AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

YANBU

I know one teacher who was off from late Feb right until summer having been knocked for six with a chest infection. Another teacher had to teach in downstairs classrooms following their return from covid because it affected their chest so much they were breathless walking upstairs. Both previously fit and healthy.

In an ideal world, people wouldn't be pressured to attend work / school when ill, and public places such as classrooms would have HEPA filters - both measures which would reduce the level of viruses circulating.

I couldn't care less if anyone else wants to wear a mask just don't make me wear one. There's no way I'd be wearing one all day. Briefly for certain situations I'd tolerate it if I had to.

The masks may protect op from the inconvenience/annoyance of the common cold.

But then her baby will be born with none of the common recent cold antibodies. The baby will be so vulnerable.

Please believe me, a 1 week old catching a nasty cold is much worse than having a cold when pregnant. Newborn babies can die of colds.

Whereas it's extremely rare/unlikely for a pregnancy to be adversely affected by a common/mild cold.

Catch colds now, to protect your newborn later.

This will also be the reason pregnant women are being encouraged to have the new RSV vaccine; so that the antibodies cross the placenta and protect their eventual newborn.

This thread is really bonkers. The OP has said that none of the children she teaches has a hearing loss. The classroom does not have opening windows or an air filtration system. She teaches in a secondary school so all of her students will have experienced being taught by teachers wearing masks during the pandemic. The OP is wearing an FFP3 mask, not a flimsy paper one, and this is supported by her school. She plans to wear the mask until she has vaccinations next month. OP has lived with being immuno compromised for some time, has had significant issues with previous pregnancies, and is now midway through a high risk pregnancy. OP has explained how difficult it would be for her school to find supply cover for her (and I'm well aware from my own work that it's almost impossible to find teachers in some subjects at the moment).

But people are accusing her of health anxiety, telling her to open a window, the mask won't protect her, she will be affecting the hordes of hearing impaired children she is teaching - and best of all, most people aren't even addressing the question she was asking.

OP - no, of course you shouldn't have to explain the reasons why you are wearing a mask to the parents of the one child out of 500 who is complaining! Your first responsibility is to do whatever you feel is necessary to protect your unborn baby. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

You are totally not being unreasonable. Anyone should be able to protect their health by wearing a mask if they choose. Everyone has a legal right to safety at work and coming into contact with large numbers of children with potential health conditions including Covid is a genuine risk given your medical history. You should not have to explain your reasons to anyone and this parent quite honestly sounds very ignorant and a bully. If their child finds people in masks, many of whom are disabled, to be anxiety inducing then the parent needs to support their child to realise the needs of others are things we need to embrace rather than be afraid of.

Posters here who are challenging you should remember that pregnancy is a protected characteristic under the equalities act. Wearing a mask would be viewed as a reasonable adjustment and preventing you from doing so could be legally challenged as discrimination.

Your employer shouldn’t be expecting you to disclose your health information to anyone to justify reasonable adjustments such as mask wearing.
if your employer isn’t behind you on this, speak to your union.

Does anyone else think that this parent is such a pain in the arse that if it wasn't the mask, it would be something else? Thinking of some of the batshit complaints I had as a teacher.

Yes!!

A common cold is not my concern but I had covid at the beginning of my pregnancy and was hospitalised as I had bad fever and was struggling to breathe. There was a surge in whooping cough cased prior to the summer and I am worried about that again especially as I have yet to have my vaccination against that. I fully understand the benefit of passing on some antibodies to your child but many parents send their children in with viruses etc with little though to other children and staff. We have already had one case of whooping cough reported already this morning and I was informed someone in the class has covid but not been bad so come in but to let them leave if they feel off. My niece was also hospitalised with pneumonia at 2 weeks so I know how awful it can be watching your newborn be so sick.

To describe it another way:

Catching mild illnesses when pregnant is like a cheat's way of giving your baby temporary immunity when born.

It means the baby doesn't have to endure the illness himself, but gets the antibodies as if he did.

The alternative is letting the baby be born with no immunity, so the poor baby has to endure the illnesses firsthand in order to build antibodies himself, with his own immune system.

It is so awful when your newborn has a cold. My baby had one, went through periods of holding his breath for ages because coughing was so uncomfortable. It was literally just an ordinary cold but because he was only 1 week old, we thought it would kill him. It didn't kill him, and he's now immune to that particular cold, but if only I'd caught it a month earlier, he'd have been immune to it already.

You can't catch em all but you can catch as many as possible to give your baby the best immunity you can.

