x

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Haroldwilson · 22/08/2024 21:50

Not acceptable, obviously.

But I'd bet there's a story behind this - a bad break up, maybe him introducing girlfriends to them then they break up. They probably think you're lined up as a partner and the dad wants them to play happy families but they're still conflicted about the past.

Kids want their parents to spend time with them. They can be rude and sulky if they feel rejected or angry like this.

Doesn't make it ok but I'll bet something like that is behind it. They felt forced into a situation that felt wrong to them.

InTheTrenches88 · 22/08/2024 21:51

Wow. If your friend is lovely and is embarrassed, and also going home early, maybe this is out of character and something else is going on. I'm glad at least the dad can see the behaviour and call it out. I think if an 18 year old decides to be horrible and has zero shame or respect for his dad, there isn't much you can do at this point. How disappointing for you (and his dad).

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:51

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2024 21:46

WTAF have I read? I would have kicked him, his sibling, and their useless father right out the fucking door. And I mean it.

I certainly hope this "friendship" is over.

It's difficult as he's so lovely, which has led his kids to be assholes. He's left me some euros and got food for us as we have no car from tomorrow. He needs to be harder on them but he's struggling how to make up for the fact that he's a single father. He's feels guilty x

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Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:53

Haroldwilson · 22/08/2024 21:50

Not acceptable, obviously.

But I'd bet there's a story behind this - a bad break up, maybe him introducing girlfriends to them then they break up. They probably think you're lined up as a partner and the dad wants them to play happy families but they're still conflicted about the past.

Kids want their parents to spend time with them. They can be rude and sulky if they feel rejected or angry like this.

Doesn't make it ok but I'll bet something like that is behind it. They felt forced into a situation that felt wrong to them.

I said this to him. When his kids go to them, they have his full attention x

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