Husband shouts at kids for ‘wearing’ suncream

[Standuptoracism]

Some parents have arguments trying to make their kids wear suncream. Well in my household it’s the opposite. My husband goes mad every time my kids put suncream on. He shouts and insults us. The other week, he complained they put in on in the bathroom. So they put it on in the kitchen but he complained that we sat on the settees after or even that they sat on sun beds and the sunbeds would need hosing down. He said to put it on outside but then not touch or sit on anything. Then we put it on outside but he shouted at my kids and said they couldn’t go in the car because they would ruin the seats. I asked him when they could put it on and he said, “When we get to the beach!” But the problem is they get sand on them there and miss bits, or go straight in the sea, or the in takes some of it so bits are missed, so they burn. I have huge rows with h as I put it on them. This happens every holiday. My kids are At secondary school and they have burned shoulders practically every year due to not putting on suncream on at some point. AIBU to think my husband is being unreasonable to care more about not getting suncream on car seats, sun beds or settees than he is about our kids getting burnt.

sorry but he sounds insane :S

I get your H’s point of getting sunscreen on furniture, car seats etc but surely you can just lay a towel under the kids to sit after they put it on?
if there’s sunscreen mess everywhere, I’d be angry too but definitely the solution isn’t not to put any on. And yes, should be put on 20-30 mins before sun exposure

Traditional suncream may actually be causing skin cancer.

People who have just put suncream on should not sit on sofas or carseats. Apply just a small amount, not masses and wait for a bit until its well absorbed. Alternative is to wear sleaves to stop their shoulders from sunburn.

Obviously its not ok to shout. Sounds like he has a panic attack or similar going on. Perhaps stemming from his parents being obsessive about something similar. If the kids have ruined sofas etc. and are still doing it, its hard to blame him.

If this was about the car seats or furniture why would he not throw an old towel or sheet down rather than expect kids to go without protection? This is weird.

You need to protect your children from this abusive man.

OP should save her money. Don't waste it on throws and car seat covers. Bundle up "D"H in a few heavy duty binbags, (decent ones from Screwfix) and chuck him into the sea.

Well your husband is misguided, although it go he is right it stains and ruins surfaces. I think uv tops/rash vests make more sense and protect from burnt shoulders.

@katepilar Traditional suncream may actually be causing skin cancer.

Please cite your sources for this statement.

No parent would want their children to suffer from skin cancer. My stepfather died from it and his son has had moles etc removed since he was in his teens. Both lived in Australia for 10 years.

Your H is an abusive controlling prick. It’s not about sun cream, he is just a petty dictator. It’s not rocket science to protect furniture or car seats. If you can’t well too bad. Live with it. Better than a nasty illness, unpleasant treatment and premature death.

100% agree.

YANBU to think he’s unreasonable to seem more bothered about suncream on furniture.

But I’d be more concerned about the shouting and insults. Disagreements happen. But abuse is unacceptable.

@katepilar yes please quote your sources. TikTok and social media grifters don’t count.

Sunscreen should be applied as 2mg per square centimetre of skin. That’s about 2 tbs.

Sunburn is skin damage as is a tan.

This isn't about suncream - he shouldn't be shouting at you or your kids full stop. He sounds controlling

I dont keep track of resources and they may not be in English anyway. Obviously the info does not come from any TikTok and such nonsense. It wont be easily googleable, for obvious reasons (cosmetics and pharma business...). Conventioanal suncreams contain chemicals that are harmful to human body and wildlife, causing hormonal disruptions and other conditions.

American Environmental Working group should have some more info.

Some English resources about toxicity of conventional sunscreens for those who are interested.
https://www.ewg.org/sunscreen/report/the-trouble-with-sunscreen-chemicals/
https://www.alternativetomeds.com/blog/is-sunscreen-healthy/
https://allgoodbodycare.com/blogs/news/what-is-oxybenzone-and-why-we-ll-never-put-it-in-your-sunscreen

His issue isn't the sunscreen lol. I too have been cross about putting on sun cream indoors. Ive slipped on the excess before when dc have used the spray bottles or it goes everywhere, on the floors and the walls. Once it's on and absorbed it shouldn't mark anywhere but I know it can leave marks on leather if not dried but once the skin absorbs the cream all is good.

Fair enough to tell them not to go near sofa straight after putting it on, but he's being downright dangerous, bullying, and hugely OTT to worry about sunbeds and cars etc. Skin cancer and good habits for life trump all that.

@katepilar so what suncream do you/your kids use?

Sun damage is also cancer causing so there has to be a line as to taking the least worst thing for you (sunburn which we know can cause cancer and increase risk of cancer each time you are burned/potential harmful chemical which MAY cause cancer but also may prevent it..)

This is about more than suncream marking furniture. He sounds like an unreasonable control freak. Also, having seen what metastasised melanoma does to a body I can assure you he is being a shortsighted twat. Application 15-20 minutes before sun exposure. Uk and abroad.

Think this might be the solution.

Yes they are his kids. I would say he has a phobia of suncream.

Thanks. I shall look into this.

So my husband is a good, reliable husband in many ways. I strongly suspect he is on the autistic spectrum (as our kids are) and he has sensory issues to do with suncream. I just feel vindicated by knowing the majority of those commenting on here agree he’s in the wrong so it’s not me. He does suggest staying in until the evening but the kids want to play football outside etc during the day and I don’t particularly want them inside on a screen all day. I would much prefer them to be outside in the sea on holiday or on bikes with friends etc. When they were smaller they wore swimming tops but don’t now. I’m

There is no situation it's ok for him to shout and insult you. That's abuse.

This is not how people who love their partner and children behave. It's no where near normal.

I think you all deserve better.

Whether or not he has autism, it does not excuse his emotionally abusive behaviour.