Op, you really must expose yourself to mild colds to protect your baby later.

As long as the kidscan hear you clear,y I don't seean issue. As someone who is hard of hearing the mask mandate made things very difficult for me as couldn't lip read

Yeah RSV, Whooping Covid and Flu. Two are being done at my 20 or rather w1 week scan in Sept but the other two are from my GP who doesn't start them until mid Sept

Wear the mask - do anything you can to minimise any risks.

My daughter was about 24 weeks pregnant (close to the last trimester) in September 2020 and did not want her daughter to return to school that September after the long time that the school was taking key worker children only. DGD had not been in school since the first school restrictions.

She was told that her daughter would be deregistered if she didn't attend.

So she felt that she had no choice but to send her in.

My daughter had Covid during the extended (three week) October half term (many school staff had Covid at this time). She was hallucinating and very ill. An ambulance was called on two occasions and both times they advised her she would be better off at home because 'she didn't want to be in hospital'.

She went into labour on a Sunday and presented herself at hospital - she was isolated (a zipped up room) and was still testing positive. She was told that she would not give birth within the next fortnight despite contractions every 7 mins (waters intact). She was sent home. She spent all night awake and in agony, knowing she was in labour (3rd child).

The next day she had her baby after her midwife was called who told her the head was crowning - he was 8 weeks early. He was born in the hospital corridor.

He has an area of brain damage which has led to seizures. He is nearly 4 years old and has the mental capacity of an 18 month old. He is affected by daily seizures and weakness afterwards. He had just started to put two words together but a large seizure earlier in the summer took his speech. His walking has deteriorated - he needs some sort of protection as he is black and blue because of falls (chipped front teeth, constant grazes and bruising). We think the seizures are causing more damage.

We don't know at this moment what caused the area of damage because no one will tell us.

We are frightened for his future.

Some time after the birth she was asked to take part in some medical research (letter) because she was covid positive during pregnancy/birth - which she refused because she was still so angry at the way she had been treated throughout the last few weeks of her pregnancy.

We are waiting for results of genetic testing - but my daughter is convinced the trauma she suffered around the time of birth is the cause of the brain damage. He was born 'floppy' and still lacks muscle tone - (he has low axial tone diagnosed, along with global development delay and other things).

@Mumoftwo1316 Please stop giving such dangerous advice. No matter how much you want to pretend it is, Covid is not a cold. It’s is SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). The clue is literally in the name. In a large number of people it causes long-standing respiratory, neurological, cardiovascular and a whole load of other problems. There is absolutely no benefit to her or her baby catching it. The best thing the OP can do to protect her and her baby’s health is to not get Covid (or at least get Covid as few times as she is able to).

Yes I agree it’s one of those parents.

OP has explained to the pupil that she needs to wear a mask and they seemed to accept it. But the parent won’t let it drop apparently, though it’s not actually something they can insist on.

Your first responsibility is to do whatever you feel is necessary to protect your unborn baby.

I strongly agree. But gaining as much immunity as she can, is the best way to do this.

I would rather have a very uncomfortable pregnancy to help prevent an unwell newborn.

Agree with this and I notice myself now when I get sick, how a cold now will linger for so long. Others have commented on this too. A cold used to last a few days, now it's a few weeks

But "protecting herself from covid", she is also isolating herself from all other respiratory illness.

Instead she should get the covid booster, and catch colds.

I really feel for you, OP. Can you ask your GP/surgery to bring the immunisations forward, explain the situation?

'many parents send their children in with viruses etc with little though to other children and staff'

Many parents have been reprimanded by schools for poor attendance because their children have had repeated viruses.

I think you should be allowed to wear one, and have a right to wear one. If parents complain, that’s up to the school to adjudicate - but don’t let a single parent dictate what you feel is best for your personal health. Does your school have a policy/risk assessment for staff who are pregnant?
@EmsHugs

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/covid-19/covid-19-symptoms-and-what-to-do/

'What to do if you have symptoms of COVID-19

Try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people if you or your child have symptoms and either:

• have a high temperature
• do not feel well enough to go to work, school, childcare, or do your normal activities

You can go back to your normal activities when you feel better or do not have a high temperature.

If your child has mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat or mild cough, and they feel well enough, they can go to school or childcare.'

(my bold).

So, should children go to school or not with Covid?

It depends what type of mask it is.

The parents are the ones claiming 'anxiety' for their dear child, was that child 'anxious' by mask wearing during the pandemic? A teacher's health and well being trumps hysterical, trouble-making parents, if they don't like it then they can move their precious child.

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