If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

[Britishsummertime22]

Finding weekends tough.

Yes many times. I do it on work trips (extending them) but also done solo trips to Europe and beyond. Lately added a bit of OLD in case I want someone to keep company 😂

I have and I loved it! I spent a long weekend in London last year - and I have been to New York, Singapore and Sydney alone.

London was a completely solo trip start to finish the other trips were a few days at the end of group holidays.

it was bliss. Planning what I wanted to do - reading a good book in the airport and on the plane.

nights were easier in London - theatre and a walking tour. Singapore I swam in the roof pool until it got too dark and New York was Winter and very dark so I got room service and watched trashy local tv - but I made the most of my days!

I always take a hop on hop off bus tour to start then walk, walk, walk

When I was single I would go shopping, go to museums, art galleries, meet friends for lunch, dinner, walk, run, read, do puzzles, go to the cinema.

When I was single and childless I saw friends, read, went for walks, did pottery on a Saturday morning at my local college...loved that and miss it, watched a movie I wanted too ..I miss that too, also watched Dawsons creek, friends... I miss time...that's seems to have gone now....

I did actually! Yes, I did have fleeting moments when I felt a bit sad (but I used to get those at home anyway) but there was so much to see and do it was a great distraction. I also think it imbued me with a good sense of independence.

To be honest, when you actually observe couples out together a lot of them dont look like they're having much fun anyway - I used to people watch and so many couples sit together and seem to have absolutely nothing to say to each other.

Dining alone is so common now I really dont think anyone notices or cares.

I have done this alone. What I have done before is to base myself around a city about 100-200 miles away and book Premier Inns based on their prices. Then plan what I do based on the order of the hotels I’m staying at. Sometimes I have stayed in a PI to the east of the city and then the following night, stay at one at north of the city. I know it’s messing around but this saves me about £150 for 3-4 nights. Which is about what I spend on meals out, admission fees to tourist attractions etc.

I have been abroad alone. Didn’t bother me as my friends are more sitting around the pool, clubbing lot. I’m not. Been on touring holidays with fellow solo travelers,

I got really used to eating alone on work trips so don’t feel self conscious at all.

when I was younger I would get ‘adopted’ by older couples! In the hotel in Singapore a lovely old couple insisted I eat with them and explained the breakfast buffet (which contained a lot of food I want familiar with). On a domestic flight in Australia an older man told me all about the history of the land we were flying over. People live to talk to solo travellers - particularly outside the UK.

there are amazing camps in America for solo travellers / I am currently tempted by a book club sleep away camp in New England for next summer😊

I love solo holidays!

Sometimes I’ll include an area where a friend lives & meet up with them, but I really enjoy exploring places on my own. I’ve got no idea whether anyone notices me & I don’t really care if they do.

Not single but childless and my husband is out one day every weekend either Saturday or Sunday from 7-7pm so I entertain myself for the day.

Saturdays I’ll usually get my hair/nails/brows/lashes done, go for a massage/facial, food shopping, shopping for clothes/house, visit family for a cuppa, go for coffee + cake, meet a friend or family for coffee/brunch/lunch/walk/theatre/national trust property/museum/cinema/spa day/festival/events/concerts etc

Sundays I’ll go to Yoga then home to potter. Get home and organise the house, sort life admin, bake, batch cook, read a book, have a bath and pamper, binge Netflix and just try to spend time properly relaxing.

I have done and have actually really enjoyed it. I've even spent my birthday away on holiday on my own.

I plan delicious food visits, visit museums and interesting gardens, go for nice walks, sit in cafés/bars and watch the world go by with a book.

I think good weather is key because it's a lot harder to have a nice time on your own if it's pissing it down with rain.

I also make sure I smile lots and I often end up chatting to other people eating or travelling alone - chatting on trains or whatever. I've even done a spa trip on my own.

Generally I prefer staying in an AirBnB or similar rather than a hotel because it means you don't have to eat out for every meal on your own if you don't fancy it. I also haven't actually done more than 3 nights in a single base on my own - I tend to flit about a bit more, whereas I'd be happier to commit to a longer time in a single place with other people I think.

Are you new to singledom/ getting over someone?

There was a time when I found it tough, I tried to stay at work as long as possible and didn’t like hearing others, especially random strangers, talk about their weekends with their partners while my ex was in hospital.

I’m in better headspace now (and I’d start with that in your shoes) and love my weekends. Usually it’s meet-ups with friends over weekend brunches, reading/ watching a good film if I’m in the mood and fancy being on my own at home, various events (books/ politics), trips solo or with friends, spa days, cultural things like museums/ theatre/ cinema, workouts and often lots of time in nature. Having pets can also be nice.

