Why would you send anything with Postman Pat’s special delivery service?

[LegitimateAntelope]

Why would you send anything with Postman Pat’s special delivery service? Has any of his deliveries got to their destination in good time with no fuck ups?

Worst of all, when he sorts it out he gaslights everyone by presenting himself as the hero, when half the time he’s just clearing up his own mess.

I’m amazed more people in Greendale haven’t complained to the ombudsman.

My cartoon crush is Ben from the Sorting Office so I’d probably risk in in the hope I got to meet him 😁

It feels more like Evri than Royal Mail.

I don't think there's much of an alternative. I've never seen a DPD van on double yellows in Pat's village or an Amazon driver blocking someone's driveway.

Be careful, I’ve heard his wife is on here!

😂

I would use it.

He always delivers, even on a very snowy day.

Plus Jess is pretty cute.

Yep, god forbid if you send anything other than recorded delivery. It must be nice to have plenty of different vehicles at your disposal though, you know, if the van breaks down you can just jump in a helicopter and you’re automatically a qualified pilot 🤷🏼‍♀️

He spends so much time sorting out one delivery. I’m sure he’s not meeting his KPIs. Where’s the capability process?

He is absolutely fucking inept. Breaks stuff, opens people's packages and uses a helicopter if a road is shut. I can't imagine a helicopter flight costs less than £100 minimum per flight (let alone the initial outlay, maintenance and training). It's an absolute waste of taxpayers' money and I'll be astonished if Pat isn't involved in some sort of Cumbrian drug-smuggling scam. Follow the money.

Something suspicious about the age of that cat.

Pat started work in 1981, with Jess by his side- 43 years later she's still there, so she's at least 43, cats don't live that long 😂

Has he ever been known to open a door to deliver a parcel?

If so, there's no way any decent mumsnetter would let her near their house. Unless they need a reason to start a thread of course...

We need a diagram showing the route to the door 😀.

Jess is a male cat. I mention this because I find it very confusing!

Pronouns? 😀

You'd have thought given the recent Post Office scandal that they would be clamping down on this flagrant misuse of taxpayers' money. #sackpat

Jess is an animagus & Pat’s ineptitude is due to being a wizard trying to live as a Muggle, anthropologist-style?

Brilliant thread!
Can you imagine all of the MN threads there would be if Postman Pat was your postman? I think there was a thread the other day as the postman had opened someone's front door to leave a parcel. That is nothing in comparison to the antics Pat gets up to.
On the topic of antics, I always thought a few too many of the children in the village looked like him.

Rewrite the song:
Postman Pat, Postman Pat … [over to you]

He delivered my IKEA cake stand yesterday.. Smashed as expected.... And Jess did a big poo in my flower bed...

Well on that note apparently Fireman Sam is allegedly Norman Prices " estranged Father" .according to the rumours .

The amount Royal Mail must spend on helicopter fuel alone!!!!!

Apparently he is untouchable due to his union and length of service. Just look at the house he lives in.

Goodness knows what Mrs Goggins thinks about the whole thing. She must be disgusted.

That dodgy vicar?

Fire man Sam is Norman’s uncle….. I’m sure the little walking asbo calls him Uncle Sam

Astonishing how the always opens the parcel and uses whatever item within. Nosy prick.