Why would you send anything with Postman Pat’s special delivery service?

[LegitimateAntelope]

Why would you send anything with Postman Pat’s special delivery service? Has any of his deliveries got to their destination in good time with no fuck ups?

Worst of all, when he sorts it out he gaslights everyone by presenting himself as the hero, when half the time he’s just clearing up his own mess.

I’m amazed more people in Greendale haven’t complained to the ombudsman.

That's what everyone thinks ......

It's Mrs Goggins I don't trust. I'm sue there's some backhanders or something going on behind the counter there. She's seedy as hell that woman. Wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. No way.

AIBU to think it was overkill for the postman to deliver my Amazon package via helicopter? Surely we should all be doing our bit for the climate crisis, and TBH I didn't need the Eufy hoover that badly. It could have waited until tomorrow.

What on earth is a cat doing in the van in the first place? Call the Cats Protection League!

Surely Jess by law needs to be in a crate? Is he even chipped? Neutered? He could be fathering dc all over the route!

I think it's those two blond kids that are his sisters. The brother and sister.

Norman Dad isn't around I don't think. He is an absolute liability.

👀

OP, I think you were listening to a conversation I had the other day. He's useless!

@Jettyspaghetti "Pat started work in 1981, with Jess by his side- 43 years later she's still there, so she's at least 43, cats don't live that long"

You just misgendered Jess.....

Postman Pat,
Postman Pat,
Postman ran over his cat,
All the guts went flying, Postman Pat was crying,
He swears he'll never drink & drive again

(not my own composition, from an '80s childhood)

I agree there are far too many ginger children in Greendale compared to the number of ginger adults.

I’ve always said how appalling Pat is at his job - although I do admire the way he has managed to convince everyone he is indispensable!

Well Julian is still about 10 as well and Postman Pat would be well retired by now surely. He was around when my neice was a kid 40 odd years ago!
Actually I would love to live in Greendale World. Everything always turns out right in the end ( despite Pats best efforts at sabotage ) everyone gets on with endless community spirit and best of all it always snows at Christmas.

It might not be the same cat. Pat just calls each new cat 'Jess' because he was so attached to Jess the first. Some cats do live for over 20 years, so it is possibly he is only on Jess the second by now, but more likely Jess the third or fourth. Cats supplied by a local breeder who specialises in black and white cats that happen to look exactly the same.

Or, he's been cloning them. Jess could be the cat equivalent of Dolly the sheep.

He doesn't keep anything safe either. Half of Gerrndale had a bash on the bag pipes before they got to Mrs Goggins. Admittedly, I can't remember if they were a 'special delivery' or not, but the point still stands

I have never forgotten a comedian called Richard Digense ( or something like that ) making up.a v funny version of the theme tune.
Words below set to the normal theme tune.

Postman Pat , Postman pat,

Postman Pat just ran over his cat.
Blood and guts were flying
Postman Pat was crying
Did you ever see a cat as flat as that !

@ObelixtheGaul Could be true . Apparently, the Andrex puppies were related so they had the same look. Maybe Jess is the same. (Or was that the Dulux dog?)

I'd always assumed it was a comment on the Post Office being privatised - in the original series, Pat is (moderately) competent, but not once it's the special delivery service. Or maybe he no longer works for Royal Mail (I note their logo is no longer used) but Evri instead....

I wasn’t ready to find out Jess is a boy?!!

And as to him being a 43 year old cat, do we really believe that the incompetent buffoon Pat could sustain Jess for 5+ decades? He’d probably accidentally mail Jess to Brazil, or something.

I had a postman Pat book when I was little that had Pat cycling through a succession of unsuitable pets before eventually settling on a kitten ie Jess. Pretty sure at least some of them were also called Jess, I definitely remember an out-of-control border collie. Not sure what happened to the rejects, hope they were adopted by someone more responsible!

Personally, I think the special delivery service is some sort of money laundering scam and the citizens of Greendale are all in on it. Otherwise why would they choose to pay for special delivery at the last minute to order something they’ve known for weeks they need for a specific date?
Village fetes, big concerts, landmark birthdays - these need to be planned in advance, not cobbled together the day before. It’s clearly all a big front.

Ds used to say 'there's daddy' every time Ben came on the screen. Dh does actually bear a slight resemblance to Ben 😂

It looks like the good folks of Greendale have also had enough of Pat Bastard Clifton's gaslighting and enduring incompetence.

Postman pat, postman pat,
Postman pat is a useless twat,
Early in the morning just as day is dawning he wakes up hungover in his van,
Postman pat, he is a love rat,
Postman pat is loading his sack,
All the mums are waiting,
sat in their negligees anticipating,
That they can make pat a really happy man,
Everybody knows his bright red van,
All the men scowl as their wives wait to “greet him”
Because maybe… they can never be sure…
If it will be their wife Pat is knocking off or just putting letters through the door…
Post man Pat, Postman Pat,
Pat loves pussy not just his cat,
Early in the morning, just as day is dawning,
Pat slings the post bags into his van,
Post man pat, postman pat,
He fucks up and blames his cat!
All the birds are singing and pats phone won’t stop ringing,
With his full sack he’s a really busy man…

Jess is a boy?!

Me and DM used to watch Pat with DD back in the late 1990's. Remember being very surprised after a few months when Julian and a wife appeared out of nowhere. DD had a big stuffed Pat she carried around by his massive nose. Agree with Fireman Sam Norman offspring theories 😂

What taxpayers' money? Royal Mail was privatised years ago.