Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband shouts at kids for ‘wearing’ suncream

77 replies

Standuptoracism · 17/08/2024 20:24

Some parents have arguments trying to make their kids wear suncream. Well in my household it’s the opposite. My husband goes mad every time my kids put suncream on. He shouts and insults us. The other week, he complained they put in on in the bathroom. So they put it on in the kitchen but he complained that we sat on the settees after or even that they sat on sun beds and the sunbeds would need hosing down. He said to put it on outside but then not touch or sit on anything. Then we put it on outside but he shouted at my kids and said they couldn’t go in the car because they would ruin the seats. I asked him when they could put it on and he said, “When we get to the beach!” But the problem is they get sand on them there and miss bits, or go straight in the sea, or the in takes some of it so bits are missed, so they burn. I have huge rows with h as I put it on them. This happens every holiday. My kids are At secondary school and they have burned shoulders practically every year due to not putting on suncream on at some point. AIBU to think my husband is being unreasonable to care more about not getting suncream on car seats, sun beds or settees than he is about our kids getting burnt.

OP posts:
NowImNotDoingIt · 17/08/2024 21:25

But... why?!?

Saytheyhear · 17/08/2024 21:26

Your children are a bit older and know the need to keep out of 30' hot middle of the day sunshine.

Explain they need to have their shoulders covered, start going out early for walks in the early morning light and hit the beach in the evening.

Less need for sun lotion if any and they can sit in the shade. Everyone's a winner.

quickturtle · 17/08/2024 21:27

What suncream are you using??

Thelittlecatinatree · 17/08/2024 21:28

The poor kids, of course he's being very unreasonable. Suncream is meant to be put on a while before going out into the sun.

SilenceInside · 17/08/2024 21:28

"He shouts and insults us" - that's the problem here, not the specific topic of sun cream. He shouldn't be shouting and insulting you and the children. It's something very minor that he should be able to discuss with you, not involving the children, and you both sort out an agreed approach.

Is he like this about other things?

NerrSnerr · 17/08/2024 21:29

I can't believe he's only like this about sun cream- I bet he's an arsehole about other things.

It's not a good way to live is it? Are they his kids?

rwalker · 17/08/2024 21:31

You both have valid points it’s not a case of ether or
you both need to workout how to put it on and not get it everywhere

35965a · 17/08/2024 21:32

He sounds like a fucking weirdo

ssd · 17/08/2024 21:32

Poor kids. An arsehole for a father and a mother who allows it to happen.

MrsSunshine2b · 17/08/2024 21:32

That's disgusting. He values cars and furniture more than his children's health and comfort. I honestly couldn't be with someone so selfish and materialistic.

NerrSnerr · 17/08/2024 21:34

rwalker · 17/08/2024 21:31

You both have valid points it’s not a case of ether or
you both need to workout how to put it on and not get it everywhere

Does he really have valid points? Every other family manage to get sun cream on in the house without a grown adult shouting and insulting children.

DeadpoolvsBlackswan · 17/08/2024 21:35

What a way to live. I will give you my first LTB because he sounds like a controlling knob head.

MyOtherHusbandIsAWash · 17/08/2024 21:35

This is really sad. I have had skin cancer and my specific type occurs due to burning as a child. I burned badly a few times as a kid and paid the price-I have never really burned as an adult and the dermatologist asked me pointedly if I burned as a kid. I am neurotic with my kids and myself and only use factor 50.

piscofrisco · 17/08/2024 21:35

Jesus. I'd be water boarding him with sun cream if it was my husband acting like that. I've heard it all now...

Tescovalu · 17/08/2024 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tescovalu · 17/08/2024 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MeinKraft · 17/08/2024 21:37

This is not normal and even if it is a piss take hopefully it alerts someone reading that this kind of behaviour is abusive and you don't have to put up with it.

SantasRubiksCube · 17/08/2024 21:37

This is one of the most batshit things I've ever read about on here, someone actually shouting at and insulting anyone, let alone his own family.....for using suncream?! I agree with others who have said this issue is more then just about suncream, he sounds mad! As for the posters making suggestions about how the op can placate her crazy arse of a husband, surely that's just feeding into his idea that to get his own way all he has to do is be a complete dick and they'll comply???

fashionqueen0123 · 17/08/2024 21:42

Letting them get burnt is child neglect.

Orangebadger · 17/08/2024 21:42

He sounds like my OH. More concerned with everything being clean, neat and tidy than anything else... the arguments we have had! He won't actually put sun cream on. But to be fair he's not yet gone bonkers about the kids doing this yet.

Haveyouanyjam · 17/08/2024 21:44

Sorry, what??

Is he dark skinned? I ask this because my husband is mixed race and doesn’t wear suncream unless abroad and I had to drill it into him that our kids need suncream and had to teach him about how it even worked really (as in middle of the day and summer being more important due to strength of UV etc) because he’d basically never worn it. So is there a chance he doesn’t get the importance?

Still doesn’t justify him being a total dick about it, but it just made me wonder if he views it as unimportant.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 17/08/2024 21:49

Of course he is wrong. But that being said, I'm in the US so I dont know if you have the spray sunscreen over there. We use that and it doesnt leave any residue. Also, you say its their shoulders that burn, my kids have always worn swim shirts so that most of their torso is protected.

BlackShuck3 · 17/08/2024 21:55

duct tape over his mouth & squirt suncream up his nose, THEN see what he thinks about suncream!
Only joking, what a silly man😇

Sparklfairy · 17/08/2024 21:56

Ugh you've made me remember family holidays as a teen. DM was fastidious about us putting it on, but OMG once it was applied the utter angst and constant nagging from her.

'Ugh, if you get in the pool, you'll have to put suncream on again'
'Ugh, if you dry yourself on the towel on your sunbed, you'll rub off all the suncream'. Ffs I'll just lie on the bare sunbed then which is super uncomfortable shall I?
'If we go in for lunch, we shouldn't sit on the chairs with the suncream.' WTF. I thought this was a relaxing holiday?

And breathe... Grin That was therapeutic.

PortiaWithNoBreaks · 17/08/2024 21:56

Oh my days OP. This is a hill to die on.

One incidence of blistering sunburn in childhood doubles the risk of skin cancer as an adult. Just one. There’s lots of data on this so google it and send him some maybe.

The obvious solution is to put a towel or something on the sofa/car whatever. That and rash vests to wear when swimming.