Husband shouts at kids for ‘wearing’ suncream

[Standuptoracism]

Some parents have arguments trying to make their kids wear suncream. Well in my household it’s the opposite. My husband goes mad every time my kids put suncream on. He shouts and insults us. The other week, he complained they put in on in the bathroom. So they put it on in the kitchen but he complained that we sat on the settees after or even that they sat on sun beds and the sunbeds would need hosing down. He said to put it on outside but then not touch or sit on anything. Then we put it on outside but he shouted at my kids and said they couldn’t go in the car because they would ruin the seats. I asked him when they could put it on and he said, “When we get to the beach!” But the problem is they get sand on them there and miss bits, or go straight in the sea, or the in takes some of it so bits are missed, so they burn. I have huge rows with h as I put it on them. This happens every holiday. My kids are At secondary school and they have burned shoulders practically every year due to not putting on suncream on at some point. AIBU to think my husband is being unreasonable to care more about not getting suncream on car seats, sun beds or settees than he is about our kids getting burnt.

You’re meant to put suncream on 20 minutes before you head out into the sun. Your DH is being ridiculous and should be delighted they are actively putting it on and trying not to get burnt!

Everyone has their thing, but this sounds completely loopy to me. It is greasy and it can stain, but I’ve been slathering my kids in the car/house for yonks and have only had a handful of spills/stains. The scale of the rows you’re describing sound very disproportionate to the actual issue.

Your poor kids! I'll admit that it does stain, but I'm always fretting about skin cancer and making sure we do our bit to protect the kids while they are young - I'd always rather have stains than guilt.

He is literally causing them harm. How will you feel if they get skin cancer because you stayed with a man who prevented their care? Is he their father? If not, I can't see how you could possibly justify staying with someone hurting your children in this way.

How do people live like this? Honestly @Standuptoracism what are you doing?

Are they his kids? It reads like they're not.

If that's the case, do they need to be living in a home with a Man they're not related to, who shouts at them for doing something that could save their lives?

Why is he so thick? Is he genuinely more worried about a bit of suncream on his car seats than his kids' health? Or does he think it's all a conspiracy, and we're all in the pay of Big Ambre Solaire?

I don’t think the suncream is the real issue here.

Seriously? Would he rather his kids had skin cancer?

When mine were small we had (trendy at the time!) brown leather sofas and I used to spray the kids before school. Didn't realise for quite some time that I was spraying the bottom of the sofas too. Rather Thant than the alternative.

Show him some Dr Andrea Dray videos on Youtube and he will change his mind.

This is crazy. I wouldn't be married to someone who screamed at my children about anything for a start.

Car seat covers for the car seats. Towles or throws on everything else

He's abusing your kids.

This.

Are they his children??

He can take them to the dermatology clinic in their 30's then to get a dodgy mole looked at due to his ridiculousness....

That stuff is scary having done that and worn the t-shirt myself. I've always slathered mine in suncream but when they hesitate I just show them my biopsy scar and they soon comply.

I wash my sofa cushions every couple of months, as are the car seat covers etc. Kids can smother it on what they like, the trauma of having a biopsy done is more important to avoid.

He sounds rather selfish.

I've had skin cancer and now sport a rather unfashionable 10cm scar and a banana shaped chunk out of my arm. That coupled with lymph node removal and the knowledge that the only thing stopping you from getting full blown deadly cancer is your ability to see a small change in a mole. Perhaps he is of the opinion that the polio or HPV vaccine is just being flamboyant?

I think his head needs a wobble. Would he like to see the pints of fluid drained from my armpit post surgery? Or hear the sharp intake of breath from my mum when I told her I had a rapidly advancing cancer?

Tell him to fucking get a grip ~or fuck off entirely~ . Sunburn in childhood is scientifically proven to increase your risk of skin cancer in future, the UV light actually damages the DNA in our cells. People die every day of skin cancer. Why would he want to increase that risk?!

If his stupid cat seats are more important than your kids health, I'd really find it impossible to be with him at all, personally.

I have a leather bag which is worth about £500. It got suncream on it once, the kids accidentally did it. It's damaged it permanently. But guess what? I hid my upset, because the fact that they put suncream on at all is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than any object. Hes being a shit parent
I bet if you look, there's more than just this browbeating happening, is he shit in other ways? He honestly sounds like an aggressive fun sponge from your description.

Suncream is so important, my shit parent let me get disastrously burnt as a child (back then you simply had to come back from hols with a tan, on their outdated opinion 🙄 I don't tan, I just skip straight to burnt, I am white as a sheet) and honestly it is neglect to allow that to happen.

You can buy creams that don’t stain. Look up Korean and Asian brands. They are mire expensive but probably worth it to svoid a row.

Wow your DH is a dick.
Apart from the odd white top we have never stained anything with suncream, esp as there are now so many types.
He's worried about his bloody carseats?! I've heard it all now..

I think you have far more to worry about than suncream. He’s a total idiot

Just to avoid arguments in your house- you may like to try a mist spray suncream as they aren't greasy/gloopy and won't stain furniture. Altruist and garnier both do good ones. I still think he is totally unreasonable btw!

Use water based stuff?

If they aren't his children ( not that that makes it ok) I'd be leaving with my children. It is massively unfair to have this man in their lives shouting at them if they aren't related.

If they are his id still want to leave but contact would be harder to sort.

He sounds a complete arse and of course it’s very important but they really should try not to make a mess with the cream. Get the clear spray stuff, Nivea. He needs to have a word with himself.

YANBU! Is he mad?! He should be thrilled that the children are putting on suncream! If he is that bloody worried about car seats, then he can buy some covers for them, and buy a throw for the sofas.