I know not everyone is sporty but try to build some exercise/ being outdoors into your routine, and eat quality fresh food. It helps immensely with your mental well-being. Staying by yourself on the sofa at home eating comfort food and thinking how lonely you are is only going to create spiral of negativity. Physical and mental health are so closely linked, so try to get out if the house as much as you can. Fake it til you make it basically 😊

I get it. OP is struggling with loneliness and finding something to do, so needs a nudge/ideas, maybe more than that.
No need to label me (and few others with similar response to OP) of being tone deaf.
Some of us are struggling as parents - the loneliness and finding something to do is just as overwhelming as single & childless people find it. We're just not recognised as having such anxieties.
I do apologise OP. If you have the money and time to travel and take photos to make huge albums for your own pleasure and/or for sharing your adventure stories with others, then do it - it will be time well spent.

I'm single and childless. I work full time and care for my Mum in the evenings/weekends. So my weekends are pretty dull, spent on stuff like grocery shopping, housework, batch cooking. And my pets. If I've any free time, I might do a bit of gardening. So it's rubbish really, I don't have any free time to relax or socialise etc at the weekends. Going to work feels like a break from home. So OP, if you're life isn't yet taken over by caring, make the most of it and hopefully you find a way to make your weekends a little better

The thing is this thread has highlighted that people who aren’t single and childless really don’t understand this.

we have had glib comments about how lucky we are - how people would love to have all that free time - even comments about childless single friends being lucky that their houses are clean.

it comes across as patronising and it’s really unhelpful to hear form people whose husbands are out for a few hours at the weekend.

everyone was childless and single at an early stage in their lives. OP didn’t ask what people used to do she asked what those (probably older people) do now - that all their friends have coupled up and the weekends stretch into infinity.

I’ve been to Germany alone a couple of times and a few other places around Britain. I am a bit of a sad act that gets fixated on things and can’t move onto something else until I’ve done it. City breaks are just full of normal people. Not sure I’d want to go anywhere ‘romantic’ even as part of a couple, but there are other places I’d love to visit.

I have no problem travelling on my own in Europe. If I wanted to go to a different continent, I think I'd join a group holiday, but Europe is fine.
There are challenges of course, budget constraints because it's more expensive, nobody to share the anxiety over travel disruptions with, etc. but there are pluses as well - you notice a lot more things when you're on your own and you don't have to compromise over what you do.

Then I'm one of those people who really don't understand. My apologies for being ignorant ☹️

I think the first time is the worst as you realise that there is only yourself to rely on. It takes a bit of confidence at times to do things alone. The worst thing I found really was when you end up in a seedier looking area and trying to not look like an easy target walking around.

The seedy areas are sometimes because of the budget constraints, travelling alone being more expensive than with someone else unfortunately. I remember arriving somewhere in Spain by coach at 4am in the main August holiday week with people taking hard drugs openly in front of me. When I reached my accommodation they weren't expecting me...

I do also have my strategies to make travelling alone easier e.g. I eat before the rush so restaurants are happy to see me rather than annoyed at having to give up a table for just one person. I also do like a pp and spend time visiting places where I already have friends.

That’s one reason I usually organise my holidays to the max. I can just as easily wake up & decide to have a long, lazy brunch & spend the afternoon with a book, but having plans for each day, knowing how the local public transport works & a rough idea of the area makes me feel more comfortable.

Oh my weekends are far too short! My job is extremely full on so I often work on Saturday. But I also go to the gym and when the weather’s good, I spend the day on the beach in the summer. I should do housework but mostly don’t. There are so many things to do. A day and a half is never enough.

Am I alone in finding this rather offensive

Sorry, it wasn't meant to me. The point I was rather clumsily making was that like many of us, I have been in my current relationship for a significant number of years - over a decade now. Im in my early 50's so it has been since I was late 30's. I spent all of my 40's in this relationship and all of my 50's so far.

Like many of us I've changed in the two decades since I was in my 30's and definitely since my 20's. My interests have changed, as have my responsibilities and my income. The life I was leading when I was last single was very different to the life I would be leading now, should I ever be single again, just because of the age, responsibilities, income etc etc.

So, long term married/partnered up people coming onto a thread like this and saying what they would do if they were single now or what they did do when they were single, are patronising and condescending to people who are over 35 and single, childless now.

Oh and the join a club or volunteer at Christmas line is also annoying. Some people don't want to do either, and that should be fine.

Brilliant advice, thank you

I know/knew couples who never holidayed together as they have different tastes what they want. I remember a couple, sadly no longer with us. The husband was a sitting by the pool with a good book or two and didn't want to sample local food. His wife loved to explore and couldn't think of anything worse than doing what her husband does. This was before covid.

He booked a last minute deal and got the flight details. His wife, packed a suitcase of separates and went with him to the airport. She approached the staff at the airline desks asking what flights have a seat to book on and most of the time, she was able to book something that day or on the odd time, the next day. She then went to WH Smith in the airport and buy a travel guide for the city or area. Once she landed at the destination airport, there was usually a desk to book hotel accommodation and either got the bus or a taxi into the city.

She went to from what I can remember, Oslo, Nice, Bari, Athens, Funchal.