AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

It’s really very simple. Getting sick doesn’t prevent you getting sick (or indeed your unborn child). You may get some immunity against the specific strain you just got, but it does nothing for different types of strains or different types of viruses. Then every time you get a virus it negatively affects your immune system (because your immune system is not a “muscle” that needs repeatedly working out!). Sometimes it will only affect it little bit, but viruses like Covid absolutely batter your immune system. Hence why people who get Covid, then later get “just a cold” will suffer for much longer/in a worse way than they previously did pre-Covid infection.

'You may get some immunity against the specific strain you just got, but it does nothing for different types of strains or different types of viruses.'

Exposure to type A or type B flu as a child confers at least some measure of lifelong immunity.

@ArabellaScott Whether they should go back to school from a moral / scientific point of view, then absolutely not. They are still contagious and just because they feel ok, does not mean the people they pass it onto will be ok.

Politically, we have been told to to send kids back because we want their parents to be back at work as soon as possible. But this is a false economy, because the less we do to prevent the spread of the virus, the more people will go off sick. If everyone took a little bit more responsibility and stayed away from people until they’re definitely not contagious, or at the very least wore a good mask in that last day or two of infection, then the cycle would rapidly slow down. People would then not acquire as many infections and would then not pass on as many infections. But the government (and employers!) are doing nothing to help this in terms of explaining the importance of this and providing adequate sick pay etc. So we go round and round in circles…

You shouldn't be dealing with these complaints, this is now a matter for SLT. Any contact you get from this parent should just be forwarded onto your line manager and given no further thought.

It is literally not your problem.

Why is it different??

OP has a right to address her own health concerns as she sees fit.

The people telling you not to mask are entitled bonkers, OP.

I'm sure if the high school students sit still and listen attentively, they'll manage.

I'm sorry for your family's experience and I wish your grandson all the best for the future. People remember schools and nurseries being closed in the pandemic (often misremebering how long it lasted too - my eldest stopped nursery in March 2020 and was back in the building in June 2020) but what I remember from the second wave is how badly pregnant teachers were treated. The official advice was for teachers to WFH in the third trimester but as it was just advice schools didn't need to follow it and I don't know a single primary that did.

Yes of course. I spend a fair bit of my working life dealing with complaints from parents and most schools seem to have one or two serial complainers who will find anything to complain about.

Maybe take time off sick if your school is already back until you've had the injections? As you've been advised by your medical team that you have to wear a mask, it's irrelevant what a parent says and your school should be making it clear without revealing your pregnancy.

What will happen when you go on maternity leave? Will your subject not be taught until you return? Surely parents would want to avoid this so should be supporting your adaptions to stay in the role as long as possible?

The parents are just being nasty. Covid has become so politicised in many countries and it sounds like they are trying to make a point. If you want to wear a mask, wear one. It is a very small adjustment at work that is probably pointless but makes you feel safer. I say this as someone who can’t help but feel slightly angry when I see someone in a mask but I also think that people should have the freedom to wear one if they want to.

you absolutely do not owe the parent an explanation. You have a health condition, you need to wear a mask. End of. Coming from a different country with a very different attitude to mask wearing, a teacher wearing a mask would not be a big deal at all and in fact, kids with respiratory illnesses are still being encouraged to wear masks and only recently stopped being required to at myDC school. People are a lot more tolerant of different People’s comfort levels with illness.

I think a lot of people have simply misunderstood the hygiene theory about healthy exposure to environmental bacteria. There was an Olympic athlete who was hoping to strengthen himself for e-coli in the Seine during the triathlon by not washing his hands after going to the loo (!). That's the level of health misinformation we have reached. Now people here telling a pregnant woman she needs to catch viral illnesses while pregnant to help her baby. We're all just Donald Trump talking about drinking bleach now.

There are about 400 trillion viruses living in your body right now. That's not a joke figure. Regardless of how you behave you will be full of them and exposed just by virtue of living, but they are not all equal. Trying to avoid a potentially deadly or disabling virus like Covid by using respiratory protection doesn't mean you are living in a bubble. Also, if having Covid again and again works as protection against having Covid, why is everyone so ill all the time? I've never seen so much "summer illness" around like in the last few years.

@EmsHugs - have you thought about a fade shield? They are clear so the pupils can see your face but will provide some protection I would think ?

If you're a teacher you will be exposed to viruses and I'm not sure a mask will offer enough protection. Of course immuno compromised should be allowed to wear one but is it actually enough? Could the school find a role that lessened risks for the OP?

@CloudPop The face shields can sometimes be worse than using nothing. Same with when the shops / workplaces added those plastic shields around workers. This is because they reduce ventilation (effectively trapping the dodgy air in one place, rather than letting it “blow away” / diffuse, if that makes sense?). Whereas proper masks (FFP2 etc) never let the dodgy stuff in in the first place!

Fair point.

Hope that didn’t come across badly. I’m always up for discussing solutions with people! There’s a teacher at my kids’ school who wore one for ages, and I felt so bad because she was clearly wanting to do the right thing by people.

OP, I'm very surprised at rhe lack of support you've getting here. I think you are being entirely reasonable. I hope your school
Is being supportive.

The whole situation sounds so stressful for you - ultimately, school have agreed that it's a reasonable adjustment so the parent has no leg to stand on and no right whatsoever to your private medical information.

Are the complaints coming direct to you, or via SLT? I think you'd be totally within your rights to ask SLT to stop passing any complaints on to you, even just to inform you they're happening (as I imagine just knowing it's still ongoing is stressful) if they're coming to SLT, or asking that the parent is blocked from emailing you if they're coming directly. You shouldn't be subject to harassment at work, which is what this sounds like at this stage.

Clearly you know absolutely nothing about health matters. First, for a small proportion of the population, including this teacher, catching COVID can be fatal because of the ineffectiveness of vaccines.Second, the right type of mask DOES provide close on 100% protection for the wearer.

You seem to have an incredibly selfish attitude towards others trying to protect themselves from serious illness or death.

Best check your facts, which are entirely wrong. The right type of mask (FFP3) will provide close on 100% protection for the wearer.

I can't believe the selfishness, arrogance and ignorance on this thread - and the callousness towards a poor teacher trying to protect her life. In some people, Covid can actually be a death sentence because of underlying conditions and immunosuppression causing vaccines not to work.

YABU because you don’t “need” to wear a mask as you state. It’s a personal preference. And as you’ve already had Covid once during this pregnancy and the baby was unaffected why on earth do you now think you “need” to wear a mask? It’s your preference to wear one and it’s the pupils and parents preference to see your face and not to have their anxieties sparked by your clinging to this Covid relic. Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario? Your worries are understandable given your history but I don’t think you should be letting them control you. You should be modelling sensible evidence led practice as a teacher surely? I wouldn’t be thrilled with you teaching my child.

You seem to be unaware that OP has actually already caught Covid and miraculously survived. Her current immunity status should therefore be pretty good.

Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario?

The teacher's. The school needs her in that classroom more than they need to placate a vexatious parent.

What knowledge do you have of this teacher's immune status? Are you an immunologist? Are you aware of the different mutations of Covid?

Clearly this is a subject of which you have little or no knowledge - take it from me, those who have compromised immune systems or underlying conditions are following very specific medical advice from their consultants to mask. Their lives depend on it.

If the risk to both physical and mental health is as serious as stated then I think school should find a different role for OP for the next couple of months. Stress is also not good for a pregnancy.

Take care, OP, wishing you a smooth and comfortable rest of your pregnancy.