AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

If you are that scared of catching something that you need to wear a mask, then you shouldn't leave your bedroom.

Facial expressions are essential for children and I'm not sure how you can teach mumbling behind a mask.

I understand that. This why on feedback from my adhd students I have audio commentary and subtitles on all my PowerPoint and notes as many adhd pupils prefer headphones in class or the option to go abcka nd look at things from class later. I'm sorry your last two years in class were not so positive. The issue is not me wearing the mask I have made that decision to do so to protect myself, ease my anxiety and to reduce my risk of catching anything until I very least have my vaccinations to protect my baby who is very very much wanted. You will also appreciate the impact of staff being off, so the mask is a compromise to make me feel safer while staying at work rather than leaving 500 students with no specialist teacher for 4-6 weeks.

Well said @JustAVeryWeirdWoman . It always boils down to videos they’ve seen on YouTube 🙄. Likewise, as a family we’ve continued to mask and take other precautions (ventilation; HEPA when one child was ill) and apart from one child once (and we know exactly how he got ill 🤬) we’ve been illness-free. We even work in extremely high-risk Covid settings! But nobody wants to connect the dots. All we get told is how “lucky” we are, while colleagues are permanently off sick and classmates miss weeks of school 😢. But anyway, that’s a thread for another day…

I'm sorry for your previous infertility issues and congratulations on your pregnancy.
Personally I feel the lack of oxygen the mask causes is a higher danger. I was pregnant at the height of the original covid pandemic and didn't wear a mask apart from at NHS appointments out of solidarity for the staff. Didn't wear them in supermarkets or anywhere else. Couldn't breathe with them on.
To be honest I was out every day walking the dog that was the best thing for my immune system. I didn't get any of the jabs either.
My friends who were obsessed with masks and got vaxxed all are now constantly ill and so are their kids whereas me and my 2 boys have a robust immune system.

Well that’s all rubbish. Of course they work. They don’t work when they are not worn or worn properly (which is what the research says) - but that’s blummin obvious right?!

There is no lack of oxygen with a mask. You can test it yourself with pulse oximetry.
You do not build an immune system by constantly attacking it - it’s not a muscle. Sheesh. Public health messaging has been so poor 🤦🏽‍♀️

I kind of agree, but isn't there a consideration that OP's mask wearing is itself a type of anxiety, and her asking for understanding is asking for accommodation?

Maybe we all need to cut each other a bit more slack.

I think you should be able to wear a mask, OP, although this can be difficult for pupils for various reasons, I can also understand this is stressful for you.

Wishing you well with your pregnancy, and I hope you can find a way through the school situation.

wearing FPP3 masks was accepted as a reasonable adjustments by my school

Case closed then. The school have agreed it is a reasonable adjustment, they should now be making it clear to the complaining parent that the situation will remain as it is, and they need to do this without divulging any of your personal information (unless you agree to it).

If I was a member of the SLT I would probably politely explain to the parent that further complaints will not be entertained or responded to in any way.

Well I couldn't breathe with one on when I was pregnant. I couldn't bear them. And yes you can build your immune system thats exactly what we do gradually from birth is slowly build on our immune system.
Sheesh ffs don't patronise me

Surely you wouldn’t have expected someone who is pregnant and vulnerable to not wear a mask though just because you have ADHD?

There is no way I’d go back to teaching now without being able to mask. Especially with the new attendance stuff which means kids are sent to school sick (more than they used to be).
Getting infections after infections doesn’t build up the immune system (I think this is the biggest fallacy to come out of the pandemic - the absolutely awful understanding of health - it’s almost like adding “illness is health” into “1984”.)
Stick to your guns and do what you feel is correct. Because you are the only one who has to live with the consequences. School will just replace you. Kid will get another teacher. Your life and health is more important.

I have only ever found cover teachers for a practical lesson worth having if you can get a specialist in. Otherwise a standard cover teacher just isn't good enough.

This parent is probably an anti-masker / anti-vaxxer so just try and ignore them. Seems many on this thread… The school is supportive so stick to your guns. Can you report the parent for harassment if they continue? Your headteacher needs to be protecting you. If it carries on can you get signed off sick by your GP due to the anxiety of it and your condition?

The parent has a problem. Maybe she would prefer a string of daily supply teachers or unqualified staff to teach your subject.

You sound like a fantastic teacher. You have done a great deal to mitigate any problems and concerns your students may encounter.

