So, is this unreasonable, I'll set the scene best I can ....
My daughter 15, lived with me pretty much full time all her life, my partner's son 9, lives with us a bit under half the time, for about 5.5 years we've all lived together.
The kids have their own bathroom since November (prior to that we only had 1 bathroom and I did all the cleaning in there). My daughter keeps it clean and tidy most of the time.
Twice a month I get stepson to clean the loo and the sink area ( for context - not IN the loo, just the top porcelain and the seat where he splashed).
As I've said my daughter keeps it relatively clean and tidy anyway and about once a month I deep clean it.
We are teaching him to clean up any mess he makes, so when he uses loo (seat up) if he sprinkles, he wipes it. Sometimes he gets a bit on the back of the seat part. So, the aim of getting him to do a better clean a couple of times a month is to make him aware so hopefully he'll catch it when he does it.
He also manages to get toothpaste spit all over the sink and tap and doesn't always swill it off.
At NO POINT, does he get told off for either of these things, it's life ....we all make a mess. We're trying to get him to be responsible - especially as it's the bathroom he shares with another child.
Now, there are issues with his other parent, she doesn't make him brush his teeth properly (he's had a filling already had a filling and dentist says he needs to brush better) , she also doesn't instill any kind of hygiene, he doesn't wipe his bum properly and has poopy pants almost every time we get him, he doesn't have to wash his hands after the loo there.
Anyway - on Sunday he hadn't done his chores on time (wiped the loo and sink) in time and ended up getting back to hers about 5 minutes late.
She texts us lolling and omg'ing that those are his chores. That we are ridiculous etc etc for MAKING him do that.
I put this on another forum and they genuinely tried to make out I was a 'disgusting Cinderella stepmum for making him clean toilets when he visits' ...he doesn't 'visit' - it's shared custody - he doesn't 'clean toilets ' he wipes the one that he wees on! They said a 9yr old shouldn't be doing that. He's too little. I'm humiliating him and causing him trauma
He gets pocket money for that chore, probably well above the going rate seeing as it's only twice a month!
My 15yr old has known how to clean and how to tidy since before 9 .... Don't get me wrong, typical teenage bedroom looks like a bomb site often, not saying she's perfect AT ALL... but when she tidies and cleans, she knows how to, and she keeps the bathroom very decent.
So, the question is - is it unreasonable to expect a 9yr old boy to wipe the toilet and the sink twice a month, in the bathroom he shares with his 15yr old sister?
If you think it's unreasonable, why? At what age do you think it's appropriate for them to become a respectful member of the family home, leaving the bathroom in a decent manner?