AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

If the doctor/midwife has told op she must wear it, then hopefully that sets her mind at rest.

This particular comment of mine was in response to a pp who says people in general are getting summer colds more because covid has weakened our immune system.

That's not mainstream science and therefore is, as far as current understanding goes, misinformation. And in my opinion medical misinformation is harmful.

Specifically I am convinced that isolating from common illnesses is harmful to your newborn.

You can't isolate your newborn (unless you're going to have an unattended home birth and no midwife or family visits, or something) and so the newborn baby will be exposed to colds and other common viruses, so it's better to confer as much immunity to common colds to the unborn baby as possible.

I say this as someone whose newborn had a scary few weeks due to a common cold that his little body couldn't handle well.

Op has spoken to her GP who didn't specifically recommend masking (but implied she could if she wanted). The GP also didn't suggest bringing the standard vaccines forward.

Op is doing all this outside and beyond medical advice. Perhaps partly due to Internet misinformation about "Covid weakening our immune systems".

Mainstream medical advice is for pregnant women to live their lives as normal. Including catching the ordinary amount of coughs and colds that you would usually catch.

Follow the medical advice and let your employer handle the complaining parent. There’s always one. Some really unpleasant comments on this thread. My DD has been floored by Covid recently and isn’t pregnant. Good wishes for the rest of your pregnancy.

I totally understand your thinking and while common colds etc would have made me a wee bit nervous, I still see the merit in just getting on with it. One of my best friend's is a paediatric consultant and worked through covid in her second pregnancy. She was also vaccinated and masked throughout but she is very common sense led and would say the same however she was very particular that no one visit her newborn if they had any coughs etc and she even worse a mask herself when breastfeeding etc when she had a cold sore as it can be very dangerous to a new baby.
My big concern was just how ill I was from covid earlier this year and even after that a cold during the summer knocked me out. Having already been immuno compromised as a teen, being so cautious during covid due to my FIL and SIL and probably losinga bit of immunity there too then the toll.on my body from IVFs, miscarriages and then severe morning sickness ,I'm just giving myself so extra protection for a bit, atleast until the vaccines next month

Well yes exactly that's what I understood, so it's useless? Everyone else needs to wear one. Otherwise it's just a mini comfort blanket

Frankly most of the responses on this thread just show how badly the British public has been let down by public health information.

@Mumoftwo1316

OP can do what she likes 👍

No you are wrong. GP and midwife both said it was okay and while my GP was quite laid back at first after consultation with the midwife said it would be a 'sensible precaution'. The Whooping and RSV are being done exactly when they should as I don't believe they are done earlier. My local GP has me getting Flu and Covid in the first week my surgery offers them.

Truthfully, whilst they are excellent at preventing you spreading an infection, they are much less effective at stopping you getting one.

I'm not sure that's true tbh.

Indeed.

Well, it’s a mask or a teaching assistant covering her classes.

For the people whom are saying that the learning of students with autism would be impacted by the OP wearing a mask, she has already taken the needs of all her students into account. We're not talking about a primary school teacher who is with the same class of children every single day, but a subject specialist in a secondary school who presumably doesn't deliver more than about four lessons to any group of students in a week. I think that any issues which the mask may cause to a very small number of students is rather eclipsed by the benefits of the OP continuing to teach for the next few weeks until she gets her vaccinations. Bearing in mind she teaches a shortage subject, it is likely that it will be extremely difficult to find supply cover if she has to go off sick because she is browbeaten into not wearing her mask.

OP hasn't taken the attitude that she can do what she wants either though, she's spoken to her boss already and discussed this. No teacher can just do what they like, in many situations.

Exactly. The OP wants to wear a mask and her employer is fine with that. No problem.

Of course it is. There may be consequences to her chosen course of action, but in this case there won't be because the school have sided with her.

No, not exactly.
You suggested OP could do as she liked. She can't and seems fully aware of that fact.

If OP thought she could just do what she liked then she wouldn't have spoken to her boss or asked us for opinions. 🫣

Keep all your windows and door open in your classroom. Wear a proper, full protection mask when circulating the room and communicating with individual pupils. Do live-marking. Remove mask when teaching from the front. Use lots of non-verbal communication when explaining/setting up tasks.
SLT should not divulge your private health information to parents unless you consent. I would say keeping your health anxiety at a minimum is paramount and your employers should support this. Do you have a union rep at your school, should you need?
SLT could and should state their support of you in their communication with the parent and could suggest that the child is temporarily placed in an alternative group/teacher for the duration.

HTH op, and best of luck with your pregnancy :)

It was @Mumoftwo1316 who suggested it, I simply thanked the comment.

Is thanking not agreeing with?
🫣
I'm past caring tbh.
I wish OP well.

Fair enough. I had inferred from the OP that she had made her choice and the school understood it, not that there had necessarily been a prior discussion. But your interpretation is just as likely to be right as mine!

As for asking MN, though, she has made it quite clear that she is happy with her decision to wear a mask and won't be changing her mind. What she wanted opinions on was whether it was OK for the school to tell complaining parent the reasons for her wearing a mask. It absolutely is not OK to give out someone's private information unless they agree to it.

There are loads of scientific papers and studies showing the harm Covid does to your immunity and your body as a whole. There are none showing that it actively benefits you.

Although not a scientific paper, I think this article https://healthjournalism.org/blog/2022/12/why-using-the-term-immunity-debt-is-problematic-for-reporters/ is good at explaining what “immunity debt” actually refers to. It’s really easy to see how a few people have twisted things, and the public (understandably) are desperate to cling on to anything that tells them Covid isn’t a bad thing / they can carry on as they like without consequence.

@Werweisswohin

why?

especially give that she has the backing of the school.

She totally can do something that affects her and her only. It her body, her face. she can keep wearing her mask

OP I wish my daughter had such a wonderful example of someone who was taking illness seriously and putting their health ahead of peer pressure. Some of the posts on this thread have made me want to cry they are so ableist and lacking in care and compassion. And also completely medically ignorant. Don’t give in to them, please.