Eyes play a big part in facial gestures and can be easily read and not hindered by a mask.

Do parents have the same problems with people who have beards and moustaches?

My mum was deaf but stated that the eyes conveyed the meaning and the emotion of a conversation.

Please continue to look after yourself and the baby. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and you and your baby keep well.

I've only read the op's updates so apologies if this has already been mentioned.

Op, after your baby is born, he/she retains the antibodies from pregnancy for 6-12 months. So for example, if you catch a cold, the antibodies from that particular cold will protect your baby after he is born.

It is a good thing for your baby, if you catch coughs and colds when you are pregnant.

If your baby is born without the common antibodies to coughs and colds, they will be more vulnerable than an average baby.

Please do not isolate yourself from common mild illnesses while pregnant, it's not the best thing for your baby.

(Edit for grammar)

Ffp2 or ffp3 masks provide excellent protection to the wearer, so ignore the naysayers on this point. (This is extremely well researched and these type of masks have been used to prevent airborne transmission to the wearer for many years, before the pandemic.)

As someone who is also particularly vulnerable to infection, as is my teenage child, I 100% support you in protecting yourself and your pregnancy from a preventable infection.
You are being completely reasonable, whilst I understand mask wearing masks some people around you anxious, your health is the priority.
Support can be put in place for those who find it difficult to cope seeing other people protecting themselves.
Please don’t let these people prevent you from protecting yourself.

Some things you can do to protect yourself (and your students) in addition to a well fitting ffp2/ffp3 mask, opening windows where possible and HEPA filters in your class room.

This.
And also, breastfeeding is amazing for building your babies immune system. If your worried about illnesses the best thing you can do is breastfeed if you can

I honestly feel that if your pregnancy is high risk you should consider going off sick so that you don’t have to endure the stress of this any more, it can’t be good for you. Also schools are not healthy places at the best of times. I used to work as a TA and we were always catching viruses from the pupils as had to sit close to them.

The management team should be advocating for you. I applaud the fact that you are trying to be diligent for the sake of your pupils and don’t want to take sick leave when you don’t feel sick. But if the school can’t protect you from parental complaints during a high risk pregnancy I would be putting my own physical & mental health before the needs of the school at this particular time.

Totally agree @Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic . Public health messaging in the U.K. has been consistently appalling. There were so many opportunities to explain things better. Whether it’s how the virus spreads (airborne and what that means in simple terms), how you protect yourselves from that (ventilation and good quality masking, then explaining how masks work; it’s concerning that people think they cause a lack of oxygen!), explaining vaccinations (amazing for stopping hundreds of people dying a day, but they don’t stop you catching Covid and the jury’s still out on if/how they protect against long covid) onto actually explaining what Covid does long term (pretty much everyone I know in real life has no idea about the long-terms harms of Covid infections, or they believe Covid isn’t dangerous for kids 🤯. Although I’m not sure whether they genuinely believe that or just don’t want to face reality). It’s such a shame, because there have been so many missed opportunities to educate and therefore protect the public 😞.

My sons teacher still wears a mask sometimes - she has an immune condition. No one bats an eyelid, I don't understand why anyone would have an issue.

But my very own GP has told me that children missing out on exposure to infections over covid/lockdown means they are now dealing with less mature immune systems, hence more frequent illnesses as they 'catch up' (absences for which the schools are coming down heavily on children).

Our immune system learns from exposure to infection. How is my understanding wrong, here? Genuine question.

This. The amount of comments saying masks don't protect the wearer is ridiculous.

FFP2 / FFP3 provide the wearer with great protection, as well as stop the spreading of germs. If you want protection, it's those ones you need to be wearing (and make sure it's fitted properly around your nose), not the basic surgical masks. The basic surgical masks are good when worn by someone who is sick to prevent germs spreading, but are not as effective as FFP2.

FFP2 are your friend. FFP3 are more for use in a medical setting by health professionals.

That does seem a sensible option, tbh.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister
Even in the height of Covid we didn’t wear masks to teach in; it’s just not feasible.

We all know that it is feasible to teach wearing a mask, because we have done it.
I had to do it before and after Covid due to a poorly ventilated workshop under H&S orders (and yes the pupils had to wear one too).

Is it really any wonder why so many people leave to profession when even other teachers are expecting colleagues to martyr themselves, when simple protective methods will allow us to protect our health and wellbeing.

I agree - the school has decided so that’s that. That ought to be helping you to block these emails though.