It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

The more the birth rate drops the more it becomes the norm to be childfree, and the more the birth rate drops. Etc.

Sounds like a terrible show. Having children (family is broader than just children) vs. not is entirely a personal decision and the world would be better if people stopped focusing on others and minding their own life choices.

I really don’t think so.

I think falling birth rates are to do with social change which means women don’t need to partner up so much, so they don’t get round to it on time, plus people who do have kids having fewer because life is so expensive.

The birth rate is too low for sure, but cost of living and housing and working hours are to blame for that.

x posted

I treat my dog like a child and I have kids.

I have two DC but I can totally see why people are choosing not to have them:

Full time childcare for two under 3 is approx 3k/month - that's if you can find childcare!

Cost of living means that even if you can afford childcare, you can't afford to house, feed, clothe or entertain them

You're expected to work like you don't have children and employers are not understanding when you need to take time off for childcare related emergencies

Climate change is scary and who knows what world our children will inherit

Child benefit and tax free childcare caps haven't risen in line with wage inflation so now people on middle incomes are not eligible for any help

I suspect that the above are much more likely reasons that people choose not to have kids rather than it being fashionable

OMG I'm fashionable for the first time in my life 😁😁

Or it could be that people no longer feel that they have to have kids as that's the expectation of society.

But don't worry. Most people still think of us as total,freaks who have no joy or love in our lives 🙄

@Samanabanana two in nursery in London can easily set you back £4k a month now - and I know a lot of people not eligible for free hours / tax free childcare.

Even with a high salary, this is quite something to willingly sign up to. And that’s before you consider London’s insane housing costs.

To my mind, the bottom line for having a child or two is meeting the man.

Who is there for you and them, is financially solvent , treats you all with kindness etc.

Why bother otherwise?

Even if they wanted them finding a good man to have a baby with could easily eat up their remaining fertile years (especially if they actually want to like him.)

I’m not sure if the wider stats bear it out however in my experience there are a lot of people having one child.

I work in a fairly senior high paid role and almost all the women in similar positions end up having a single child at about 40. I don’t know any who has one before 35.

Most don’t start trying to have children earlier due to career progression and then many are happy with 1 if they want to provide private schooling v etc as 2+ starts to get very expensive particularly if you don’t want to retire too late in life.

It's a fact that the UK birth rate, and the birth rates in most other countries are falling. They have fallen considerably.

I don't think it's a question of being unfashionable though @Housebuyingfamily. Often, it's for financial reasons and because it is impossible for many to afford secure housing.
Other reasons might be because it is now acceptable to be single or not have children in a way that it wasn't previously or because women choose to pursue careers that aren't very compatible with children.

• Olympics - how many mums did it - celebrated everywhere

Yes, saw something on Facebook - The Olympics left us with countless heartwarming moments that showcased the beauty of motherhood. ❤️
Moms (and moms-to-be!) at the Games showed us that being a champion isn’t just about winning medals—it’s about the love, dedication, and the extraordinary journey they shared with their little ones every step of the way. 👏🏅

I mean, all power to mums and pregnant women competing in the Olympics but that is pure sentimental hogwash.

I don't think people are making decisions this big based on fashion.

The pressure on people to be perfect as parents and the judgement for not being is huge.
Children and families are more and more unwelcome in public spaces and socialising with children in tow is frowned upon.
The cost of living is astronomical.
Young people are struggling to afford adequate housing, let alone a secure home with enough space to raise a family.
There is uncertainty about the future and if the planet can survive the climate emergency.
Women have choices other than getting married and having children and many are exercising the right to make a different choice.
The education system is not keeping pace with society and is becoming less and less fit for purpose.
The NHS and other public services which used to support families are failing due to chronic, long-term underfunding.
The current older generation are less willing to offer help than previous generations.
Childcare costs are ridiculous.

Those are just a few of the contributing factors as to why we're not having kids as much as we used to.

@SoHotandPregnant87 I can understand not having children with a husband whom they think won’t pull their weight as a parent, it’s dodging trouble!

As you say though, why stay in the relationship if you view your partner as lame? Plus if one partner really does want children, it’s probably going to fail at some point. Being child free needs to be a joint decision.

😆😆😆

I didn’t decide not to have kids because it’s fashionable. I decided not to have kids because a) it’s not the 1800s and I have a choice and b) I couldn’t really think of any good reason for me to have any. At no point did DP and I feel there was anything missing from our relationship, so no need for us to make the massive change of having kids.

What does it matter anyway? Women aren’t brood mares. We don’t have to pop out kids on demand.

It's a fact that the UK birth rate, and the birth rates in most other countries are falling. They have fallen considerably.

So what, though? The planet’s fucked. We do not need to be over-populating it.

Ffs most people don't have kids to be "fashionable" 🙄🙄🙄

Roughly the same number don't have DCs at all.

What's changed the birth rates is that women are having fewer DCs and having them when they are older.

I have several female friends in their 40s without kids (can think of about 8 off the top of my head). Only 2 of them made a conscious choice not to.

Being child-free is very much a woman's decision.

Men usually fuck off sooner than later, have affairs, etc.

Most women are left holding the baby while he fucks off to create another family.

Men have their brain in their dick basically nowadays.

They can't even relate to how damaging the wide-spread use of porn is.

Well aren't you a treasure.

What about the scallies who have children and abuse them, neglect them? They're obviously so much better than people who consider their options and decide for whatever reason not to have children

Women who don't have children seem to put a great deal more thought into their decision than many who do.

It's not about it becoming trendy, it's become acceptable, which is a good thing I think. I'm amazed at how many people seem to automatically have kids as it's the done thing and I wonder if everyone fully thinks through such a massive decision

"nowadays"? - didn't realise it was a new thing!