It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

I make no apologies for saying I am a woman who absolutely does adore interacting with babies and children of all ages and belonging to anyone.They are undoubtedly hard work although the laughs, love and joy they bring more than makes up for it.

Interestingly something that hasn't been mentioned is for many women the love they share with their DH is another factor in the decision to have a child. It becomes an instinctive desire to 'make a baby' together. I also understand this doesn't always happen.There are are women who are not maternal and they decide along with their partners to take a different path.There is no right or wrong. Its simply a matter of choice.

I think the housing crisis in the UK plays a huge factor in why the birth rate has dropped in the UK. The younger generation are having to stay living at home with parents much longer due to being unable to afford their own home, plus a severe lack of social housing which means many are delaying starting a family due to having no home to raise kids. Back in the 80s & 90s I actually knew some young teenage friends that actually decided to have a baby because they new it would guarantee them they'd get their own council house and it was a way of leaving their parents home. As we know this doesn't happen these days due to the housing shortage.

This as a vile thing to say.
What exactly do you want? An echo chamber? A medal?

Why would you say that to someone who is happy and fulfilled with the choices they have made?

People are allowed to not be a fan of kids and prefer the company of pets without you spewing vitriol at them. Honestly. Get a grip.

Have you seen the cost of living??
When it usually takes 2 incomes to run a house, the price of childcare, the pressure to move to an outstanding school district etc etc you can't blame them for giving it a miss.

If you are single and unemployed, having a child will improve your finances.

I think people are realising you don't need to be married with kids to be successful in life anymore. The societal pressure isn't there. I think people are embracing asexuality or being in relationships that don't involve a desire for children. Contraception has also greatly improved.

Surely it’s a good thing that teenagers having babies purely in order to get their own home is a thing of the past? Children having children isn’t great for anyone involved.

Yes it is I agree.

I agree that it is counterproductive in every way to start a family when still a young teenager. However, from health point of view the optimal age to have a child is late teens to early 20s.

Haven’t RTFT apologies but funnily enough the FT had an article on this last month / more recently. The various stats said by about 2080 the global population will level out (at that point those in their teens and 20s now will have mostly died) and then begin to drop. Replacement rate has to be around 2.1 and some Asian countries are already way behind - South Korea on 0.7 now for example. Europe has been dropping for a while. In the meantime the world will have a major problem with so many elderly and insufficient younger people to look after them.

I think it is more acceptable nowadays to say you don't want kids. Years ago, any woman saying she did not want them was firmly told she was selfish and that she would change her mind.
As a teen (in the 90s), I told a teacher I never wanted kids, and it was brought up in a parent's evening!
Nowadays, expressing you are childfree is met with a reply of 'fair enough'. It think, in he main, people are more accepting of women saying they are childfree.

As a small child, I would not play with dolls, and was not interested in babies. When my brother was born, I refused to go near him.
I have zero idea of how to deal with kids. If someone asked me to watched their kid in a cafe whilst they popped to the loo, I would be leaving as I would not cope.

I have my dog, and I am happy with that in terms of a dependant. I would not cope with a kid at all and suspect social services would be involved if I had one.

I recently did a tally of my former classmates and less than half of us have kids. We are 33 now. It will be interesting to see what happens in the coming years, but I predict that ultimately it won’t be much more than half.

Edited to add that we went to an all-girls school, so we only have a finite time to have them.

I’ve also noticed a massive trend in women not settling for sub standard men anymore.

Just been posted on a council house thread

eggandchip · Today 23:24
Just be glad you got something op people in my town get given tents and sleeping bags because they are single and childless.
They are told they are not a priority because they dont have children.
Im lucky very very fucking lucky to have got a flat but it took me years of hostels sleeping rough hotels sofa surfing begging housing for help etc.
Still took me a month to get biding but i had a charity to help me along the

People are finally wising up to the fact this world is no place for kids.

Agreed. We were brought up believing that every woman needed a man and that those who didn't believe it were deluded feminists.

If I hadn't met a decent one I think I'd have been equally happy with a cat and a load of books - I just have those as well 😂.

That’s interesting @Rhaenys. My sense is that being childfree started to become socially acceptable among Gen x’ers like me (50 this year) and became completely acceptable among Millennials like you-would you agree with that? Prior to our generations, it would’ve been considered an odd choice/looked down on.

I don't think it was ever fashionable, it was just assumed and expected

Im 51 and i did a couple of chat shows about being child free by choice in the late 90s, I remember a male American accent yelling You"re not human" at me.

Cripes @JenniferBooth. 🙁

Definitely seeing it too, a lot of the younger people I know (20s 30s) say they’ve no interest in having kids due to cost and change in lifestyle (just to clarify, I don’t ask, I’ve 4 kids and it generally comes up in conversation!!)

Yes, and I can already see it’s becoming more so with Gen Z. Many young women are flat out saying they don’t want children, but we’ll have to see what happens in years to come. With Gen Z certainly it seems to be completely acceptable to say it out loud, whereas even with Millennials it wasn’t so much.
When I was in school I don’t remember any of my peers saying they didn’t want children, and amongst my friendship group we all said we did. Only 2 out of 8 of us have them so far though.

By current day measures you are all still young.

In my social and professional circle I only know of one person who had a child before the age of 33. Most are now mid 40’s and around three quarters of them have a child, the vast majority only have 1.

Don’t underestimate just how much biology impacts women as they approach 40. If you are settled and successful in a career then logistically 40 is an ideal age to have a child at least from a financial perspective.

I don’t think I even considered it as an option until I was about 38/39. It literally wasn’t on my radar despite having been in a stable relationship for 15 years at that point.

People just live their lives in a different pattern compared to the social norm a generation ago.

I'm 39 and nearly everyone in my school year has at least one child, the majority more than one. There's only one or two I can think of who don't. I was one of the oldest to have my ds at 35. Maybe it depends on area, economic status too.

Definitely economic status, in middle class circles it would be less than that. Just like in poorer areas, people have kids much younger