AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

Interestingly my GP, midwife and employer did not think so. Following my hospitalisation for covid in my first trimester, the whooping cough outbreak at my school and my high risk pregnancy, all believed it a sensible precaution until I am at the very least vaccinated in early September.

just want to wish you the best of luck for the remainder of your pregnancy - hope it goes as smoothly as it can - have been there with you with multiple losses and failed IVF attempts - understand how important this is for you xxx

Sending an un-Mumsnetty hug. And a biscuit.

Once again, totally wrong @Mumoftwo1316 . People are more sick then ever because they have damaged their immune systems through Covid infections (especially repeat Covid infections).

All I'm saying is this isn't the mainstream scientific view. I'm not saying it's total bollocks, because new scientific evidence might come to light that completely overturns the mainstream scientific view (unlikely).

A much more straightforward explanation is the mainstream one. Isolating yourself reduces your overall immunity to common illnesses as you don't get up to date exposure to the latest mutations. This was foreseeable in the pandemic and accepted as a necessary evil.

But it is not accepted as necessary in pregnancy now. No mainstream medical advice would tell a pregnant woman to isolate herself from catching any or all common illness. Mainstream medical advice is to live your life as normal, except for basically alcohol and soft cheese.

Nothing, I guess.
Just saying how masks make me feel.
I work in a school , if that makes it relevant?

Thank you. I can't believe I'm actually crying.
Deffo hormonal tears.
Pregnancy number 1 someone made a "good grief" comment about my relationship and I was in bits. I never learn! I should take breaks from MN when Preg 😂

Wear the mask. This is your child and your health (mental and physical). The other children are your work. They are precious and important, but you and your child come first. All the best 😊

You need to get more support from your LM - forward any more e-mails from this parent to them and ask them to deal with it.

It sounds like in this particular pregnancy there are additional risks though due to OP’s immunocompromised status.

At least recognising it is helpful! Certainly helped me get through the rollercoaster 2nd time round being aware of hormonal ups and downs. Be excessively gentle with yourself.

You too, OP!

@Wavescrashingonthebeach honestly should have known better myself than go on MN. Feel bad enough I'm leaving just after their mocks but this morning has been horrible from some people. I don't like when people say people are trolls when they simply disagree but there honestly are some nasty people on this who I really hope are not like that in real life.

YANBU to not disclose why you want to wear a mask, but I do think you need to consider how effective you are at teaching a whole class (or single student) while wearing one.

I don't have hearing loss, I have autism and people wearing masks means I struggle to understand them.
Firstly because I don't understand nuances and while I'm not good at body language either, being able to see someone's mouth when they're talking at least gives me a clue.
But more important, I have sensory processing issues, I struggle to concentrate on a voice among other audible distractions (such as a clock ticking) when the voice isn't muffled. If the voice is muffled by a mask then I don't stand a chance.
And there are lots out there like me with similar sensory issues, many not yet diagnosed.

That depends on the mask, surely?

If you were wearing a t-shirt with a political slogan or obviously sexualised clothing, the parent might reasonably object, but it's absurd to object to a mask on the basis that little Johnny does not like it.

It's sad isn't it. Please don't feel bad about leaving your students after their mocks! You sound like an amazing teacher!
Honestly though, pregnancy hormones and sarky little remarks on here mix as well as oil and water! It's weird stuff that wouldn't normally bother you in the slightest can get to you. You're only trying to do what's best for your health and your baby any one can see that- and people can RESPECTFULLY agree to disagree with each other

I have spoken to all my students individually that have SEN and explained that the can contact me at any point to clarify if they are unsure. For a number if years since lockdown my powerpoints and resources have all had audio and captions so pupils can go back and look at them or wear headphones and listen to that instead of me in class if they prefer. Having had to wear a mask for almost two years of teaching and having been an educator for 18 years I know I am effective and can recognise quite quickly when a pupil is not understanding it. The first 5 years of my teaching was spent primarily in an SEN and autism unit, so in that regard I do not feel my mask wearing will be an issue

👏👏👏👏

Totally agree.

The parent needs to be told it's for a health need, it's none of her business and her child can be moved class if it's affecting them.

Those saying FFP grade masks are useless may want to inform all those wearing them to stop inhaling dust!

The exact use of them is prevent you from inhaling something that can impact your respiratory system!

Perhaps you could ask MN to change your post title. Because it definitely meant I went in to the post thinking you were asking if you were unreasonable for wearing a mask. And that thought has stuck in my mind

Why do so many people seem to have decided that a child not liking a
Teacher wearing a mask would trump the teachers medical need to wear one?

Op I'm guessing you are a science teacher or similar due to your comments about no supply teachers. It is better than you are there in a mask then a general supply teacher teaching a core subject at gcse.

Sorry but I've simply explained why you wearing a mask would have affected my learning. And tbh all the other stuff you mention, PowerPoint etc, would also have affected my learning and would for many autistic people. Far too many distractions if everyone is "doing their own thing" as opposed to everyone doing the same thing and being actively taught by a teacher.

I am autistic and I have explained to you how people wearing masks has affected my ability to learn and communicate.

Again you are not being unreasonable not to divulge your reason for wearing a mask, but you do need to accept that you are not as effective a teacher while wearing one.

Just to add, that the teachers in the local special schools and autism units here did not wear masks for that very reason

@ChristmasPostman

this 👆 Soz

who do you thinks mental state is more important?

Best wishes for your pregnancy @EmsHugs . Sorry you’ve had such a hard time on here. I completely understand why after years of infertility, a high risk pregnancy and seriously ill with Covid so recently, you would need to reduce the risk of getting it again. Quite apart from any issues for your baby, presumably you wouldn’t want to feel debilitated from Covid for potentially weeks or months as you prepare to give birth.

You sound like a brilliant teacher who’s fully aware of how to meet students’ varying needs. And continuing to teach when you would be totally reasonable in taking time off.

It’s very sad that an individual wearing a mask seems to provoke extreme reactions. The OP wasn’t asking anyone else to wear a mask! Suspect this was something to do with the mixed public health messages during the pandemic, but it’s a sad state of affairs for people who are only trying to protect their health.

Respectfully I appreciate you as a learner would have felt as you did and that is fine Everyone's experience was different. However in this instance I am simply pointing out that in my setting I know my pupils and their needs better than you do and as such they have tailored learning plans, depending on what works best for them. As someone with autism you will sppreciate no two pupils are the same so you stating you have autism doesn't mean you know what works best for my subject or pupils and I do not say that to in any way undermine you but I am also using my experience and feedback from a wide range of Austistic pupils, parents and experts too. At my school we continued to wear masks in the units too but pupils did not have to wear them